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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to despair at the amount of "grandparent candy" in the house right now?!

80 replies

FrauleinF · 30/08/2021 20:36

So am having a muse of a Bank Holiday evening.

DH and I have two small kids who both have birthdays this month. DD had hers first - the amount of sweets bought for her was unbelievable, but tempered slightly by the fact that she still essentially is a toddler.

We have seen both sets of grandparents on separate days this weekend to celebrate DS turning 5 and the following treats have been served/proffered by the DGPs:

From my dad and his wife when we had them over for lunch:

Massive spiderman birthday cake
6 fairy cakes
2 little bags of M&S chocolate animals
5 pack of Barny bears
A kilo of plums from their tree
8 fancy profiteroles

From MIL and step FIL when they had us over for lunch:

Birthday cake that serves 8
Bowls with a wodge of forest fruit cheesecake and profiteroles in after we'd all eaten a chunk of the aforementioned cake after an enormous roast
6 rainbow cupcakes
2x175g bags of Haribo Tangfastics
(all the leftovers were put in a bag for us to take home)

Apparently there were also biscuits offered after all this by MIL whilst me and my son were in the garden, as DH has just told me that DD "sucked on a Blue Ribband for a bit, chucked it on the floor, then tried to eat it out of the bin". He was, unprompted by me, also incredulous at the amount of sugar provided (before sheepishly admitting "well i did have a KitKat myself" facepalm )

Now I'm not the sugar police, and don't believe in blacklisting food, but this is bonkers isn't it? Or am I just a sourpuss for the sheer volume of treats making me feel a bit awkward? We see each set of grandparents roughly every other week, and though it's not usually this extreme, every time, without fail, plenty of chocolate/biscuits/sweets are given out. It does obviously come from a place of love. Both kids are a healthy weight, fit, and have zero dental issues (for now) , so I haven't really brought this up yet. I certainly was spoiled by my late mum growing up, but never had this level of extravagance!

Does anyone else have grandparents who do this!? Can anyone beat the Bank Holiday kiddy candy haul?! Any tips on how you broached the subject also welcome...

OP posts:
Russell19 · 31/08/2021 07:29

Plums 🤣

Dentistlakes · 31/08/2021 07:32

Just hide the sweets and chocolate away. The cakes are a bit trickier. DH used to take them into work where they disappeared over coffee break. If that’s not an option then I would just throw them out.

00100001 · 31/08/2021 07:37

Give the unopened food to the food bank

0blio · 31/08/2021 07:38

Please don't generalise about grandparents - most of us want the best for our families and love our grandchildren as much as their parents do.
I didn't ever buy rubbish for mine as their parents wanted them to eat healthily. It's not difficult, just keep telling them and refuse the sweet 'treats' or bin them!

There is nothing wrong with plums surely, why are they on your list of 'candy'?

The ageist comments on this thread are disgusting, what is wrong with you @Demelza82 and @EyesAsGreenAsAFreshPickledToad ?

00100001 · 31/08/2021 07:41

@Bitofachinwag

That is a lot!

But, (OT) why are you calling it "candy"?

Because it's a word that encompasses sweet 'treat' foods.
Mintjulia · 31/08/2021 07:41

My ex has a particularly daft friend, who buys vast amounts for our ds. Kilo tubs of Haribo, catering boxes of other sweets, those cardboard trays of muffins. All for one child.
I give them to the local after school club.

Pottedpalm · 31/08/2021 07:49

Oh, just freeze the cake and put the sweets in a tin for whenever. It’s no big deal.
For our birthdays in lockdown, DD arranged for a local restaurant to deliver an enormous cake, enough for about 30 people. Socialising not allowed. We shared it with all our neighbours, the postman took a big wodge for his family and we froze some. No complaints about the younger generation trying to poison us with sugar 😏

Pottedpalm · 31/08/2021 07:54

@Demelza82

Older generations are utterly thick when it comes to nutrition
What a disgusting comment.
Peanutsandchilli · 31/08/2021 08:06

Anyone else think that sounds completely normal for a birthday party?! Just throw what you don't eat, op.

Suzi888 · 31/08/2021 08:10

YANBU OP grandparents do that here too.

Don’t bin it, so bloody wasteful some posters should be ashamed of themselves for suggesting that! Hand in to a food bank instead.

Peanutsandchilli · 31/08/2021 08:12

@Suzi888

YANBU OP grandparents do that here too.

Don’t bin it, so bloody wasteful some posters should be ashamed of themselves for suggesting that! Hand in to a food bank instead.

Ashamed for suggesting she throw a half eaten birthday cake? No. I don't think so. You try giving it to the food bank if you like 🙄
OwlinaTree · 31/08/2021 08:42

Can't give a already cut birthday cake to the food bank! Would you want to receive that in a food package?

EyesAsGreenAsAFreshPickledToad · 31/08/2021 11:06

I forgot that mn was full of the permanently offended. My mistake

ChrissyPlummer · 31/08/2021 11:11

Why the facepalm for an adult eating a kitkat Confused. This makes me think you are a bit ‘sugar police’ TBH.

bonbonours · 31/08/2021 11:19

It's a lot of stuff but you don't have to eat it all / let your kids eat it all at once. Keep the sweets hidden away and ration them out as you wish. Freeze any cake that is too much to eat at once, or give it to friends/neighbours.

As others have said, homegrown plums are not 'candy' or a treat, they are healthy organic food.

And an adult eating a Kitkat is hardly unusual or excessive.

idontlikealdi · 31/08/2021 11:27

MIL does this and it drives me mad. Kids went for a sleepover and they came back with so much food I literally can't fit it in my cupboard. 6 large bags of popcorn, 2 x 12 multipack crisps, all sorts of biscuits / sweets and chocolate. God knows what they ate when they were there. It is a massive bone of contention.

I've had to go through the cupboards today and I've taken the unopened multipacks out to drop at the foodbank.

riotlady · 31/08/2021 13:12

You start with the plums but before you know it you are using crack

Genuinely snorted at this xD

DynamoKev · 31/08/2021 13:22

YABU to use the term "kiddy candy haul" unless in the USA.

00100001 · 31/08/2021 13:22

Your DH had to "sheepishly admit" to having a KitKat...? Confused

I could understand if he had to confess to eating three KitKat's in a row....but an adult feeling guilty for eating a choccy bar? That's issues right there.

00100001 · 31/08/2021 13:23

@Suzi888

YANBU OP grandparents do that here too.

Don’t bin it, so bloody wasteful some posters should be ashamed of themselves for suggesting that! Hand in to a food bank instead.

You can't give a half eaten cake to a food bank! 😂
eddiemairswife · 31/08/2021 13:24

Some of us older people were taught about nutrition and what comprises a balanced diet when we were at school.

Marguerite2000 · 31/08/2021 13:37

I'm glad that the ageism on the thread has been addressed.
However, I'm a nan myself, and I agree with the OP. I usually do buy my grandkids a small selection box at xmas, and a smallish easter egg. Other than that, I give them money. They love getting money, and they can choose something for themselves, under their parent's supervision of course.
I think overloading kids with sweets etc isn't doing them any favours at all, no matter how loving the motive.

Wineless · 31/08/2021 13:37

It's easy to hide stuff from a toddler (and donate or eat or give them in small portions)

Lot more difficult when they are 5+ and remember EVERYTHING.

Noshowlomo · 31/08/2021 13:39

Nah, anything goes in Nannys Cafe!

WanderleyWagon · 31/08/2021 13:42

I'd food bank all the commercial stuff straight away, unopened; I'm guessing the food bank does accept occasional treats sometime. If the homemade things are nice I'd eat them first. Storebought birthday cakes - meh, why not cut small slices, and then let gently go stale until it can be put in the brown bin (I'm very zero-waste, but anti-heavily-iced-supermarket-birthday-cakes)