I have a CF

[Nixandwotsit]

Never thought it would happen to me... a couple of weeks ago a lady came to my yard where I keep my 3 horses to collect a free item I'd offered on FB. She brought two little girls with her... and of course they were ecstatic to stroke ponies. They were also quite shrill LOL! I had to steer them towards the most easy going pony because one of mine isn't all that tolerant, another is poorly so not feeling friendly, but the pony lapped it up. It was a tense time for me to be honest. I put the big intolerant horse in a stable. I had to keep dragging them away from poorly old horse. Made pointed comments about time to go and walked to their car so they had to follow me.
As they were going the kids started talking about coming back... one was asking about coming to ride... Mum was saying maybe they could come brush and give them carrots. I told them they aren't really that sort of horses, not completely easy going. I didn't have insurance to cover children visiting. If you gave the pony carrots you could cause him to get ill (lamminitis). I was very polite.

Yesterday I arrived at the yard, saw a car parked outside. Go to the front and find the three of them on the yard - where my 3 nags are free roaming, screeching, patting, all very excited. Intolerant horse is being a saint thank goodness, poorly horse is looking miserable and trying to hide in a corner. I was nice, but I told Mum that they absolutely can't come and visit alone and actually, I'd rather not have regular visitors. I repeated the bit about insurance and added that the weekends at my yard are my "quiet time" and I like it that way. I have no idea if they'd fed carrots - mum said not.
Today - I'm sat on the yard with a cuppa, surrounded by my herd. I hear a car pull up and who should appear around the stables? The three of them plus dad.
I'm quite assertive so I stood up and as dad was opening the gate I walked towards them with my hand out in a stop gesture and said "No!". Carried on walking through the gate and stood between them and it. Told them that I have a sick horse, I have a horse that isn't particularly kind, I do not have insurance and they are trespassing. Dad was loud - accusing me of spoiling the girls' day - they weren't doing any harm. I just kept repeating "please leave" and they did with many passive aggressive comments between them and little girls wailing.
Tonight on the local FB group - a pointed post about the joys of being in the countryside, how wonderful it is when kind people welcome children who love animals. You get the picture.
I am so not being unreasonable, but I thought it might amuse you all. They'll get a shock, I'm moving to a new yard on Wednesday.

Jesus, people never cease to amaze me. Well done for not tolerating them but you certainly shouldn't have had to tell them so forcibly. Talk about not taking a very clear hint!! Morons, absolute morons.

That is astonishing. What absolute twats. And I imagine the types to get very arsey if one of the kids got bitten / kicked.

If they make promises to their kids on other people's property, I'd be very tempted to loudly and brightly proclaim to the kids "great news! Your parents are going to sell their car so they can buy you a pony of your very own, and you can pet it every day then!" I'm so lucky that my fields are tucked right away as my elderly mare could and would do a lot of damage if scared, and my shetland would be straight back at the vets having thousands of pounds worth of treatment for colic and laminitis after gobbling up any and all food on offer.

OP, you know you have to ask the new tenants for updates, right, and to report back when the family rock up again to find your nice, gentle horses have been replaced by tall, highly strung eventers?

I'm interested to know what the 1% who think YABU think you should have done!

@WaverleyOwl

I'm interested to know what the 1% who think YABU think you should have done!

They likely pressed the wrong button and don't realise you can change.

Or they actually do think op should have let the kids in to pet the pretty ponies, but are too afraid to justify it, knowing deep down they are stupid.

Some people are just beyond belief aren't they? Totally ignoring what is clearly stated & doing what they want regardless.
Displaying a terrible example to their children also!

Near me an old bingo hall is being demolished. Let’s say my children were interested in this, diggers etc.

I’d never dream of going onto the site and asking for a ride on a digger or asking for one for my children.

Even less likely would I turn up later, wander round the site playing on them and letting my children climb. And then giving the workers grief when they turn down my request/expectation.

I’m not a horse expert - but do know that they can kick. I understand that they have different personalities and might react unpredictably.

Quite frankly they would be the first to complain when there is an accident. I tried to look after my children carefully, not expose then to unpredictable risks.

Definitely the type of Cf's who open their windows at safari parks and hold their toddlers over fences and enclosures at zoos.

Why do people find it so hard to respect boundaries, others property and animals?

"Our" yard/farm had a footpath that passed through it - between a big barn and small post-and-rail. The main field was totally accessible as the track (drive, rear entrance - about half a mile long) came alongside, and was used for many many walkers (including the Ramblers).

There were up to 33 horses and ponies there - perfectly visible, in the big barn, a Dutch barn/crew yard, and of course, the fields- including my daughter's (grumpy) miniature and two of the prettiest skewbald Shetlands. Ever year, a foal or three.....
And yet, most people didn't touch - and walked straight past. There was a time when I had something of a fan club and (I think) 10 year-olds were showing up wanting to learn ---- until 1) they realised the hard work for so little "reward" (none of the horses were suitable for them to ride), and 2) I asked their parents to look into insurance cover....

Also the none-too friendly goose couple (Wanda and Plod) kept most people at bay!

I used to live on a small holding with horses in the field around the house, which had a gate onto the road as well as gate onto the property.

I frequently had to chase off CFs who would lift their children over the gate into the field to "stroke the ponies". One of said "ponies" was the grumpiest Arab mare in history who liked kicking people in the chest. And still they would rail at me about what a selfish girl I was, how I was so mean not share my good pony-owning fortune with poor ponyless children, how they weren't doing any harm and I should stop being "uptight". Strongly worded signs on the gate did no good at all. It all got a bit much when she had a foal, which sent the ponyless children into a frenzy, and made her even more grouchy and protective, and I had to electric fence them away from the road access. I figured anyone climbing in and touching the electric fence would probably only do it once...

@PineappleWilson

OP, you know you have to ask the new tenants for updates, right, and to report back when the family rock up again to find your nice, gentle horses have been replaced by tall, highly strung eventers?

I don't like the new people much, but maybe I will have to keep a friendly face on to see what happens.

These are the type of people you attract when you offer things online for free!

Thank fuck you're moving, it pisses me right off when people take it upon themselves to feed other people's animals.

I have a horse and have had any number of "friends" asking if they can bring their small child up to ride/pet her - they are not deterred even when I tell them there is a high chance their child could end up injured or even dead (my horse is quite highly strung). I like to tell them the story of when my little girl got trampled in the field once in a freak accident (luckily she was fine) to put them off. I direct them to the nearest riding school and they say its too expensive - meaning I should let them come to my yard, take up my time and ride my horse for free?? Cheeky fuckers all of them!

I've been known to come over all "get orf my land!" at idiots gawping at my horses and letting their kids climb on the gate and swing bags of carrots at them. I'm usually quite zen and friendly with the locals, but this sort of thing just makes me see red - loose horses are bloody dangerous, even if you stay on the right side of the fence and don't feed them. And even if they weren't, I don't want random bloody kids swinging on my gate and screwing it over...

I dint understand why you are responsible for baking some unknown children happy? ‘Spoiled there after II !’ Yeah who gives a crap.

@RiderGirl

I have a horse and have had any number of "friends" asking if they can bring their small child up to ride/pet her - they are not deterred even when I tell them there is a high chance their child could end up injured or even dead (my horse is quite highly strung). I like to tell them the story of when my little girl got trampled in the field once in a freak accident (luckily she was fine) to put them off. I direct them to the nearest riding school and they say its too expensive - meaning I should let them come to my yard, take up my time and ride my horse for free?? Cheeky fuckers all of them!

Gotta love a CF who always finds stuff "too expensive" when they are presented with the horror of using their own money - but are perfectly content to take a free ride (sic) when other people are funding the expense.

"I don't want to pay £40 for a riding lesson, so your time & overhead costs must be given to me for nothing. Also, your event horse is clearly suitable for my unathletic & cloth-eared child to learn on. Don't be so mean! Where's the harm? You were paying for that horse anyway, what's the skin off your nose?"

@Nixandwotsit

I recently signed a petition to put speed reduction measures in on the roads in the New Forest. They would make a fortune out of speed cameras... speed limits are ignored. All over the New Forest there are signs saying not to feed the ponies, that are completely ignored by many. Apart from the risk to their health, and the danger to humans, feeding the ponies attracts them to roads and cars. Ponies and donkeys regularly die on the roads and yet people still carry on with their selfish and dangerous behaviour. It's beyond belief. The countryside is beautiful but it's not a theme park.

I was going to post something similar. Unfortunately, it's not just tourists as locals (who should know better) often dump their grass cuttings in the Forest. And don't forget the parents who put their child on top of the ponies. They think the Forest is one big petting zoo.

@Closetbeanmuncher

These are the type of people you attract when you offer things online for free!

Thank fuck you're moving, it pisses me right off when people take it upon themselves to feed other people's animals.

It really isn't. We have a very good things for free village FB group and everyone I've met through that has been lovely. This family are just your average family, the village is slightly up-market housing so I guess it's quite an affluent area. I don't qualify as affluent in my little place, spending most of my money on the horses.

Jeez. Some people just have no idea about social (and this case, physical!) boundaries. I used to have 11 horses & ponies and a flock of pet sheep: attrition due to age or illness over the years, I'm now down to 2 horses and the dogs and cats. I've been asked why I won't consider renting some land for grazing ... because, like you said about your quiet time & liking it that way, I like my bloomin' privacy. If you're not already a member, come and join the private FB group Shiteventersunite - you'll have a lot of fun and probably hear about a lot more CF'ery!

I'll warn the people taking my place over, their horses are huge and highly strung eventers!

Trouble is, they will be the sorts that if the huge, highly strung eventer bites or kicks their little darlings, there will be hell to pay for the poor owners, even if they have asked the self entitled CFs not to touch the animals!!!

A fit horse kicking out could kill a child.

I have been that child. I desperately wanted to help with the horses and ponies at a local yard. I asked several times and was quite shocked when the woman who owned it eventually got angry with me and told me I was not allowed to help now or ever.
Though I will say that if my parents had known about me acting like that they for sure would have told me off for bothering her and might have even grounded me.

Obviously YANBU: we all agree with you...but it is the first time I have ever seen a poll with a 100% in one column! Very satisfying! Apparently the shrill mum and her friends aren't on Mumsnet 😂

@BronwenFrideswide

I'll warn the people taking my place over, their horses are huge and highly strung eventers!

That will be a shock to the CF's!

And this type of CF (“the countryside is my personal theme park”) are the first to get all litigious when they get hurt.

Cheeky gits