Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is SIL being a CF?

88 replies

Totesfabulous · 29/08/2021 18:20

We live in a seaside area and every summer holiday, without fail, SIL comes up with some convoluted reason why her 3 DC (my nephews and niece) should come to stay with us for an extended period. They're aged between 10-13, so in a way it's nice for my DD to have some company her own age, but at the same time I do feel like she's being a bit of a CF here, as she expects me to feed them - and they all eat ENORMOUS meals and they do have a habit of going off and getting into scrapes so I'm forever worrying about them.

My eldest nephew is somewhat opinionated and does try and tell my DD - who is saying she wants to identify as a boy, but that's another thread - what to do, which inevitably leads to a row. Dniece is sweet , but does tend to cry and get upset easily. My husband is a scientist and works ridiculously long hours, so it's just me doing everything, and we also have a large dog who needs a lot of exercise.

AIBU to tell SIL that I can no longer have them all in the school holidays?

OP posts:
Duchess379 · 29/08/2021 19:47

Why doesn't she have your DD instead?

serenenadine · 29/08/2021 19:48

Don't forget the whole fruitcake

youvegottenminuteslynn · 29/08/2021 19:48

I hope SIL at least brings lashings of top quality string to keep them occupied.

ImitationofBeing · 29/08/2021 19:50

You've got a bloody island Fanny, stick them on there for 6 weeks. Then you and Quentin can bonktastic.

PandaLemonIceCream · 29/08/2021 19:56

Didn’t they meet Nobby from the circus this year? He, Fanny and Dick make quite the threesome

sleeponeday · 29/08/2021 19:59

Wrong mindset, IMO, Enid.

Better drowned than duffers. If not duffers, won't drown.

sleeponeday · 29/08/2021 20:00

Not that I can locate Pemmican. Local shops leave much to be desired.

MatildaTheCat · 29/08/2021 20:01

Stop whining about the enormous meals, I believe you have Cook to deal with that and leave huge slices of pie in the pantry for midnight feasts each night.

If I recall correctly these kids are well seasoned at quarantining so that’s a bonus in the current climate Grin.

Kiduknot · 29/08/2021 20:03

It’s good to give them all independence and freedom to make mistakes and learn from them.

RandomDent · 29/08/2021 20:05

It sounds much safer than when I sent my kids to a farm for the summer and they ended up hanging out with some odd man who lived in a cave. He claimed he was some sort of nature expert but you just don’t know.

BoredZelda · 29/08/2021 20:48

It sounds much safer than when I sent my kids to a farm for the summer and they ended up hanging out with some odd man who lived in a cave. He claimed he was some sort of nature expert but you just don’t know.

Mine befriended a bunch of really strange people who lived in the woods. They sometimes were gone for a really long time, and came back in a complete mess.

Still, I did get some decent saucepans out of it, and it kept my obnoxious nephew out of my hair when my sister sent him to stay with us.

tenredthings · 29/08/2021 20:52

@BoredZelda

It sounds much safer than when I sent my kids to a farm for the summer and they ended up hanging out with some odd man who lived in a cave. He claimed he was some sort of nature expert but you just don’t know.

Mine befriended a bunch of really strange people who lived in the woods. They sometimes were gone for a really long time, and came back in a complete mess.

Still, I did get some decent saucepans out of it, and it kept my obnoxious nephew out of my hair when my sister sent him to stay with us.

Yes I think that's the same wood where my DC must have eaten some hallucinogenic mushrooms. They came back full of crazy tales.
FangsForTheMemory · 29/08/2021 20:54

I don't know why you're complaining, Fanny, you've got a cook and a kitchenmaid and I'm sure there's a cleaner though you never mention her. Also you got a tutor in over Christmas and I know that went pear-shaped, but still. You buggered off and left the kids to fend for themselves so I don't know what you're complaining about really.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 29/08/2021 21:00

Plenty of tins of food. That’s the ticket.

Gilly12345 · 29/08/2021 21:28

Be truthful and explain that this arrangement was ok in the past but now your children have their own plans with their friends and you are busy with your hobbies and friends, does SIL not offer to have yours to stay?

Feelingmardy · 29/08/2021 21:47

I do think you are making quite a mountain of a mole-hill. Yes the mutt needs a lot of walks but the kids can all take him for long walks and perhaps also have some lengthy camping trips at the same time. Yes you need to feed them but if you keep chickens in your extensive yard then you can just give them loads of eggs and tell them to get out of your hair. If it's all feeling too much I'd suggest you also employ a cleaner. If you get someone from the lower classes they will be too stupid to notice that you are paying them peanuts and constantly looking down on them. Your DNephew is actually helping your DD. Imagine if something really serious actually happened and your DD was left to sort it out on her own. That would hardly work out well would it? She could be seriously hurt.

ElinoristhenewEnid · 29/08/2021 22:01

@kwiksavenofrillsusername 😂😂😂 re posh twats!

Cantbelieveit101 · 30/08/2021 08:23

You need to stand up for your daughter. If you allow her family to be rude to her how are you going to protect her with the rest of society.

PallasStrand · 30/08/2021 08:27

Look, the important thing is to push your elder nephew off the nearest cliff. Everything will be better then. It will also halve your food bill.

While you’re at it, let your niece run the gang in his stead. It will take her mind off prettifying caves and putting flowers in tidied caravans.

BillinaTheChickenQueen · 30/08/2021 08:33

I am sure it will all be fine if you make sure the dc are in bed by a decent time.
Then you and your scientist husband can drink wine and watch love island.

PallasStrand · 30/08/2021 08:34

@BillinaTheChickenQueen

I am sure it will all be fine if you make sure the dc are in bed by a decent time. Then you and your scientist husband can drink wine and watch love island.
Quentin should be on Love Island. In a mankini. They could film on Kirrin!
BillinaTheChickenQueen · 30/08/2021 08:41

Quentin should be on Love Island. In a mankini. They could film on Kirrin!
They certainly could.
Quentin would be the brooding cantankerous cunty presenter.

Blitzes · 30/08/2021 08:47

I’m not sure what’s made me laugh more then problem being written from Fanny’s perspective or the posters than think this is an real scenario

OP just send them off on their bikes with a packed lunch to some old railway lines or point them in the direction of a slightly dodgy looking travelling circus I’m sure they’ll find some adventures

Howshouldibehave · 30/08/2021 08:50

@SunbathingDragon

I’m going to be pedantic here, and point out Aunt Fanny owned the island. I do wonder why she owned it, and not her brother (Julian, Dick and Anne’s father). Did this cause a big family feud which is why the children didn’t know about the existence of their cousins for a decade or so?

I’d forgotten this and there was no logic for her owning it, or why they didn’t know of their existence for so long.

I think the island was Aunt Fanny’s. The children’s father was Uncle Quentin’s brother.
Fredoftheforest · 30/08/2021 08:54

Yes Quentin is the uncle. He married Fanny, whose family have lived in that area forever and still own the island, the cottage and a farm.

Currently ploughing through these atrocious books with my kids.