To buy a black doll?

[Marni83]

I feel ridiculous asking this.
Really, but this is a my best friend.
I’ll explain

My oldest closest friend is married to a black man. Together they have been the most incredible support to me. Her husband is my daughter’s god father. They have three children, obviously mixed race.

We have been close friends for more than 25 years. We have never ever spoken about race, racism, challenges her husband has faced, any avid directed at them. Nothing. It is inevitable that he/they have encountered something over the years - but she has never shared. And I have never asked because she is a very forthright person so I have taken the lead that if she hasn’t mentioned, it’s because she doesn’t want to. I don’t know whether I’m right in doing that, but that’s another thread!

Anyway, her daughter’s (my god daughter) 7th birthday and I would love to buy her the most beautiful mixed race doll.

I don’t know whether she will see this as me making a point.

I know this seems stupid. I know that. But I would so appreciate some thoughts.

Thanks

I am a mixed race person, and growing up 90's/2000's it was almost impossible to find a doll who looked like me. So we just didn't have any dolls at all! I know I would have loved to have seen a little doll to play with who looked like me.
On another note, it's important for children of all races to be introduced to dolls who look different to them also, so to gift a little doll who may not look quite like them is great as well.

I think this is a lovely gift, especially seeing as she adores dolls. No need to mention the race thing, just a lovely card about how you know she loves them and you hope she enjoys her gift perhaps!

But please don't use the term 'mixed race'. We're all mixed race.

My little boy has a beautifull black doll, it was mine as a child. He loves her so much. We're white so nothing wrong with getting her a doll.

I voted YABU for even asking. I had black dolls 35 years ago. What's the problem here?!

I think you are overthinking this.
It's a present for a child so buy the present you think that child will love.

The doll I was most excited to buy this year was the new black Ken doll with joints & rooted hair.
He can sit without sticking his legs straight out in front of him like most of the black male ken dolls.
I usually have to do surgery & give black kens other skin tone jointed Ken legs & arms to get them to pose properly.

I'm neither male nor black.

Tad racist you have to check it's ok to buy a non white doll.

@WIS76

Go for it and don't stress, she won't notice skin tone she'll just love her new toy xxx

She will definitely notice.

Buy the black doll.

It’s nice, important even. for kids to have toys and cartoon characters that reflect their own features.

My child is biracial. She loves her black barbies. She’s notices they are the same colour as her/her dad but she likes that. Everywhere you look it’s white dolls, white characters in books etc, it is getting better, but children notice and appreciate the diversity.

Mind you I would have no qualms buying a black doll for a white child either, my friends have done the same and their kids like having dolls with the same skin tone as their friends.

Actually, not only ask her mother which doll she wants, people were forever buying DD dolls and she just wasn't interested. Check that she plays with them first.

If she's your oldest, closest friend- just ask her .... it's a present for her daughter, not for her.... say you have no clue and would it be ok. 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Popsicle438

Black dolls weren't around in my day (nearing seventy) but I think if someone had bought me one I would have felt they were pointing out my difference. But, I was very sensitive, the only mixed race child in my school and got called all the ugly names. So I would have seen it as just another insult. Things have changed since then but I would still be a bit wary.

Yes they were, I'm 73 and I had one, probably in the early 1950s.

My DDs are mixed white and Asian and always preferred the dolls who looked like them, they had a barbie wearing a sari and they adored her. As the parent I would appreciate and understand why you chose the black doll.

I always find it really very weird how white people get extremely awkward in these types of situations. It's a doll, there is no issue unless it's a gollywog type of thing.

I mentioned this thread to my 22yr old dd whose is of mixed heritage(the term she uses to describe herself). She said every one's an individual and op needs to ask parents or child what they would like. As previously mention in a pp my dd was given a doll made to match her colourings and features which she loved, but she also had white dolls and black dolls. For her as a child it was important to have a doll that looked like her, rather than a really pink doll or a really dark brown doll, in the same way Asian children often struggle to find a doll that reflect their ethnicity.