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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off that the children’s centres where I live still aren’t open?!

109 replies

AngeloMysterioso · 01/09/2021 23:48

My son is 22 months old (so was 4 months at the start of lockdown). Has barely been seen by any kind of medical professional since then except when he’s had his jabs- Doctors appointments are telephone calls, health visitor checks are telephone calls, and the only baby groups that have restarted where I live are the kind that are £7.50 for the pleasure of spending 45 minutes trying to keep your toddler on a yoga mat. Support for new mums pretty much vanished overnight and nobody seems to be in any hurry to bring it back.

With all the covid restrictions easing I’ve been really hoping that my local district’s children’s centres would be re-opening as normal soon, but no- they’ve just updated their Facebook page with September’s “virtual offer” of three zoom workshop sessions and “virtual baby massage”- and no mention at all of any change to the current online-only situation.

AIBU to think enough is enough now? How long do they plan on using covid as an excuse not to deliver the service they are designed and built (and paid) for? I’m expecting DC2 in December and at this point fully expect them to be walking and talking before anyone besides the immunisation nurse actually claps eyes on them.

OP posts:
Cabbagepie · 02/09/2021 00:33

Totally agree, utterly ridiculous. Local children's centre is right next door to the primary school but unlike the school it's doors are still firmly closed.

inpixiehollow · 02/09/2021 02:45

Completely agree with you. Exactly same situation for me in my area too, my daughter has just turned one and I'm due baby no2 in November. I was saying to my partner the other day how I'm not surprised that child abuse cases resulting in serious harm/death of a baby or child has shot up in the last year because our daughter hadn't been seen by a professional for 9 months until her vaccinations appointment.
Also plenty of the expensive 'business' type baby groups open but the local church playgroup types have vanished :(

SnackSizeRaisin · 02/09/2021 06:13

Completely agree. It's the same here. Everything else is reopened now even the church groups run by 90 year old volunteers. Given that mums and children are just going to mix elsewhere, what's their logic for staying closed? Pretty obviously they just can't be bothered.

InpatientGardener · 02/09/2021 06:26

Well my local authority has taken the opportunity to close the vast majority of them for good, leaving about 4 open for the entire (large) county to use Angry apparently this helps them support the most vulnerable families more efficiently.. I had a lockdown baby and whilst I wouldn't have gone to groups anyway, I do think the lack of support for new mums is dreadful. The battle to get anyone to see my baby in person when I've needed is ridiculous.

susiella · 02/09/2021 06:32

North Notts Children's Centres are open and offering face to face Events. Have done since June 21

EatSprayGlove · 02/09/2021 06:35

I assume most local authorities are using this as a cost saving exercise in the same way mine has still not resumed street cleaning and some green waste collections haven't returned!

SpicyJalfrezi · 02/09/2021 06:37

It’s awful.

I did take my baby to groups throughout maternity leave but I really could have done with a confidential conversation with the HV, but I couldn’t as nowhere to have it as my mood has been pretty low on occasion.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 02/09/2021 06:37

Mine only ever saw professionals for appointments re jabs, didn’t think it was that unusual. There were some paid for activities within driving distance but nothing that couldn’t be replicated at home as mainly just play based.

JurassicShay · 02/09/2021 06:44

Our children's centre shut over 10 years ago!

My DD is 15 months & Iv just managed to book her into a music class for September. It will be the first time she gets to meet other toddlers. All of our church/hall toddler groups are still shut. The mum and baby group (non movers) has been open for months.

we're both slowly going crazy Grin

Whinge · 02/09/2021 06:49

@Cabbagepie

Totally agree, utterly ridiculous. Local children's centre is right next door to the primary school but unlike the school it's doors are still firmly closed.
We have a similar situation here, it's crazy to see the difference.
FuckingFlumps · 02/09/2021 06:51

We're very fortunate that ours have reopened but I think this is only the case as we are in what is considered a 'deprived' area.

I was saying to my partner the other day how I'm not surprised that child abuse cases resulting in serious harm/death of a baby or child has shot up in the last year because our daughter hadn't been seen by a professional for 9 months until her vaccinations appointment.

I totally agree with this though. DS was 3 months old when lockdown hit and other than his jabs no one saw him. Even when we had worries over his weight we had a virtual appointment where they didn't ask to look at him and whilst his 1 year check at 11 months was face to face we couldn't change the time so he was napping. Other than the vaccination appointments which are not mandatory no one has seen him since he was a newborn.

Me and DH have often commented that he could have been dead or being abused for well over a year and no one would have noticed. I think sadly this is true for some children but sadly no one will actually notice until they are meant to be at starting school.

Twizbe · 02/09/2021 06:54

I'll be honest I haven't checked if our local children's centre is open. I know the nursery there is, but not sure about the other bits.

I volunteer with the NCT and we are restarting our groups. In my branch we've restarted in person breastfeeding support, bumps and babies, walk and talks and next week our toddler group.

I know our local church have re started their toddler group as well.

It might be worth looking on Facebook for your local NCT branch and seeing what they are doing. Posting in a local Facebook group can help to find smaller toddler / baby groups. Many of these are around the £1-£3 a session mark. Some even free.

I hope that helps

Wagglerock · 02/09/2021 07:09

Same here - both next to schools both of which have been open throughout. I doubt my two closest ones will reopen - it's a funny area where there's high levels of deprivation in some parts and then million pound houses just 5 minutes away (not in London) so on average the town probably looks pretty wealthy but it's not so guess it's a cost cutting measure. I loved going with my first, nice to meet other mums from a wide range of backgrounds, the activities the staff put out were always a bit different and engaging and it was free. It's a massive shame for the families who really needed the services.

I've contacted my local ones and got the usual wishy washy answer, think I might email my councillor.

BillThePony · 02/09/2021 07:10

That is poor

I manage a children's centre and we have been fully open for a while now. I wonder if this is a step towards them closing.

Thatsplentyjack · 02/09/2021 07:13

@EatSprayGlove

I assume most local authorities are using this as a cost saving exercise in the same way mine has still not resumed street cleaning and some green waste collections haven't returned!
What!! Where is everyone putting their rubbish?
BabarEnFamille · 02/09/2021 07:16

Totally agree, it’s making me so cross - so many affordable toddler groups at ours have vanished plus the breast feeding support and baby weighing

Goldbar · 02/09/2021 07:20

When my DC was a baby, we had three fantastic children's centres within walking distance of where we lived (one of which offered baby swimming in the next door primary school pool). I was very low at the time (looking back, I suspect undiagnosed PND) so getting out of the house and being able to do something which didn't cost a forture was invaluable. We did baby swimming, baby massage, music classes, play sessions and rhyme time and, although I'm not sure how much DC got out of the sessions, I found them invaluable. The staff were great, coming and chatting to all the parents and giving advice (and I suspect flagging up any parents/children in need as well from some of the questions they were asking).

It is so area-dependent though. We subsequently moved to a different area (although still close by) and there was one children's centre for the entire area with a very underwhelming offering. So after that, I paid for some baby classes and went to the local NCT stuff.

I feel really awful for new parents who have struggled in lockdown. The advice I was given was to get out of the house every day, go to groups and surround myself with friends and family. On bad days, I'd take my DC out to a cafe just to get out and be around other people. None of which has been an option in lockdown. I honestly don't know how some parents have coped, stuck with a baby in between the same four walls for most of the time. You are all amazing.

AquaFaba · 02/09/2021 07:21

Yes. Easy way to cut costs and they can claim they are fulfilling their statutory requirements because of moving services online (which we all know is not the same).
I'd like to know whether it is possible to privately hire and pay for a health visitor to attend our local community centre fortnightly - what are the legalities on that?

SpicyJalfrezi · 02/09/2021 07:27

That’s such a lovely post @Goldbar Flowers

Mostly on here we are regaled with how much worse everyone else had it and all babies need are cuddles and milk.

Knittingupastorm · 02/09/2021 07:28

Umm, this is a genuine question - what is a children’s centre? I don’t remember (and I only finished mat leave just before lockdown 1) having anything like what is being described? We had paid for private baby groups, and a HV weighing session in a church hall. Is that a children’s centre?

HungryHippo11 · 02/09/2021 07:31

YANBU
We don't have a children's centre but plenty of playgroups based in church halls etc. They're all reopening in September just with limited numbers

FuckingFlumps · 02/09/2021 07:34

@SpicyJalfrezi

That’s such a lovely post *@Goldbar* Flowers

Mostly on here we are regaled with how much worse everyone else had it and all babies need are cuddles and milk.

Agree whole heartedly with this but only if you also add in the following:

why don't you take them to the park (as though they didn't realise we all did as that's all we could do not forgetting the now infamous puddle suit)

and back in my day we didn't have groups (whilst ignoring the fact mums used to meet at each others houses for tea and cakes whilst the little ones played together).

I gave up moaning in the end as it inevitably ended up with a host of people who simply didn't want to admit raising a baby in a pandemic could be any more difficult than it was pre pandemic.

Whinge · 02/09/2021 07:38

FuckingFlumps

You forgot the best one.

Well I never went to groups and my child is fine

Completely missing the point that they had the choice of whether to go or not. 🤦‍♀️

PumpkinPie2016 · 02/09/2021 07:42

YANBU. I no longer have an under 5 but just looked at our local children's centre out of interest. Nothing at all updated since pre lockdown one so looks like they aren't doing anything eitherSad

A friend had a lockdown baby and he is just over a year old now. They haven't been able to do any groups or classes at all. He is her third baby so she knows what she is doing and has a supportive husband and family, but she did say that if someone was struggling they would not be able to see anyone for support Sad

It does seem like some organisations are going to use covid as an excuse for poor or not existent service forever.

SunShinesBrightly · 02/09/2021 07:42

@Knittingupastorm

Umm, this is a genuine question - what is a children’s centre? I don’t remember (and I only finished mat leave just before lockdown 1) having anything like what is being described? We had paid for private baby groups, and a HV weighing session in a church hall. Is that a children’s centre?
Same! Nothing like that here. Baby weigh in sessions at community hall too but that was all. Everything else (playgroups etc) was private.