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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am i just being petty or would this annoy you?

61 replies

ShakeysGirl · 03/12/2007 13:44

Last week my friend suggested that i should give her a spare key to my house for emergencies as i was complaining that my partner had lost his again and i was fed up of having to wait around to let him in etc. It seemed like a good idea, i would always know where a key was if i got locked out. But since giving her the key she's let herself in 3 times! And i hate it! I like my privacy and the option of not answering the door if i'm busy or in the bath. Its really driving me mad. I'm being petty arn't i?

OP posts:
TheHerdNerd · 03/12/2007 13:46

You are absolutely not being petty - I would flip my noodle if the person we gave a key to let herself in!

You should make it clear that she might have a key, but she does NOT have permission to come in!! That key is for safekeeping only!

Iota · 03/12/2007 13:46

it would certainly annoy me - it's an invasion of your privacy IMHO

cornsilk · 03/12/2007 13:46

cHEEKY MARE! gET THE KEY BACK OFF HER.

WhenFIMBOgotstuckupthechimney · 03/12/2007 13:47

That would drive me nuts too.

Tell her you need the spare key back to make a copy as you have misplaced yours and then just don't let her have it again.

ImmodestRubyRioja · 03/12/2007 13:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ABudafulSightWereHappyTonight · 03/12/2007 13:47

Get the key back! You are not being petty - it's your home!

Iklboo · 03/12/2007 13:47

It's definitly not on. Ask her for it back now

glammama · 03/12/2007 13:47

You are not being petty!! What on earth is she letting herself into your house for? Do you trust her completely? Very strange on her part, it seems to me.

bettythebuilder · 03/12/2007 13:47

No you are not being petty!
It's bang out of order for her to just let herself in. I'd get the key back asap

mollymawk · 03/12/2007 13:48

No, YANBU - your friend is being v cheeky

Tortington · 03/12/2007 13:48

tell her you lost your key - get it back.

moljam · 03/12/2007 13:48

yanbu!!how rude!i agree with ImmodestRubyRioja say you need it back then dont return it.

jelliebelly · 03/12/2007 13:48

YANBU - sounds a bit odd to me - get the key back and tell her why!

catsmother · 03/12/2007 13:49

You're not being petty at all.

She suggested you should give her a key for emergencies and you did, on that understanding.

Have you had 3 emergencies in the meantime ? Hmmm .... thought not.

At best she's being incredibly insensitive and at worst she's been having a good old nosey round while you're not there.

I've had friends' keys and vice versa and it was always so someone had a spare if you lost/forgot your keys, and, on other occasions by specific invitation, like feeding pets, watering plants, or if I was meeting up and running late, saying to let themselves in so they didn't stand in the cold.

She's taking the piss and I'd ask for it back. On what basis did she let herself in ..... did you ask ?

NAB3littlemonkeys · 03/12/2007 13:50

Were you in when she let herself in?

Get the key back now, don't give her any warning as she may get another cut, and say it was for emergencies, not for her to treat your house like her own.

ProjectIcarus · 03/12/2007 13:53

say you need it back because your dp has lost his and keep forgetting to get another cut.

Cheeky bint.

mishymoo · 03/12/2007 13:54

We had this same problem with my IL's - gave them a key as emergency and every time they visited, Wed evening they would come round and just let themselves in. It used to drive me mad and eventually my DH had to tell them not to do it. We moved about 4 or 5 months later and guess what..... we have NEVER given them another key!

TBH, I would ask for the key back and tell her why. If you are not comfortable doing that, then do as other posters have said, i.e. tell her you have lost yours and need to make another.

mishymoo · 03/12/2007 13:56

aarg Wed evening

Original poster
ShakeysGirl · 03/12/2007 13:56

Luckily its been when i've been home, although i wouldn't know if there had been any other times. She's quite bossy and isn't shy on giving her opinion including how messy my house is! She calls me every morning to arrange stuff for us to do that day and sometimes i feel quite pressured. I've known her about a year but only got to know her well over the last few months. I know if i borrow the key back she will nag til its returned. I feel like screaming sometimes, i'm the type that loves my own space.

OP posts:
Crocky · 03/12/2007 13:58

She doesn't sound much like a friend. Least not one that I would hang on to for long.

Lazarou · 03/12/2007 13:59

I once came home to find my male neighbour topless sunbathing in my garden

Original poster
ShakeysGirl · 03/12/2007 14:02

Ironically my best friend who also has a key will sometimes let herself in on a sunday morning and surprise me with a bacon sandwich i don't complain then but i've known her 15 years and we used to live together.

OP posts:
KaySamuels · 03/12/2007 14:02

Get your key back and start screening your calls she sounds like a nightmare! I have a friend who is anally tidy who would never tell me what a shithole mess my house is!

Original poster
ShakeysGirl · 03/12/2007 14:10

I got to know her when i was having problems with my dp and needed a friend to give me a push in the right direction but i feel like a puppet now. I think i may actually be a little scared of her! I'm sure she means well but she's even telling my dp how to live his life and he's getting really annoyed about it. I feel like a stroppy teenager!

OP posts:
NAB3littlemonkeys · 03/12/2007 14:12

Get your key back

Cut her out of your life

Get some balls

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