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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To update you on my invasive neighbour?

86 replies

UtterDoughnut · 01/09/2021 23:04

I posted a few weeks ago about a neighbour who had sent me a message about my children, complete with photo of the back of my house. I had lots of great advice and sympathy from you all, and I had the thread deleted while pending police intervention.

Update: Police agreed that she had crossed a serious line, especially following her previous damage, trespassing and theft of our property and the fact that we'd laid it out in text that there were boundaries and she was invading our privacy.

They sent a team round to speak to her and tell her to pack it in. The office who came over to see us said they would tell her that if she behaved like this again, they could reasonably arrest her for harassment. They were also going to quietly assess her for vulnerability or mental health needs.

We haven't seen her since, although we know she is there because she slams cupboards a lot. RESULT.

OP posts:
DottyHarmer · 02/09/2021 09:33

Typical that some helpful poster finds an angle to put OP in the wrong (whilst making themselves sound oh so non-judgemental and superior…).

It wouldn’t matter if OP had said to the police, “The neighbour is Lord Lucan.” The police would have still said, “We’ll look into that.”

REP22 · 02/09/2021 09:36

I remember the previous thread and what the neighbour did was very concerning. Thank you for the update and I am glad that there was a helpful outcome.

The person clearly has troubles of one sort or another. Hopefully, in a round-about sort of way this will help her in the long term. Or at least stop her from taking unpleasant and distressing actions which hurt others and could cause her real legal problems in due course.

Best wishes to you.

Original poster
UtterDoughnut · 02/09/2021 09:39

Please let's not argue! You were all very helpful and I don't want this to become a negative thread.

Summary of behaviour that we know of:
Emailing us at length telling us to get rid of our pets
Smashing our back window
Taking our garden equipment/items to the skip because she didn't like it
Taking photos of house and commenting that she could see children in their bedrooms when they should be outside. Possibly meant for someone else.

This is a VERY brief summary, mind. I would rather not reveal too much more.

OP posts:
MrsRobbieHart · 02/09/2021 09:41

@DottyHarmer

Typical that some helpful poster finds an angle to put OP in the wrong (whilst making themselves sound oh so non-judgemental and superior…).

It wouldn’t matter if OP had said to the police, “The neighbour is Lord Lucan.” The police would have still said, “We’ll look into that.”

Do you mean me?
BluebellsareBlue · 02/09/2021 09:52

@Geamhradh

Absolutely outrageous you were given confidential information like that.
OP wasn't given any confidential information! If I was asked to attend this call I would absolutely say I will make an assessment and involve any parties that needed to be involved.

Yeah jump on the police why don't you. SMH 🤦‍♀️

BreatheAndFocus · 02/09/2021 09:54

Great result, OP, and I hope it’s brought you some peace of mind Flowers

Youarethecurry · 02/09/2021 10:16

I tihnk I remember your thread, were you the person who was upset at losing a pet and had your curtains closed?

Nosey old bat, the world just seems full of self-righteous arseholes right now.

Original poster
UtterDoughnut · 02/09/2021 10:24

@Youarethecurry

I tihnk I remember your thread, were you the person who was upset at losing a pet and had your curtains closed?

Nosey old bat, the world just seems full of self-righteous arseholes right now.

Yes, that's me.
OP posts:
custardbear · 02/09/2021 10:26

[quote TheWeatherWitch]@custardbear can I message you. It was a lot going on. Too much to repost here, especially as op wanted it deleted.[/quote]
Yes please @TheWeatherWitch Grin

whynotwhatknot · 02/09/2021 10:38

Sounds awful op i missed the first thread glad police have warned her now

how long was this going on for

yellowsubmarines · 02/09/2021 10:43

I think you're extremely fortunate that the police are taking the situation seriously OP. I had a similar incident and the police told me to invite the harassing threatening abusive neighbour into my home for 'tea and a chat'. Shock When I refused saying I didn't want someone who was threatening and intimidating me to be in my home the police told me I was being 'difficult' and there was nothing more they could do. The harassment continues.

TravellingWanabee · 02/09/2021 10:53

@MrsRobbieHart

It's not quite like that though is it?

OP said "we're worried about her mental health", they replied "it will be assessed". It's not like OP said "my neighbour's being a dick" and they replied "we'll look into her mental well being".

And if you read the thread top to bottom, you’ll see that my initial post was before OP posted the clarification about why they said this.

Having read the full thread top to bottom (!), you'll see that I was replying to the last message you had posted at that point. Your later post came after I had posted my reply to you.
Rannva · 02/09/2021 10:54

@MrsRobbieHart

They were also going to quietly assess her for vulnerability or mental health needs.

Not sure they should be telling you that!

I had the local lunatic hammering on my front door jabbering some insane conspiracy theory. When the police talked to me later, they thanked me for reporting it as the man's family were deeply concerned about him. He was in treatment, and had already been injured by knocking at another household and being punched by the owner.

Whether or not they should have told me I don't know, but I suppose it did make me feel a bit more sympathetic to the guy.

People are only human. Not everyone's gonna go full GDPR when consoling anxious people.

MrsRobbieHart · 02/09/2021 10:57

Having read the full thread top to bottom (!), you'll see that I was replying to the last message you had posted at that point. Your later post came after I had posted my reply to you.

Which later post?

GoogleWhacked · 02/09/2021 11:02

Didn't see your earlier thread, but glad you've got the right level of support from police.
Fingers crossed for a peaceful life now Smile

BareVanilla · 02/09/2021 11:20

Was this the thread where the neighbour had posted about your kids being indoors on a hot sunny day playing video games? If so well done on getting a result.

Nothing confidential about telling us what you said to the police officer, this an anonymous chat site.

Please don't tell us your hobbies though as that could be outing...

Mummyoflittledragon · 02/09/2021 11:31

I missed your original thread. However that sounds terrifying. I’m glad you’ve got it sorted and had the support you needed. Smile

SirGawain · 02/09/2021 11:54

@MrsRobbieHart

They were also going to quietly assess her for vulnerability or mental health needs.

Not sure they should be telling you that!

Strange how the people who ride roughshod over everyone's rights are quick to protest when their "rights" are infringed.
Original poster
UtterDoughnut · 02/09/2021 12:38

@BareVanilla

Was this the thread where the neighbour had posted about your kids being indoors on a hot sunny day playing video games? If so well done on getting a result.

Nothing confidential about telling us what you said to the police officer, this an anonymous chat site.

Please don't tell us your hobbies though as that could be outing...

Yes, that's me! Not video games on that day but still totally relevant as my kids do love a good gaming session or movie day.

I feel much better. Landscaped some of the garden last week with no fear that she was going to send me a note with her opinion on it, or instructions.

OP posts:
MrsRobbieHart · 02/09/2021 12:53

Strange how the people who ride roughshod over everyone's rights are quick to protest when their "rights" are infringed.

Sorry, do you think I’m the neighbour? Or that I’ve ridden roughshod over someone’s rights on this thread? Confused

phishy · 02/09/2021 12:59

@MrsRobbieHart

Irrelevant

So? Confused so is lots of shit people post on MN. Like quoting a post just to say “irrelevant”.

Because we are trying to support the OP here, who has been through a tough time.

Erm, it was a dig at the police!!

OP can't change the police, can she? Why can't you just be happy for her?

MrsRobbieHart · 02/09/2021 13:40

Dear lord!!

TurquoiseDragon · 02/09/2021 13:56

I didn't see your original thread, but sounds like a good result, and I'll keep my fingers crossed that it remains peaceful for you.

Maddison12 · 02/09/2021 14:13

I'm sure I remember your thread, did she text you 'sunny day, curtains closed at 12pm' Hmm

The messages were batshit, I remember reading them like Shock

Glad things are a lot more peaceful now, long may it continue!

LizzieW1969 · 02/09/2021 15:55

I didn’t see your other thread, but it sounds like a nightmare! I’m glad that you’ve had a good outcome after reporting the neighbour’s harassment to the police.

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