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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I have a CF

164 replies

Nixandwotsit · 05/09/2021 19:31

Never thought it would happen to me... a couple of weeks ago a lady came to my yard where I keep my 3 horses to collect a free item I'd offered on FB. She brought two little girls with her... and of course they were ecstatic to stroke ponies. They were also quite shrill LOL! I had to steer them towards the most easy going pony because one of mine isn't all that tolerant, another is poorly so not feeling friendly, but the pony lapped it up. It was a tense time for me to be honest. I put the big intolerant horse in a stable. I had to keep dragging them away from poorly old horse. Made pointed comments about time to go and walked to their car so they had to follow me.
As they were going the kids started talking about coming back... one was asking about coming to ride... Mum was saying maybe they could come brush and give them carrots. I told them they aren't really that sort of horses, not completely easy going. I didn't have insurance to cover children visiting. If you gave the pony carrots you could cause him to get ill (lamminitis). I was very polite.

Yesterday I arrived at the yard, saw a car parked outside. Go to the front and find the three of them on the yard - where my 3 nags are free roaming, screeching, patting, all very excited. Intolerant horse is being a saint thank goodness, poorly horse is looking miserable and trying to hide in a corner. I was nice, but I told Mum that they absolutely can't come and visit alone and actually, I'd rather not have regular visitors. I repeated the bit about insurance and added that the weekends at my yard are my "quiet time" and I like it that way. I have no idea if they'd fed carrots - mum said not.
Today - I'm sat on the yard with a cuppa, surrounded by my herd. I hear a car pull up and who should appear around the stables? The three of them plus dad.
I'm quite assertive so I stood up and as dad was opening the gate I walked towards them with my hand out in a stop gesture and said "No!". Carried on walking through the gate and stood between them and it. Told them that I have a sick horse, I have a horse that isn't particularly kind, I do not have insurance and they are trespassing. Dad was loud - accusing me of spoiling the girls' day - they weren't doing any harm. I just kept repeating "please leave" and they did with many passive aggressive comments between them and little girls wailing.
Tonight on the local FB group - a pointed post about the joys of being in the countryside, how wonderful it is when kind people welcome children who love animals. You get the picture.
I am so not being unreasonable, but I thought it might amuse you all. They'll get a shock, I'm moving to a new yard on Wednesday.

OP posts:
ChargingBuck · 05/09/2021 20:28

Dad was loud - accusing me of spoiling the girls' day - they weren't doing any harm.

Gobsmacking!

As you are moving yard & won't need to encounter these fuckers again, if you gave in to the temptation to tell it like it is on the Faceache post, nobody would blame you ...

Mummyoflittledragon · 05/09/2021 20:30

Idiots. I’m glad you’re moving. I think posting a link to the article Soubriquet posted with a photograph of the little girl’s face would be a good idea. Cheeky fuckers are clueless about the dangers of other animals. I have had the same issues with my dogs when I’ve been on walks. If around little kids, I have them on the lead. Parents let them approach the dogs without asking and one little girl went up to my nervous one, arms round his neck and face nuzzled in his neck. Thank god he didn’t react. But he wasn’t happy. I didn’t dare react in case it startled him and he accidentally hurt her as she can’t have been more than 3.

Muminabun · 05/09/2021 20:34

Our ponies field is next to a busy footpath. Would dread a child getting in to feed them. Horses can fight over food and they move bloody quickly. A child could get caught by a kick meant for another pony. Ponies are also happy to barge past people to get to the food. Some horses are not well handled, young projects etc and some can even be territorial and actually go for people if they get fed up. The nicest pony in the world can also get spooked and bolt and flatten anyone in the way.

KateTheEighth · 05/09/2021 20:38

Blimey!

That's incredible CFery!

EastWestWhosBest · 05/09/2021 20:41

Some people seem to think that the countryside is a theme park and there for their entertainment.

(See also the threads where people say they are glad they summer holidays have come to an end and the tourists will bugger off, then the responses are that locals were happy to take their money like tourism is the only industry in the country)

everythingbutthesink · 05/09/2021 20:48

How can someone be so cheeky to do that? Oh gosh people have no boundary's anymore. But I'd leave a sign up and say
🖕🏼 Iv moved dickheads
And enjoy your peace ! You didn't deserve that abuse from the dad. Hope your ok c

BakedTattie · 05/09/2021 20:53

I would go fucking mental if this happened on my yard. My boy has EMS. Ive got signs all over the place saying NOT to feed him anything but still I get absolute idiots pulling up handfuls of grass and feeding him.

Not only has he now started biting, but he’s had laminitis this summer and put on a shit load of weight.

Do people not realise that you can kill horses by feeding Them?!

anon12345678901 · 05/09/2021 20:55

Wow, some people are unbelievable. I don't own horses but it always seems like some people think if a horse is in a field, then they have a right to pet them , feed them etc. Not thinking these are peoples pets. Horses can be dangerous animals, I know of a friend who got in between her own horses and they accidentally broke her collarbone not to mention they can kick out. I bet if the CF children were injured they'd be quick to blame you!

Theworldishard · 05/09/2021 20:57

Omg that is shocking! Wtf is wrong with people

Cherrysoup · 05/09/2021 20:57

I hate the ‘tourists’ that turn up at the yard. It’s private, no you can’t ‘just come and feed the horses’, it’s not a petting farm, you might make them really sick. Drives me nuts. I pay a lot of money to have a horse, I don’t want some randomer scaring him, feeding him, getting hit because they don’t know how to behave around him.

CatMandarin · 05/09/2021 20:58

They sound quite dim to keep turning up like that when you've clearly told them not to

StopGo · 05/09/2021 21:02

@Soubriquet

Christ. That isn’t just CF, that’s just rude

I would put this on their fb post.

Horses are not giant fluffy puppies. They have the potential to do real damage

That happened just up the road from us. Previously a young child was actually killed.
HarrisMcCoo · 05/09/2021 21:04

Thanks Soubriquet for explaining 👍😂

Redruby2020 · 05/09/2021 21:05

What did they think loll it was a free day out 🤦‍♀️🙄 what a cheek, I hate pushy people like that.

SmokeyDevil · 05/09/2021 21:06

Some people are just thick. Was at an event a couple of years ago and the horses were getting quite close to the 'fence' (a bit of rope on a stick), and the stewards asked parents to move their kids back to avoid getting hurt. Parents refused. Hmm Highly stupid, careless and thoughtless. No no dont get your kid back from the rope to avoid your precious kid being kicked in the head, just because you don't want to deal with the tantrum. They would instantly complain if their kids got hurt, even when it's their own fault.

Hugoslavia · 05/09/2021 21:08

I'd be tempted to put up a large official looking sign warning of reported cases of foot and mouth, T.B, Anthrax or Mad Horse Disease. It doesn't matter what really, just make something rather scary and official looking up, along with directions for contacting a bogus Department for Cheeky Fuckery if they have been in contact with any horses in the yard. I would produce a list of symptoms to watch out for, including incessant itching. Of course that alone will make them start to scratch!

DarkDarkNight · 05/09/2021 21:15

Oh she sounds unhinged! Who would think it acceptable to come back to a private yard like it’s a petting farm? I’m glad you were assertive and didn’t let the parents walk all over you.

plominoagain · 05/09/2021 21:16

So not surprised. We have had people picnicking in our fields , nowhere near a public path , that they have had to climb over post and rail and three strand electric fencing , to stroke the horses . One of which is 43 and downright bloody cantankerous ( she’s 43, she can be whatever she likes ) and is likely to run at you with her jaws open if she thinks you might feed her . Then complained because I told them to go away with words and gestures

FangsForTheMemory · 05/09/2021 21:19

Jeez. Apart from anything else, people who obviously don't know how dangerous horses can be are an absolute liability. They are NOT cuddly toys.

I hope they think you've moved yards because of them!

BrightYellowDaffodil · 05/09/2021 21:22

Sadly it doesn't surprise me. Once had an older lady turn up at the yard with her grand-daughter. Walked right onto the yard from the footpath with a big bag of carrots and fed all the horses over the doors. I explained that she couldn't do that because one was on a special diet (laminitis, but I didn't go into the detail) and we didn't want the others fed in case it made them snappy, and one could be snappy anyway. They disappeared.

Walked round the corner to the other part of the yard and there they were, feeding the other block of horses! I was done with being nice by that point and told them to get off private property before I called the farm owner. Well, I was a "stuck up cow" and "people like me" were "ruining my grand-daughters day" because "we're not doing any harm" when I had already explained that they WERE. They never came back but the entitlement was quite something else.

EastWestWhosBest · 05/09/2021 21:25

@Cherrysoup

I hate the ‘tourists’ that turn up at the yard. It’s private, no you can’t ‘just come and feed the horses’, it’s not a petting farm, you might make them really sick. Drives me nuts. I pay a lot of money to have a horse, I don’t want some randomer scaring him, feeding him, getting hit because they don’t know how to behave around him.
And if you put up signs saying to sod off or complain then you’ll be accused of being unfriendly to tourists.
PenguinWings · 05/09/2021 21:30

It doesn't really sound as if they were tourists if they originally met up through a Facebook giving group.

Original poster
Nixandwotsit · 05/09/2021 21:36

@PenguinWings

It doesn't really sound as if they were tourists if they originally met up through a Facebook giving group.
No, these aren't tourists, they are locals and therefore I could still bump into them in the village where I live! I honestly can't imagine why I got two return visits. I think the first time with mum and kids they probably came looking to see if I was there and just went in. Maybe the second time they thought that bringing dad would have some sort of influence? It didn't bother me, I just experienced that sort of light headed feeling that happens when you're really, really getting mad.
OP posts:
Sarahlou63 · 05/09/2021 21:44

I had a similar situation - until the day the family turned up (mum, dad, kids, grandparents and assorted others) to see a horse having major dental treatment...head suspended, blood flying everywhere and vet freely swearing as he wrestled with the impacted tooth.

They never came back Grin

(and the horse was fine!)

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