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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am i just being petty or would this annoy you?

61 replies

ShakeysGirl · 03/12/2007 13:44

Last week my friend suggested that i should give her a spare key to my house for emergencies as i was complaining that my partner had lost his again and i was fed up of having to wait around to let him in etc. It seemed like a good idea, i would always know where a key was if i got locked out. But since giving her the key she's let herself in 3 times! And i hate it! I like my privacy and the option of not answering the door if i'm busy or in the bath. Its really driving me mad. I'm being petty arn't i?

OP posts:
lou33 · 03/12/2007 14:17

tell her you need the key back, and if she asks for it to be returned say you and your partner have decided not to in case it invalidates your insurance, or something similar

glammama · 03/12/2007 14:17

I agree. This woman sounds like she has no place in your life. Get that key back asap and like someone ele said don't give any warning. Go round to her house to get it.

edam · 03/12/2007 14:20

She sounds like a very odd person indeed. And not someone I'd trust. Get the key back asap and drop her - if you have to see her regularly keep it polite but non-committal.

tissy · 03/12/2007 14:23

er, you don't need to "borrow" your own key back!

Ask, DEMAND that she gives the key back, as she has clearly misunderstood what it was for.

woodenchair · 03/12/2007 14:27

I would hate to think that someone had been in my house when I wasn't there. She sounds very overpowering and like she is always 'right'.

Try to find a way to get your key back.

MrsSchadenfreude · 03/12/2007 14:41

Get the key back!

My parents (unbeknown to me) retained a key to my London flat. I came home from work once to find that they had visited (they had something to drop off) and my mother had left me a note criticising the state of my flat! Another time I came home to find them sitting there having a nice cup of tea - they had been shopping and thought they would pop in! I made them give me the key back at that point.

Your house, your key.

Ripeberry · 03/12/2007 16:28

Get yourself a keysafe, they sell them in B&Q and then you can have the security of having a key to hand in a safe place.
AB

chocchipchristmascake · 03/12/2007 16:31

"She's quite bossy and isn't shy on giving her opinion including how messy my house is! She calls me every morning to arrange stuff for us to do that day..."

She's nutty. Get the key back before she starts redecorating.

Ripeberry · 03/12/2007 16:33

If she won't give it back then no other option than to call the police (she has stolen your key) and to be safe i would change the locks as well.
Why would she let herself in? she could have been looking at all your private things, bills, wage slips ANYTHING!
AB

BeeWiseMen · 03/12/2007 16:37

!!!loon alert!!!!

never mind getting the key back, change the lock. Who knows how many copies she's made for safekeeping?

I'd be having visions of waking up in the night to find her staring at me.

Elizabetth · 03/12/2007 16:39

I'd tell her straight, that you want the key back so she can't let herself into your house like that again. You could even do it the next time she lets herself in, which hopefully should embarass her enough to make her think about what she's doing.

chocchipchristmascake · 03/12/2007 17:14

Go and check on your rabbit.

kid · 03/12/2007 17:21

I was going to suggest just changing the lock, you can always say you lost your key so decided to change the lock to be on the safe side.

When she asks for a copy of the new key, either say its ok you don't need to give her a copy, or just keep forgetting to get it cut!

I wouldn't let a friend I had only known for a year have a spare key to my house. Certainly not if they were going to use it to let themselves in all the time. I would let a local relative (or good friend) have a copy of the key incase I locked myself out or lost my keys.
That happened to us before and we found out the hard way how much a locksmith costs at 3am!

MrsSlocomb · 03/12/2007 17:26

Hmmm she sounds a bit obsessive, do you have any bunnies she might want to boil

hifi · 03/12/2007 17:30

mil does this all the time, we gave her one to let herself in in emergencies, i now put the chain on, that stops her and also gives me the chance to say, ooh you should have rang the bell.

CaptainUnderpants · 03/12/2007 17:30

Get it back or change the locks ( say Dh has lost the key again ) because what will happen if you went away !

I can just imagine her going through your clothes and smelling your odour on them and rubbing them against her skin .

seriously do SOMETHING

CaptainUnderpants · 03/12/2007 17:31

Sorry that sounds a bit smutty - but I think you know what I mean

madamez · 03/12/2007 21:48

Her behaviour is inappropriate. Change the locks (without telling her) and then when she complains say you lost a key but don't give her another one.

ScottishMummyFurtlingWithSanta · 03/12/2007 22:02

She has violated your private space, criticizingly you, swanning about your home - like it is a hotewl. don't mess about getting the key back (she may have copies)Change the locks.

cut her out, take a deep breath - she is bullying you. deep down you do know this.

stand up for yourself, avoid contact cut her out, don't cave in when she inevitably whines/moans/wheedles as attempt to get back in with you

you need to get a back bone or she will continue to exploit/bully/criticise you

bubblepop · 03/12/2007 22:08

no you are not being petty. get the key back!

kaid100 · 02/05/2011 20:23

I have spare keys at a couple of nearby family members, but I'd be pissed off if they let themselves in for no real reason and politely make an excuse to ask for the key back.

sprinkles77 · 02/05/2011 20:31

Same situation with my SIL. She walked in on me and DH having naked time. Solved that one!

Flounder · 02/05/2011 20:35

Where are all these old threads coming from Confused

TheOriginalFAB · 02/05/2011 20:38

This thread is over 3 years old.

ginmakesitallok · 02/05/2011 20:38

Dec 07????