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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who is BU..me or him?

83 replies

junglejane56 · 04/09/2021 12:29

I have a ds10 from previous relationship. Been with now husband 5 years and have a baby on the way. Dh has no kids of his own but has a good relationship with ds.

On the weekends I like to plan stuff to do. Dh is fine with some things like cinema, football and so on but when it comes to more kid focused stuff he finds it boring. Today we are going to a soft play centre (a good massive one, not the usual crap lol) and then going for lunch afterwards at an American themed diner. Dh hasn't complained but I can tell he'd rather be doing something else. I just said 'you don't want to go do you' and he replied not really.

Now I know he's entitled to feel this way, soft play isn't my idea of fun either but it's something my ds will enjoy. And when our new baby arrives he is going to have to realise that small kids enjoy things that he views as a bit shit. I tried explaining this to him and he eye rolled and walked off.

Aibu to expect a bit more enthusiasm rather than casting a downer on the day before we've even set off?

OP posts:
UserStillatLarge · 04/09/2021 21:02

The good thing about having children past the toddler/early school age is that you can do things with them that are actually fun/interesting for the adult as well. So not sure why you are dragging everyone to soft play unless your DS has been begging to go?

SarahAndQuack · 04/09/2021 21:03

You still take a ten year old to soft play? WHY?!

Theunamedcat · 04/09/2021 21:05

Eye rolling and walking away what is he fuckin 12? He does understand that he will have to do these things with his own baby right? Or will he delegate that one too you also

Aprilx · 04/09/2021 21:35

@Theunamedcat

Eye rolling and walking away what is he fuckin 12? He does understand that he will have to do these things with his own baby right? Or will he delegate that one too you also
Or will he delegate that one to you too

What has Op’s husband delegated to OP? Confused

Cherrysoup · 04/09/2021 22:00

You asked, he answered honestly. Would you rather he lied? We all do stuff with the dc that are good for them and boring for us. I’ll do the social thing, go somewhere I really don’t want to go, because it’s for the dc. I don’t have to like it!

Theunamedcat · 04/09/2021 22:22

What has Op’s husband delegated to OP? Confused

Cant you see where this is going? Everything child related is seen as boring she does everything pretty much by herself with the children because of this despite them being "family" and now they are having a child "together" except its not going to be together because kid shit it boring

Hikingforscenery · 04/09/2021 22:30

You should’ve taken DS on your own and then DH could’ve done something on his own. I hate soft play centres though tbf. I’ve not been to one since the pandemic began and thankfully, mine would rather be outdoors.

aSofaNearYou · 04/09/2021 23:39

@Theunamedcat

What has Op’s husband delegated to OP? Confused

Cant you see where this is going? Everything child related is seen as boring she does everything pretty much by herself with the children because of this despite them being "family" and now they are having a child "together" except its not going to be together because kid shit it boring

He's not delegating, it's her child, not his. He would be delegating if she were doing it all for their joint child.
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