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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To buy myself a ring?

60 replies

Wearewhatweare · 30/08/2021 22:52

I’m longing to wear a nice ring… everyone around me is getting engaged and at the moment it is unfortunately not an option for us. We are not going to get engaged for a while (if ever) and it’s rather complicated. Not the relationship but family and other factors around us. Thinking of having a wedding is actually really upsetting me for these reasons but I’d love to be engaged. I can’t just ask for a ring but I thought I could treat myself to a nice one. Not an engagement ring like at all but something nice and obviously wear it on my index of middle finger. Is that silly? Where can I shop for a ring like this ?

OP posts:
PearlyRising · 30/08/2021 22:55

Do it! The best presents are from me to me

RosesAndHellebores · 30/08/2021 22:55

What's your budget.

Jossse · 30/08/2021 22:57

Yea absolutely go for it... enjoy purchasing it. It'll be lovely and you'll feel so much better after 🙏

Original poster
Wearewhatweare · 30/08/2021 22:57

I’m not sure about the budget… I just want to make sure I’m not crazy for buying something like this. I feel a bit weird about it or thinking that I might get judged

OP posts:
Flyingdaisy · 30/08/2021 23:00

Not crazy at all. I have bought myself a new diamond dress ring each time I was promoted. Last one was £2500 and I wear it every day with a smile! Sadly won’t be any more as I’m retiring soon….
Treat yourself well.

pennysays · 30/08/2021 23:01

Do it! I really wanted a nice ring and I am never going to have an engagement or wedding ring so I have a gorgeous ring with the birthstone of my child on it. It’s an antique ring and I love it and wear it all the time. It wasn’t that expensive -under £100 from a place selling second hand jewellery.

HarrietOh · 30/08/2021 23:03

Are you thinking of it like an engagement ring? Why not just get an engagement ring?

Cabbagewhites · 30/08/2021 23:03

absolutely do it! I’ll be getting myself on when I am 40!

Lizzie523 · 30/08/2021 23:04

Go for it OP! I'll be doing similar soon.

hilariousnamehere · 30/08/2021 23:06

Definitely not weird - all my rings bar two are from me, to me, I wear ten of them on a daily basis and there are three solitaires and a plain band in there - am single and have zero plans to marry ever, so they're a commitment to myself, if you like. Grin

Mainly I just really like rings 😂 buy what you fancy, OP!

earsup · 30/08/2021 23:08

Go ahead...i have seen a nice second hand cartier panther for 3k...so will sell off some inherited never worn stuff to fund it...

Gensola · 30/08/2021 23:09

Do it! If I had spare money I’d buy myself an eternity ring as I don’t see DH doing it Grin and if I have to ask him the sentiment is ruined so I might as well buy it myself

PearlyRising · 30/08/2021 23:10

One day i might buy myself this

To buy myself a ring?
BashfulClam · 30/08/2021 23:13

Wear it on your right hand if you want. I have rings I bought that I wear alongside my engagement and wedding band.

Bbub · 30/08/2021 23:17

Do it OP, it's not weird in the slightest. I'm doing the same and as a PP mentioned, it's sort of a commitment to myself.

Bbub · 30/08/2021 23:18

@PearlyRising
BRB just off to browse Boodles!

hilariousnamehere · 30/08/2021 23:18

Just also wanted to clarify - you're allowed to wear rings without being engaged! Definitely - you sounded a bit doubtful in your first post.

I have made a bunch of mine but Etsy is a wonderful starting point too.

Original poster
Wearewhatweare · 30/08/2021 23:29

Yeah I know I can… but a lot if people just assume then and it’s tough to have the marriage convo. I have a colleague who wouldn’t drop it and brings it up every time. I’ve been with my DP for quite a few years and as I said I’m at the age people would expect us to have kids. Argh all the expectations, honestly give me so much heartache and I’m so sad about it

OP posts:
putthetubeinthebin · 30/08/2021 23:32

I wonder if a ring that's not an engagement ring would make you more sad though... if it's causing you so much upset already? Perhaps a beautiful necklace would be better?

I am not planning to marry and treated myself to a ring (not big money, around £200) and I love it but I'm happy about not being married.

HerRoyalNotness · 30/08/2021 23:37

Have a look at Jamie Joseph.

Thingsthatgo · 30/08/2021 23:37

Maybe a coloured stone would be less engagementy? A sapphire or emerald? Or maybe a tourmaline (I love tourmalines).
I would get yourself to a jeweller, a proper one who makes rings, not a high street shop.

trevorandsimon · 30/08/2021 23:38

Why don't you get married if you want to? Doesn't your boyfriend/girlfriend want to?

I bought myself a ring when I started a well paying new job. Lots if people buy rings, or don't understand why you are giving it a second thought, unless you are planning on wearing it in your engagement finger- then it might raise the topic!

Redsquirrel5 · 30/08/2021 23:49

Have a look at antique rings many are better quality gold and the stones. I have two beautiful ones that I have mislaid and I can’t find them. Moved them due to a workman that I didn’t know in the house and I put them somewhere “safe” but can’t remember where. Both handed down to me and are my birth stone. You could buy your birth stone and say that is why you have it.

Cryalot2 · 30/08/2021 23:52

I bought an eternity type ring in Lanzarote once. I also bought myself 2 beautiful dress rings . Some antique shops are good

TheLeadbetterLife · 31/08/2021 00:03

I’m buying myself a ring for my 40th birthday this year. I’m having it made by the same jeweller who made my wedding ring, so it matches and stacks with it. I don’t care if people assume it’s an engagement ring (which I don’t have), I’m wearing it on that finger because it will look pretty.