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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Discovered (by accident) BIL is bankrupt. Do I tell SIL?

487 replies

PoppyWoods · 02/09/2021 20:08

Part of my job is to check the insolvency register. It's a public register, freely accessible to all.

I put in various names, mine, my parents, my sisters and brothers, not expecting to find anything. Anyway to my horror I discovered my BIL was declared bankrupt 3 months ago. It's definitely him as it lists full name, address and dob.

My SIL has never mentioned it. We're fairly close and she's disclosed very personal things to me in the past, so I'm wondering if she even knows. Is it even possible that he could go through the process and her be totally unaware?

My dilemma is, do I tell her or not? What if she doesn't know? What if she does know and she's so mortified she hasn't told anyone? What if she accuses me of snooping and interfering?

I honestly don't know what I do with this information (if anything). Appreciate your thoughts

OP posts:
Jemand · 02/09/2021 23:49

I don't think it's the same as seeing him kissing some woman in town. It's personal,

To be honest, if someone told me they'd seen my husband kissing another woman, it would seem extremely personal to me.

Jemand · 02/09/2021 23:50

@ThisBeTheName, do tell me which rule you think I should check, and I will happily do so.

Nanny0gg · 02/09/2021 23:50

@PoppyWoods

Thanks all 😊

I'm going to sleep on it. You really are quite a judgemental lot aren't you?

I looked something up and discovered something that I don't know what to do with.

No animals or children were harmed - oh the hysteria!

You were clearly looking for dirt.

Congratulations. You found some

Jemand · 02/09/2021 23:54

They did where I worked. And 2 people were escorted off the premises and immediately dismissed for doing just that.

@Geamhradh, next time they do that, I suggest you slip your ex colleague the name of a good employment lawyer. The lawyer will have a field day.

wobblywinelover · 02/09/2021 23:55

Regardless of what the OP should or shouldn't do, or her motivations for it, the personal attacks and nastiness on this thread are totally out of control. People are making some wild assumptions and judging the OP very harshly when she has made a thread out of concern for her sister in law why on earth does everybody automatically assume she has bad intentions for it! Nobody knows her full situation. There are ways of phrasing things folks! She asked for advice on what to do and is probably feeling terrible she even posted about it now.

3luckystars · 02/09/2021 23:59

I would have looked myself up too.

Lockheart · 03/09/2021 00:00

@wobblywinelover

Regardless of what the OP should or shouldn't do, or her motivations for it, the personal attacks and nastiness on this thread are totally out of control. People are making some wild assumptions and judging the OP very harshly when she has made a thread out of concern for her sister in law why on earth does everybody automatically assume she has bad intentions for it! Nobody knows her full situation. There are ways of phrasing things folks! She asked for advice on what to do and is probably feeling terrible she even posted about it now.
I reported a tonne of them and was essentially told nothing would be done as other posters had challenged said posts...
MurielSpriggs · 03/09/2021 00:05

Yesterday 23:46 @Delphigirl
Nonsense

Yesterday 23:46 Delphigirl
That was to Geamhradh BTW

Thanks for clarifying this. To be fair it could apply to the majority of posts on this thread, I've rarely read such nonsense!

MyBadHabitsLeadToYou · 03/09/2021 00:09

They were probably escorted off for looking up family members on the bank’s system. I worked for Lloyds TSB (credit cards) as a student. They did spot checks of your search history (in their credit card systems) and if you’d been anywhere you weren’t meant to be that was a serious matter.

Lockheart · 03/09/2021 00:12

@MyBadHabitsLeadToYou

They were probably escorted off for looking up family members on the bank’s system. I worked for Lloyds TSB (credit cards) as a student. They did spot checks of your search history (in their credit card systems) and if you’d been anywhere you weren’t meant to be that was a serious matter.
That's a rather different scenario to an open access government record...
MyHairNeedsASnip · 03/09/2021 00:15

@Jemand

I don't think it's the same as seeing him kissing some woman in town. It's personal,

To be honest, if someone told me they'd seen my husband kissing another woman, it would seem extremely personal to me.

As would I, but that's one sentence from a whole paragraph. I doubt the in laws are watching him when he's out, which is what it would take for them to have a dilemma that's comparable. It's like comparing apples and ballsacks.
DixonD · 03/09/2021 00:18

@Miniroofbox

That’s a data protection breach. What’s your justification for searching family members? I bet your work policy doesn’t say look up your BIL.
No, it isn’t. Anyone can look at the insolvency register. It’s free and open, and actually public information.
JaniceBattersby · 03/09/2021 00:19

I SINCERELY hope none of the moral, upstanding citizens on this thread have ever used Facebook friends lists to look how people are related to each other, or to search someone they’ve seen in the local paper’s court reports,, or clicked on their name when they’ve posted a controversial comment on a local news site.

I also hope they’ve never randomly clicked on a house for sale in their street on rightmove that they’ve no intention of buying to see how much it is and what decor they’ve used.

And I very much hope that they’ve never used the online local planning system to have a nose at what the big new fancy home up the road is going to look like, or companies house to see how much someone is worth, or the CQC website to see if the care home their sister works at is any good.

And it would be outrageous if these NOSEY PARKERS had looked at the Daily Mail to see what Katie Price has done this time seeing as it’s NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS.

It’s human nature to be interested in other people’s lives. It’s perfectly reasonable to look up publicly accessible information of all forms.

The only ‘crime’ the OP has potentially committed is using the internet during work time and tbh my employer couldn’t give a shit if I spend five minutes on google during the day.

FWIW OP I don’t think I’d say anything in your shoes. I reckon she already knows and if not, she’ll find out when she needs to.

NumberTheory · 03/09/2021 00:24

@MyHairNeedsASnip

Just because you can look, it doesn't mean you should and it definitely doesn't mean you should go telling. And I use "you" to mean generally not just the OP.

I don't think it's the same as seeing him kissing some woman in town. It's personal, and unless you know the ins and outs of their personal finances and how they split money or don't, it's a Nose Out job.

Once you go bankrupt your finances aren't entirely personal - you've made sure of that by pushing your debts off on to others to bear without their consent. The fact you've done that isn't personal - it's public, and it should be.
Geamhradh · 03/09/2021 00:25

@Delphigirl

That was to *@Geamhradh* BTW
I was their manager. It was flagged up to me and went higher. Security removed them. Their breech of protocol could have led to prosecution. As is the norm. In any large organization where sensitive data is accessed. The OP of this thread may not work for such an organization, in which case, she's been lucky.
Geamhradh · 03/09/2021 00:26

@Jemand

They did where I worked. And 2 people were escorted off the premises and immediately dismissed for doing just that.

@Geamhradh, next time they do that, I suggest you slip your ex colleague the name of a good employment lawyer. The lawyer will have a field day.

Not in the kind of place I worked. It wasn't a bank.
DaphneDeloresMoorhead · 03/09/2021 00:27

She hasn't accessed sensitive data though has she ? No way can you, however desperate to be proved right, say that a public access government website is sensitive data

Lockheart · 03/09/2021 00:28

In any large organization where sensitive data is accessed.

It's not sensitive data, it's available to anyone who wants it, anywhere, for free, at the click of a button. Like company phone numbers or charity registration numbers.

If OP had accessed private information then you'd have a point, but that's not what she's done.

It's information published on the internet for literally anyone to look at if they choose.

Whattheschitt · 03/09/2021 00:32

If she has the property in joint names with him, she will know. They will of discussed with him and her the equity in the property and how his Bankruptcy may impact it. If there is enough equity that the property would be at risk, they have to give her the option to buy him out.

Whattheschitt · 03/09/2021 00:35

Just to add my job is directly linked to insolvency. If i searched someone up on the private system without reason e.g if it wasn't due to a client calling for us to discuss the case. That is a sackable offence.

Searching someone up on the insolvency register isn't. Accessing Public information isn't breaking GDPR or DPA. It's like looking in the phone book at people. Morally? It's not the best, but not illegal and not going to cost someone a job.

Jemand · 03/09/2021 00:35

I was their manager. It was flagged up to me and went higher. Security removed them. Their breech of protocol could have led to prosecution. As is the norm. In any large organization where sensitive data is accessed. The OP of this thread may not work for such an organization, in which case, she's been lucky.

But no employer could conceivably claim that information available in public records is sensitive data. Not if they want to avoid being successfully sued for unfair dismissal, anyway.

Jemand · 03/09/2021 00:38

Geamhradh, next time they do that, I suggest you slip your ex colleague the name of a good employment lawyer. The lawyer will have a field day.

Not in the kind of place I worked. It wasn't a bank.

Assuming that the place you worked was in the UK, I'm sure that they're not immune from employment law.

ThisBeTheName · 03/09/2021 00:41

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

MyBadHabitsLeadToYou · 03/09/2021 00:53

I’m honestly beginning to think ThisBeTheName is the brother in law.

SD1978 · 03/09/2021 00:56

You did snoop. There's no accusation of this it's a fact.