AIBU to despair at the amount of "grandparent candy" in the house right now?!

[FrauleinF]

So am having a muse of a Bank Holiday evening.

DH and I have two small kids who both have birthdays this month. DD had hers first - the amount of sweets bought for her was unbelievable, but tempered slightly by the fact that she still essentially is a toddler.

We have seen both sets of grandparents on separate days this weekend to celebrate DS turning 5 and the following treats have been served/proffered by the DGPs:

From my dad and his wife when we had them over for lunch:

Massive spiderman birthday cake
6 fairy cakes
2 little bags of M&S chocolate animals
5 pack of Barny bears
A kilo of plums from their tree
8 fancy profiteroles

From MIL and step FIL when they had us over for lunch:

Birthday cake that serves 8
Bowls with a wodge of forest fruit cheesecake and profiteroles in after we'd all eaten a chunk of the aforementioned cake after an enormous roast
6 rainbow cupcakes
2x175g bags of Haribo Tangfastics
(all the leftovers were put in a bag for us to take home)

Apparently there were also biscuits offered after all this by MIL whilst me and my son were in the garden, as DH has just told me that DD "sucked on a Blue Ribband for a bit, chucked it on the floor, then tried to eat it out of the bin". He was, unprompted by me, also incredulous at the amount of sugar provided (before sheepishly admitting "well i did have a KitKat myself" facepalm )

Now I'm not the sugar police, and don't believe in blacklisting food, but this is bonkers isn't it? Or am I just a sourpuss for the sheer volume of treats making me feel a bit awkward? We see each set of grandparents roughly every other week, and though it's not usually this extreme, every time, without fail, plenty of chocolate/biscuits/sweets are given out. It does obviously come from a place of love. Both kids are a healthy weight, fit, and have zero dental issues (for now) , so I haven't really brought this up yet. I certainly was spoiled by my late mum growing up, but never had this level of extravagance!

Does anyone else have grandparents who do this!? Can anyone beat the Bank Holiday kiddy candy haul?! Any tips on how you broached the subject also welcome...

My family does this.,easter and xmas are nightmares

Honestly it's so lovely that your dc have grandparents on both sides who clearly love them so much. Chuck the sweets in the bin if you don't want them eating them. It really isn't a big deal.

Yanbu

Yes some relatives do this. I intervene and say just one cake. Then agree a second reluctantly and say no more - Thankyou for those save them at your house for next time - it's one small bag of chocolate, one small bar or one small bag Of sweets a day- that's our rule- or I'd suggest we take them home for another day for DGC if they'd prefer. But we are not having hyper and then grumpy children bc you want to spoil them.

I didn't mind being the bad guy, As Mine were monsters on sugar highs for 10+ hours afterwards if they are too many sugary things, so I didn't let anyone ruin our days for us by overdosing DCs on sugar! Also the day my uncle gave my 9 year old a coffee vanilla frappe was ridiculous! She was hyper for 6 hours afterwards. Aunt told him off

Yes!

What is it with grandparents that makes them think it's ok to replace meals with sweets, cakes and chocolate. I'm all for treating them, but a week with MIL and now we're having a nightmare getting DD to eat proper meals.

My usual rule is 'after dinner/lunch' but that is completely ignored with a platter of goodies from the moment they walk through the door.

My mother in law bought my 3 year old daughter a (child size) suitcase FULL of bags of sweets.

Half the stuff will keep in the cupboard.

Eat the fruit.

Most of the rest can be discreetly binned for being stale.

That's a lot of treats! As a Nana myself, I do get the temptation to overindulge children, but this is out of control. As a rule, I wouldn't offer treats without checking with DDIL/DS first. Is this something you could ask them to do?

I eat most of it myself

What doubly annoys me about this is that as a child, the only sweets we had were something small once a week at the weekend. And a dessert on Sunday - a yogurt or jelly & ice cream. My DM gives my child more sweets in an hour (potentially) than I had for a week as a child.
I don't mean that in a bitter way I mean that my DParents had obviously decided against too much sugar.
When my DGM visited she would bring one small child sided bag of Cadbury's buttons or the white chocolate buttons each. So she respected/agreed with their boundaries.

Food bank!

The grandparents are the same in my family. And the main problem is that I end up eating 90% of it myself!

Plums? Da fuck did they do wrong?

DH makes his mum us ask before giving sweets or cakes to DS, saves a lot of bother.

That is a lot!

But, (OT) why are you calling it "candy"?

I’m a bit baffled by the plums? They are hardly in ‘hard Candy’ level!

@FoxesAtDawn

I’m a bit baffled by the plums? They are hardly in ‘hard Candy’ level!

You start with the plums but before you know it you are using crack

Let the kids indulge on the holiday or the birthday and then throw the treats in a cabinet. They will likely be forgotten. Occasionally someone gets a craving for a sweet and grabs something from our stash. I clean it out before the next big holiday and it fills up again.

DGM just got back from Scotland. We were there for 2 hours, get 3 bags of tablet (which I promptly pocketed) a box of shortbread was opened, then the Freddos came out, then she made the kids sandwiches (I had a roast cooking at home) I have had to start saying no and stopping the cupboard door opening, it’s only taken me 8 years!

What’s your issue with plums?

No big deal, just bin or put in the food bank.

Some of that stuff would keep forever anyway.

When visiting friends with children if we had brought any treats I always gave them to the mum and didn't let the kids see them. And certainly not anything excessive.

If they were Victoria plums they really are the bees knees. really missing our old plum tree

The cakes have been bought as extras because of the birthday, you have to sing happy birthday with a cake.

In these situations I just let them have what's offered regarding cake/pudding (child appropriate portion!). I'd try to shove the sweets/wrapped biscuits in a bag to take home for later/eat after dinner for pudding/not now it'll spoil your dinner etc.

My children have sweet tins, everything gets lobbed in and they can pick something for pudding if they've not had much sugar in the day.

Cakes go stale pretty quick, you can chuck them without anyone noticing.

Food equals love in many people's eyes, plus they see it as good hosting. I always buy far too much food when I'm hosting people. If they were doing it daily you'd have to tackle it but once a fortnight you can just go with it.

My grandchildren are ok about it when they come here, as I don’t have chocolate, sweets, fizzy juice etc for them, they is always fresh fruit in & for Easter, Halloween, Christmas, birthdays they get a toy or money for their piggy banks which they do prefer as they get something they actually want or save up to get something bigger. Plus there are plenty other sets of grandparents that do all the sugar filled things, but take offence when they maybe ask if they have bananas etc instead.

Plums are good.

Sweets can be put away and will last for years.

Birthday cake can be sliced and frozen in individual slices, will last really well in the freezer. Same for cupcakes.

Chocolates I would eat when they are in bed

Old strangers on the bus have tried to press chocolate bars and Percy pigs into my 2 year olds hand. An elderly neighbour brought him a choc ice. My husband thinks it’s rude to refuse them because “they’re just being nice” 🙄
Old people would make excellent drug pushers. They’ve got a knack for persuasion

Plums gave my son the runs. Those bastard fruits haven’t been in my house since that fateful nappy explosion day.