Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to despair at the amount of "grandparent candy" in the house right now?!

80 replies

FrauleinF · 30/08/2021 20:36

So am having a muse of a Bank Holiday evening.

DH and I have two small kids who both have birthdays this month. DD had hers first - the amount of sweets bought for her was unbelievable, but tempered slightly by the fact that she still essentially is a toddler.

We have seen both sets of grandparents on separate days this weekend to celebrate DS turning 5 and the following treats have been served/proffered by the DGPs:

From my dad and his wife when we had them over for lunch:

Massive spiderman birthday cake
6 fairy cakes
2 little bags of M&S chocolate animals
5 pack of Barny bears
A kilo of plums from their tree
8 fancy profiteroles

From MIL and step FIL when they had us over for lunch:

Birthday cake that serves 8
Bowls with a wodge of forest fruit cheesecake and profiteroles in after we'd all eaten a chunk of the aforementioned cake after an enormous roast
6 rainbow cupcakes
2x175g bags of Haribo Tangfastics
(all the leftovers were put in a bag for us to take home)

Apparently there were also biscuits offered after all this by MIL whilst me and my son were in the garden, as DH has just told me that DD "sucked on a Blue Ribband for a bit, chucked it on the floor, then tried to eat it out of the bin". He was, unprompted by me, also incredulous at the amount of sugar provided (before sheepishly admitting "well i did have a KitKat myself" facepalm )

Now I'm not the sugar police, and don't believe in blacklisting food, but this is bonkers isn't it? Or am I just a sourpuss for the sheer volume of treats making me feel a bit awkward? We see each set of grandparents roughly every other week, and though it's not usually this extreme, every time, without fail, plenty of chocolate/biscuits/sweets are given out. It does obviously come from a place of love. Both kids are a healthy weight, fit, and have zero dental issues (for now) , so I haven't really brought this up yet. I certainly was spoiled by my late mum growing up, but never had this level of extravagance!

Does anyone else have grandparents who do this!? Can anyone beat the Bank Holiday kiddy candy haul?! Any tips on how you broached the subject also welcome...

OP posts:
WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 31/08/2021 00:43

Am I the only one who saw the thread title and thought this was going to be about several particularly smoking hot grandparents (not her own obviously) that OP couldn't control her passionate feelings for?! Grin

Halo1234 · 31/08/2021 00:49

Meh.
If its a birthday and not all the time I would let it slide. I could be wrong but my kids don't seem to comfort/bored eat they way (i) an adult would.
They are busy playing having birthday toys. If u dont make a big deal u might be surprised how well they self regulate. They naturally feel full or it becomes overly sweet making them stop.
No weight no dental issue and a special occasion then let them go far it. If its all the time I would regulate it more if they went ott. But even kids don't want 3 slices of cake. Their stomach tells their Brain their full.

Summerfun54321 · 31/08/2021 00:49

“Wow look at all these treats, let’s choose one thing each”. I usually say that to DC. Or let them choose 2 things. If adults get offended just tell them it’s way too much sugar for young kids 🤷‍♀️.

Confusionreigns2021 · 31/08/2021 01:00

The kilo of plums from their tree do not belong on your list. Yes, there are naturally occurring sugars but it is not processed food. In all likelihood they have been grown without pesticides too so to all intents and purposes they are organic too.

And yes, the grand parents on both sides of the family shower the dc with so much crap it’s not funny. Both feel it’s their right as a gp, I’m picking my battles

eeek88 · 31/08/2021 01:10

Leave the grandparents deal with the kids for at least 3 hours after they eat the sweets. Just be upfront and explain that you don’t give them sweets because you can’t bear the effect on their behaviour but if they want to feed them sweets and deal with the fallout then go ahead.

transformandriseup · 31/08/2021 01:11

I would just ration it out over a period of time.

HelgaDownUnder · 31/08/2021 01:46

You lost me at the homegrown plums.

The rest is crazy though. DM loves to bake, but she usually makes healthy-ish treats with oatmeal, almonds, dried fruit and so forth. DH and FIL both have serious diabetes so I do try and educate DC about sugar.

There is a definite double standard that kicks in when people become GPs though.

Pugdogmom · 31/08/2021 02:13

Oh yeah, definitely double standards when parents become GPs..😂. As a Gran myself, my kids were restricted to sweets on Saturdays. My DGC's not so...
I do check with their parents, and I don't fill them up with sweets completely, but they get more than at home. I do have a fruit bowl that they can help themselves from ( no plums).
The list from the OP is over the top though. I am happy to give them sweets/biscuits but not at expense of meals , and I do consider their teeth.

LoveFall · 31/08/2021 02:39

Plums make a great cobbler or crumble, or crisp for that matter.

You could pit them and freeze for some summer sunshine in the dead of winter.

But seriously, as a grandma, that sounds like a lot. But it is hard to explain how exciting it is to have those grandchildren.

Nixster87 · 31/08/2021 03:23

My mum sees us about once a week and the thing that I really appreciate is before she even mentions if she fetched anything is “have they eaten their breakfast & lunch” then she will bring out a small packet / bar each maybe a kinder bar, one of those little packets of Haribo for my boys, she knows our rules and it works the kids are happy and so am I because their aren’t going mad on sugary treats. My mum is also a keen baker and when she bakes she makes lemon slice with pastry and sponge, my little boy calls it Nannan cake. She bakes them then sliced it and freezes it in portions suitable for them so she knows I can pop it into my freezer and they have a couple pieces that can be taken out and defrosted when needed. She does the same with pie & quiche. During the lockdown those little slices of “home” were such a blessing to us, my son who’s got autism at the time was missing his Nannan so much but my sister would drop off these frozen home baked items so it meant my mum was kept safe as she was shielding. My son has had quite a rough relationship with food but my mums pie and cake is always a winner so even when we couldn’t go see her she was FaceTiming us and saying I’ve sent “bakewell or lemon” and “quiche for mummy & Daddy, pie for you and your brother” it raised morale during those tough months of lockdown. I’ve always stuck to the rule treats in moderation and only if they have eaten their meals that’s all I ask and for the most part it’s worked lovely for us all. I buy treats but only ever the small bars of anything or if it’s a “sharing bag” they have a few in a bowl. At Easter and Christmas then get lots of treats sent from family so I don’t buy any in the weeks following until they’ve used up what was gifted but in moderation. There’s the very special occasions when we go out to the ice cream shop or dessert place but those are on occasions such as a Birthday and even then we ensure they’ve eaten a proper meal before any sweet treats are allowed.

Cocogreen · 31/08/2021 03:32

It's a lot but it's done from love.

  1. Put all the chocolate up in a cupboard out of sight.
  2. Bin any dry cake. Freeze any cake that's suitable to freeze.
  3. Stew the plums and freeze for crumble.

Alternatively, text other family or friends and give it all away.

Demelza82 · 31/08/2021 03:35

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

AlixandraTheGreat · 31/08/2021 04:19

Why include the plums? You don't classify fruit as 'sugar', do you?

icedcoffees · 31/08/2021 04:27

Most of that will keep for months - surely you just put it all in a cupboard and ration it out?

I really don't see the big deal, sorry.

stripedbananas · 31/08/2021 04:37

Theses are all things that can be put in the cupboard or frozen to eat much later.

Not sure why you think it's all going to get eaten at once or what the big deal is.

MissTrip82 · 31/08/2021 05:31

You sound a bit like the sugar police when you included delicious homegrown fruit in that list.

We bin excess sweets because nobody enjoys them if they’re not a treat any more.

With your in laws I’d really play up how lovely the plums were, and how nice it is to have fruit grown at home. Encourage the stuff you like (assuming you’re not actually one of those mad people who kicks off about a piece of fruit).

Wineless · 31/08/2021 06:57

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

Am I the only one who saw the thread title and thought this was going to be about several particularly smoking hot grandparents (not her own obviously) that OP couldn't control her passionate feelings for?! Grin
😂

Easter is the killer, in laws send my DDs a bag of Easter eggs each and then ask for a video of them finding them so can't even keep some back (okay we do keep some back but not enough) it madness

Coffeeonmytoffee · 31/08/2021 07:03

Throw them away or if they aren't open donate them.
I still do that now and my kids are teenagers.

Lovinghannah · 31/08/2021 07:04

@Demelza82

Older generations are utterly thick when it comes to nutrition
Unnecessary, ageist and incorrect.
tiredmama2020 · 31/08/2021 07:16

I’m dreading this 🙄 My first DC is almost 10m old and according to MIL I’m already a “really mean mum” because I give him water with meals and not juice - “water is disgusting” apparently. And baby should be getting a “wee taste of treats” by now 🙄 She keeps coming round with Kinder bars and Milky Bars. White chocolate is “baby chocolate” apparently 🤔🙄

lollipoprainbow · 31/08/2021 07:23

Yes those pesky grandparents eh?! My dd 9 doesn't have any grandparents around so I'd be delighted as would she if she was spoilt like this. If you don't want them to eat them politely say something or Chuck it in the bin when they aren't looking.

UnicornMadeOfPinkGlitter · 31/08/2021 07:23

Offer the cakes that are still whole and wrapped to neighbours and friends. Save whatever amount of fruit you will eat and give away the rest.
Sweets can be stored in an airtight container and given out over weeks/ months eaten by the dc or you and dh. Or if you are really against it give Swales packets to the food bank collection points.

UnicornMadeOfPinkGlitter · 31/08/2021 07:23

Sealed not Swales.

piratehugs · 31/08/2021 07:24

Last year we got a consignment of milkybars in the post for our four month old baby, FFS.

lollipoprainbow · 31/08/2021 07:26

Old strangers on the bus have tried to press chocolate bars and Percy pigs into my 2 year olds hand. An elderly neighbour brought him a choc ice. My husband thinks it’s rude to refuse them because “they’re just being nice” 🙄*
Old people would make excellent drug pushers. They’ve got a knack for persuasion*

Another horrible ageist comment.