Do you forget to reply to messages?

[AlmostAlwyn]

I don't ever forget to reply to someone if they've sent me a message. I just don't. I really don't understand how it happens. Are people so really busy that they can't fit in 30 seconds to reply to a message?

My brothers do this, but most recently a friend has just not replied to my last couple of messages. I don't live in my home town but am back visiting my parents. A while ago, I sent her a message saying I'd be back on X dates. She replied saying it would be great to see you, usually free on this day, etc. Then recently I sent another message suggesting a specific day and just... nothing. It's been read though!

Has she just forgotten? Does she hate me? She lives about 40 minutes away from my home town by car and when I was out running the other day, I passed her in the park so she's not comatose or anything.

Do I message her again, light and breezy? Should I say I saw her in the park? Just not message her at all because she's obviously not that fussed about meeting me?

Help!

All the time. I’ll see and read a message when I’m out walking the dog or at work or getting into the shower and I think “I’ll reply to that in a minute” and I don’t. Or I read it at an unsociable hour and think I’ll do it later and I forget.

I forget all the time, but have a memory problem.

If it's doziness on her part, then as long as it's not always you doing the running then best to overlook it. If it's always you making the effort, then stop.

It's not about just being busy. My GC are at the age were they scrap, 6&4. They aren't always easy to manage, especially outside crossing roads on scooters etc. I hate the need to instantly reply. I see my DD doing it and the children's faces fall when they are mid something. She might not be sure about what she was doing. I'd just put that you saw her and she's looking well, make it positive.

I do, I can see a message whilst I’m in the middle of something else and plan a reply but forget to actually send it. In my head I’ve already replied and I completely forget about it.

Just ring her if you want an answer. It can be really hard to get across tone in a typed message so if she wants to decline politely it’s much easier to do verbally.

Why not message saying ‘Hi! I spotted you from a distance the other day when I was out running and it reminded me we haven’t sorted out our catch-up! When’s good for you?’

No need to mention that she hadn’t replied; no pressure. If she did just forget, she’ll probably reply saying so. If she doesn’t reply again, you can probably file her under the heading ‘Flake’ for a while.

I sometimes forget. I'll receive a message and read it however I'm busy and think 'oh, I'll reply tonight'. But then tonight comes and I completely forget.

I'm hopeless, I swipe my notifications off when they come up and forget to check WhatsApp and texts.

I usually remember when dh asks if I saw the message from one of our parents or siblings in group chats.

All of the time.

I find that I reply immediately to people I see regularly because usually there's no particular thought needed in the reply . If it's a friend or relative I don't see very often then the reply will take longer as I would be updating on what I've been doing , or checking my calendar for suitable time to meet. I always plan to reply in the evening when I'm sitting down but quite often forget . Likewise when I mean to instigate a message or call to someone I haven't seen for a while .

I do this to literally everyone, even sometimes my boyfriend. They do it to me too. You get a message and it needs a long response or you need to check something before going back and you forget. Or I often find the people I do this to the most are people who spam me at work (one friend in particular) and I take ages to get around to opening their messages. Clients pay £300 an hour for me so I am not replying during work meetings. Gets a bit on top of you at times.

All the time. I never used to, but my phone seems to be always going off these days, and it’s no longer uncommon for me to read something, fully intend to reply, and forget.

It’s nothing personal, at all. There’s just a lot on, and so many distractions. I feel like I’m running at 98% of capacity; and so some stuff has to wait… previously I tried to always reply as soon as I saw a message, but it made life so stressful, and really impacted on productivity.

There’s also probably an element on how many messages from how many different people we all get now, too. It used to be mostly friends on my personal phone, and DH.

Today alone I’ve had both of my in-laws, DH, 3 different friends, 2 groups that I’m in and my midwife. Tomorrow it’ll likely be the same, but with a few work contacts mixed in, our estate agent, our solicitor, clients.

Never.

I do. It has more to do with anxiety. I can feel fine but when I just can't face replying to someone right away it's the first sign that I'm slipping.

All the time. Sometimes I’ll even start typing a reply and then get distracted and forget. But then my brain thinks I’ve replied so then I forget for even longer. My friends often forget as well it’s not personal.

Pre baby I never forgot but now I do all the time.

Yes I do all the time. I often open a message whilst in the middle of something and think I'll reply later and sometimes I do genuinely forget. Nothing malicious.

I forget all the time.

I do forget actually. And no I don't hate those I forgot to reply to.
I have a 14 month old DS, no family around to help, and I'm writing my master dissertation. My husband and I are pulling together to parent, clean and tidy house, DH works full time, and I'm up late doing my dissertation. DS has had days of awful teething recently.
It doesn't "just take me 30 seconds" to respond. Because when I pick up my phone, I very often have 22 messages in 4 chats and suddenly replying to my messages can turn into a 30 minute Job. 30 minutes which I need right now.

I have however apologised to all friends and let them know clearly that I'm just really overwhelmed right now and it takes me forever to reply but it doesn't mean I don't want to hear about them. They have all been very understanding

I forget all the time because I see the message at the time, think I need to consider what to say back and then forget to go back to it. It's like my brain already ticked it off as done when I saw it but didn't do the task iyswim. Also type a message send doesn't press and I see it sat there - often when I'm checking why they haven't replied!

I do reply, but mostly not instantly. If I'm busy I tend to read my messages late evening, and then reply. If not busy I'll reply within the hour.

People remember and prioritize who and what they want to. Thats the bottom line.

Yes all the time. Like a pp I might miss notifications completely or it's a message I need to think about but then get side tracked. I'm not allowed to use my phone at work but would be able to read a message- once I leave it's a huge rush to pick up dc, get them to all their clubs, get them home and fed and to bed by which time I still have all the clearing up to do etc. Mornings start at 6 am and it's the same cycle. Very easy to forget.

I sometimes forget and I sometimes just find it incredibly difficult to make myself reply, especially if I know that I have already been a bit slow. It can feel like an insurmountable hurdle, even if I really like the person and want to see them etc.

That sounds ridiculous when I write it down, but I think it's an executive function problem...I strongly suspect undiagnosed adhd.

I do. Sometimes I can get double digit calls and messages (that’s double digits of both) from certain people. I can’t keep up - and it’s bloody stressful. So sometimes I just forget.

All the time