Do you forget to reply to messages?

[AlmostAlwyn]

I don't ever forget to reply to someone if they've sent me a message. I just don't. I really don't understand how it happens. Are people so really busy that they can't fit in 30 seconds to reply to a message?

My brothers do this, but most recently a friend has just not replied to my last couple of messages. I don't live in my home town but am back visiting my parents. A while ago, I sent her a message saying I'd be back on X dates. She replied saying it would be great to see you, usually free on this day, etc. Then recently I sent another message suggesting a specific day and just... nothing. It's been read though!

Has she just forgotten? Does she hate me? She lives about 40 minutes away from my home town by car and when I was out running the other day, I passed her in the park so she's not comatose or anything.

Do I message her again, light and breezy? Should I say I saw her in the park? Just not message her at all because she's obviously not that fussed about meeting me?

Help!

@AlexaShutUp i can relate to that. The longer you leave it the harder it seems to reply. Like it's gone past the stage of being acceptable

[quote liveforsummer]@AlexaShutUp i can relate to that. The longer you leave it the harder it seems to reply. Like it's gone past the stage of being acceptable [/quote]
Yes exactly. Glad it's not just me.

yes all the time, and my friends do too. if its to make arrangements then i would send a reminder but only one because disasters and emergencies happen and you don't know if the person who has read your message is sitting in a and e or dealing with a burst pipe or whatever.

Yes I do but I have a habit of swiping off notifications before I looked what they actually are.

Yes, all the time. Particularly the ones where it will be a long chatty response, rather than a ‘yes that’s fine, see you at 2pm’ sort of response.

Usually it’s because I get them at a time when I can’t respond and then it just slips my mind.

I often read a message but then something comes up that I have to sort out, sometimes even get half way through writing a reply, and then completely forget about it. It might be a phone call, something to do with the kids, dh talking to me, someone at the door, the washer finishing, anything, and everything else just falls out of my head. I lose focus easily though and am easily distracted.

All the time. But unless I miss it all together it's just because it's not that important to me. Sorry.

Quite a lot, but I usually reply within a week if it's not something urgent. I have a busy life which requires rigorous organisation, compartmentalisation and complete focus for certain periods so although a message may only take 30 seconds, responding takes me out of whatever headspace I was in so I avoid doing so until I find a dedicated slot to reply to all outstanding messages.

My closest friends understand though - am good in other ways, arranging catch-ups, remembering birthdays and hard times, never flaking on an engagement etc.

Yes I do. How long ago did you send the message asking about that particular day? Could it be she’s checking she’s free and then getting back to you?

It can take ages for me to reply, I have dc always driving, need to be sat down and check the diary before confirming anything etc etc. It is not you, it is me. Kind of thing. I am too busy often to reply and will do so when I can.

Those expecting instant replies are always disappointed/cross/offended but honestly I don't care. I sometimes get buried particularly with WA and lose track of them. People need to reset their expectations. Not everyone is sat there waiting for messages to ping up, diary at the ready. Logistics are not simple with dc either.

Call her op, that will get a guaranteed fast response.

I forget all the time. I also often struggle to remember wh were the message was on my phone. If I read it when busy and cannot respond, it will often come back to me at other times that I cannot respond but when I am not busy, I forget.🙁🙁

I didn’t forget when I was younger but now that I’m juggling working full time with a toddler, trying to run a house and trying to sort everything that urgently needed my attention weeks ago I forget constantly.

Yes, sometimes. But also sometimes I just don't feel like replying to messages straight away so will leave it a few days. I don't expect instant replies from friends unless it's something completely urgent.

Sorry, I saw your message earlier and meant to reply but got distracted by a cat in the garden, it was just staring at the bottom of the hedge.
Anyway what was your question?

Yep sorry always forget. So many people want a piece of me all the time and it’s exhausting. I put my phone down for evenings now. That said, if I was making plans with someone I wanted to see I’d make the effort to reply.

I much preferred the days when I would go and knock for my mates after school and if they weren’t in that was that. No drama.

I forget, I always apologise but usually it's that I've meant to reply and work or my child has interrupted, then it slips my mind. I usually remember a few days later

I usually reply straight away as otherwise I forget. If I get distracted it can be ages before I remember.
Why can't you call your friend?

I constantly forget. If I don't reply immediately (and often I couldn't even if I wanted to) then there's a strong likelihood I'll forget. I receive so many messages (mostly not personal ones) that I sometimes need to scroll through to see what I haven't replied to, and that can often be a few days later. And messages from friends will certainly be among them as they are inevitably less urgent than many of the others and so I don't give them the same attention. I don't think it means I don't care, it just means that I'm busy and a bit forgetful.

Yes I forget. I read messages through my lock screen but leave them “unread” until it’s convenient for me to reply.

No I never ever forget, and find people who do a bit irritating. At the end of the day it usually means I'm a low priority for them so they don't get a lot of my attention as a result.

But then I can't stand disorganised people. I'm the sort of person who is never late, doesn't forget things etc, I understand everyone is different but it irritates me anyway, I can't help it.

I forget, or if it's nothing important, may not reply for a few days. It's nothing about the other person, I just don't like being beholden to my phone.

Rarely but I don't open messages until I have the time to reply.

I'm quite good with texts/WhatsApp. Emails however...

I do this all the time - and the same scenario. Chatting with friend, would love to meet up, they send a date suggestion, I go away to check with DH, DC sports Clubs, what day was thingys party again, and whilst I’m doing that, Remember that I have to pay fees / buy a present / find football boots / whatever, and then I have to make dinner and after dinner I have to finish the work I couldn’t do because the DC were around - and suddenly it’s two days later and I’ve totally forgotten to check dates - I love my pals and really want to see them, but life is chaotic sometimes- cut her some slack - and just send a cheerful follow up message ‘it would be great to get something in the diary lovely friend, can you confirm what works for you ASAP?’ - this would prompt me to go back to the message…

I forget all the time but also, sometimes it doesnt take thirty seconds. Sometimes it’s an hour long conversation and i just don’t have the all energy to reply to every message i get from everyone, so I put My phone down for s bit and then I catch up later, sometimes days later if other things have taken priority.