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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To make DS go to college tomorrow with painted nails?

98 replies

saehe · 05/09/2021 19:36

DS is 16, he's got his first day of college tomorrow.

Every first day back at school, he'd always say he didn't want to go, and this year is the same, although this time it's college.

DP has agreed to take him but DS is still saying he doesn't want to go, so me and DP have a feeling he's going to refuse to go tomorrow.

Anyway, he went to meet up with his friend, he got back and his nails are painted, I told him I don't have any nail varnish remover and he seemed fine with it, he then comes to me and tells me he can't go to college tomorrow with his nails painted as it's his first day and people will laugh at him and he doesn't want them to know he's bisexual.

He has his nails painted occasionally, but not often at all and I suspect this time he's done it so he has an excuse to not go to college.

WIBU to make him go to college with painted nails? As he agreed to them being painted, so surely he should take the consequences or is that too mean as its his first day with new people?

I'm in two minds so I could do with opinions! Or any tips on how to get the nail varnish off as I've already told him to wash his hands with warm water but it hasn't worked.

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 05/09/2021 20:41

Not wanting to go on the first day, is that anxiety? Either way, he does need to go, doesn’t he?

MiddleClassProblem · 05/09/2021 20:44

@Candleinthebreeze do you really think nail varnish is only worn by people who are sexually attracted to men?

That’s a very small box you live in.

Catasptrophisemycat · 05/09/2021 20:46

He's 16 - if he doesn't want to go then ask him what he wants to do. - sorry but he just needs to get on with it (if that's what he wants to do)

Painted nails? Really who actually cares? Is this his "rebellion"? If so then he needs to get a grip and also understand that wearing nail varnish does not make him Bi or any more interesting that the hundred other students starting tomorrow.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 05/09/2021 20:49

@Candleinthebreeze

What a dickish comment. Unnecessary.

ISpyCobraKai · 05/09/2021 20:49

@Candleinthebreeze
He's not heterosexual as he sometimes has painted nails?
I must inform my Dd immediately.
Painted nails=not straight.

MrsSkylerWhite · 05/09/2021 20:49

Really curious to know how you’re going to make a 16 year old do something they don’t want to do? Short of physically dragging them there, how does that work? (Genuine question, not snipy . As a parent of a then non-compliant teenager, used to drive me nuts when people said “well just make her” but couldn’t explain how).

Hugoslavia · 05/09/2021 20:50

Repaint them with nail polish and then when it's still wet, rub it off with a cotton wool pad and the polish underneath it will also come off!

TheRebelle · 05/09/2021 20:51

Try putting sun cream on his nails, it always seems to strip my nail varnish off when I don’t want it to.

QueenofKattegat · 05/09/2021 20:54

Lol, no, he isn’t

What a ridiculous comment. You must inhabit a very sad little world.

ISpyCobraKai · 05/09/2021 20:57

@MrsSkylerWhite.
I had one of those too.
The number of people who said 'well I'd just them a look'.
Sure, didn't work with Dd, nothing did, if she didn't want to go, she wasn't going.
It was a lot calmer, and she went a lot more when I accepted that.

MrsMiddleMother · 05/09/2021 21:16

Supermarkets open at 7am, go first thing and get remover then take him to college.

ByGrabtharsHammerWhatASavings · 05/09/2021 21:26

If you've got any insect repellant then that might work. I remember putting deet on once and my nail polish melted off my hands about 30 seconds later. But to echo everyone else, it's very unlikely that a boy wearing nail polish is going to get teased or bullied at college in 2021. In secondary school, perhaps, but at college? I'd be surprised. There were lots of boys in various forms of make up at my rural college 15 years ago and I never saw or heard of them getting grief for it.

EatYourVegetables · 05/09/2021 21:41

At the age of 16, if he put it on it’s his problem. There are solutions: finding a 24h supermarket tonight, a coop tomorrow early, texting all his friends and asking who has remover to lend him, or scrapping it off on flakes. But those are not up to you - it’s his problem to solve.

(I’d feel differently if he was younger.)

Antinerak · 05/09/2021 21:45

I promise you he won't get bullied for having painted nails. 50 years ago it was very different but now nail polish on boys is a normal teenage thing. People won't know he's bi because of them.

BUT if he is that uncomfortable with it he or you can nip to tesco before college in the morning and get some nail polish remover.

CoastalSwimmer · 05/09/2021 21:49

Surely you or he could nip out to a supermarket or 24 hour chemist to get some varnish remover, either tonight or tomorrow morning?

HalzTangz · 05/09/2021 21:50

Send him to the local shop for nail varnish remover, or ask a neighbour if they have some

Poppins2016 · 05/09/2021 21:55

@Hugoslavia

Repaint them with nail polish and then when it's still wet, rub it off with a cotton wool pad and the polish underneath it will also come off!
I was about to post exactly this... I do the same thing in a 'no nail varnish remover' emergency. Works every time.
Danikm151 · 05/09/2021 21:55

Paint nails and immediately wipe off before it is dry, should pull off the varnish underneath then buff with a nail file

Blindleadingtheblind · 05/09/2021 21:57

Honestly college kids wont give a shit. I know blokes who wore make up and nail polish at college and people just thought they were cool. No one would bat an eyelid at nail polish. Relax.

fluffythedragonslayer · 05/09/2021 22:01

I don't think he will be bullied st all, in fact I think it is likely to make people think he's quite cool and confident in himself. However if he is nervous about it, help him sort it. It's a symptom of a bigger picture here I reckon.

jimmyhill · 05/09/2021 22:05

None of this is remotely about whether he'll ACTUALLY get bullied for having painted nails! (He might he might not, depends on area and college and what colour his nails are and what kind of kids he meets on the day)

It's about the fact that either he fears he will or he's using it as excuse for school refusal.

spotcheck · 05/09/2021 22:08

@GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal

At 6th form college in 2021?! No one's going to give a shit that he's got painted nails!!
Agreed
allthegoodusernameshavegone · 05/09/2021 22:22

Totally agree with GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal

plodalong12 · 05/09/2021 22:28

I think a lot of people commenting here are forgetting they are commenting through the eyes of an adult with hindsight, and not through the eyes of a 16 year old child attending their very first day of college…

VladmirsPoutine · 05/09/2021 22:28

I don't think in this day and age any teen would really care. They all have a gazillion different identities, their boyfriends have girlfriends who have non-binary and neutral friends. It's really not an issue for them imho.