Do you forget to reply to messages?

[AlmostAlwyn]

I don't ever forget to reply to someone if they've sent me a message. I just don't. I really don't understand how it happens. Are people so really busy that they can't fit in 30 seconds to reply to a message?

My brothers do this, but most recently a friend has just not replied to my last couple of messages. I don't live in my home town but am back visiting my parents. A while ago, I sent her a message saying I'd be back on X dates. She replied saying it would be great to see you, usually free on this day, etc. Then recently I sent another message suggesting a specific day and just... nothing. It's been read though!

Has she just forgotten? Does she hate me? She lives about 40 minutes away from my home town by car and when I was out running the other day, I passed her in the park so she's not comatose or anything.

Do I message her again, light and breezy? Should I say I saw her in the park? Just not message her at all because she's obviously not that fussed about meeting me?

Help!

Always forget here, if anybody needs me ring the phone!

@ThatSunnyCorner

I forget, or if it's nothing important, may not reply for a few days. It's nothing about the other person, I just don't like being beholden to my phone.

Yeah that too!

Yep, forget ALL the time! Yeah just message again, also if she says I’m not free then it also doesn’t mean she hates you - people just have stuff going on, it’s very unlikely to be a deliberate slight

@standupsitdownturnaround

I forget all the time and my favourite friends are the ones who don't mind.

This. I’m terrible for replying and would be friendless by now if everyone minded. I just can’t stand being always on - I feel like between emails, texts, social media etc. there is always someone/something requiring an answer and I would be in a perpetually reactive state if I jumped every time someone messaged me.

I also have a personal commitment never to be offended by anyone else’s radio silence either!

I try to avoid using my phone all day, because I hate the design of them that is literally intended to follow addiction patterns through notifications.

So yes, sometimes I accidentally pick up a message during the day, and forget it later. But I think that's healthier than being attached to your phone like a spare limb.

I forget. I don't mean to. I see the message and fully intend to reply later but then stuff happens and time passes and by the time I have a moment I've completely forgotten. Also when people use FB messenger I don't get notifications so I don't always spot those messages.

I'm terrible at replying. I've got an 8 month old and a 20 month old, neither sleep through the night. My eldest is under consultant care for a recurrent illness. My mum has cancer. I work full time shifts (with no regular shift pattern). I'm constantly effing exhausted. If you don't get an immediate reply then chances are you won't get a reply til you message me again. I don't intentionally mean to be ignorant and if I organise a date with someone I'll definitely keep to it. Otherwise I'm just trying to make it through the day. I'm running on less than empty, I just don't like to tell people.

Quite often I think about replying and what I am going to say, and wait until I have time, and then forget that I haven’t actually replied, only thought about it!

Sometimes. I'm usually pondering what to reply and DD starts a meltdown so I might be dealing with that for an hour and then forget.

I do. I have some needy friends who reply instantly to your messages and then you’re stuck in a shitty cycle of having a long winded text conversation you could really do without. I hate texting back and forth so try to avoid it at all costs. That means I sometimes forget to reply to a message when I’m trying to avoid a conversation with a needy texter and then it slips my mind.

I tend not to. I keep my diary everything on my phone so able to confirm available times etc. If it is something I need to research before I reply I tend to put a reminder on the phone to reply. I hate phonecalls though so there is a very good chance I will not return your call unless you leave a voicemail.

Thanks everyone for the replies! She probably does have a lot on her plate right now! I've messaged again and if she doesn't reply, she doesn't reply. I'll try again when we're visiting next!

I'm used to keeping in sporadic contact with my friends from home. Living away, I don't see everyone regularly so when I'm back, it's nice to catch up! If we can find a time that suits us both!

Anyway, I'll cut my friend some slack. Not sure I'll do the same for my brothers quite yet