Is SIL being a CF?

[Totesfabulous]

We live in a seaside area and every summer holiday, without fail, SIL comes up with some convoluted reason why her 3 DC (my nephews and niece) should come to stay with us for an extended period. They're aged between 10-13, so in a way it's nice for my DD to have some company her own age, but at the same time I do feel like she's being a bit of a CF here, as she expects me to feed them - and they all eat ENORMOUS meals and they do have a habit of going off and getting into scrapes so I'm forever worrying about them.

My eldest nephew is somewhat opinionated and does try and tell my DD - who is saying she wants to identify as a boy, but that's another thread - what to do, which inevitably leads to a row. Dniece is sweet , but does tend to cry and get upset easily. My husband is a scientist and works ridiculously long hours, so it's just me doing everything, and we also have a large dog who needs a lot of exercise.

AIBU to tell SIL that I can no longer have them all in the school holidays?

@Skiptheheartsandflowers

Send them to camp out on that nearby island your husband owns! They'll have a whale of a time.

I’m going to be pedantic here, and point out Aunt Fanny owned the island. I do wonder why she owned it, and not her brother (Julian, Dick and Anne’s father). Did this cause a big family feud which is why the children didn’t know about the existence of their cousins for a decade or so?

It wouldn't be so bad if eldest DN wasn't quite so domineering. As well as making anti- trans remarks (telling DC that they are a girl, no matter how hard they try to look like a boy, he also made some awful comments about the travellers who are staying in the field up the road. It's so embarrassing!

Maybe if you got an Important Science job like your absent husband, you could put your daughter in holiday club and tell SIL to bugger off and let her kids sleep in some heather on her watch for a change? I mean, the kids are all old enough for school so you really need to think about your pension.

Will the travellers hear his awful comments though?

@HestersSamplerofCarrots

Maybe if you got an Important Science job like your absent husband, you could put your daughter in holiday club and tell SIL to bugger off and let her kids sleep in some heather on her watch for a change? I mean, the kids are all old enough for school so you really need to think about your pension.

Eh? Where does it say the OP doesn't work? And aren't 13 year olds a little too old for holiday club anyway?

Can someone explain the Enid B jokes? I haven't read one of her books in decades so these comments are way over my head!

Remember Grange Hill? Just say no

Say you don't think you can cope with the three on your own as you foumd it very hard last time.

@Hulkynothunky - the whole thread is being written from the point of view of aunt fanny, one of the adult characters in the famous five sequence of books by Enid blyton.

@Bobmonkfish

Just palm them off onto a neighbouring small aircraft owner for a few days OP.

Bill Smugs wasn't in these . . . You're thinking of the kids with the parrot.

[quote Fredoftheforest]@Hulkynothunky - the whole thread is being written from the point of view of aunt fanny, one of the adult characters in the famous five sequence of books by Enid blyton.[/quote]
So its a made up problem?

Trouble is you never learn - every holiday they go off by themselves and you think they could never get into an adventure - how wrong you are!

YANBU. If you don't put your foot down, they will be back every holiday (the next 21 if memory serves me correctly).

Those children are having the sorts of adventures that they will talk about for years. Plenty of fresh air and exercise. Perhaps if Quentin was a bit less of a boffin he could help with the picnic making.

@tilly18101 I think that would spoil the plot though

Oh we're still doing these threads are we 🙄

At that age they are perfectly capable of going off on a camping holiday on their own. Just put them on their bikes with camping gear and wave them off. The local farmers wife will be thrilled to host a bunch of posh twats and make them elaborate picnics.

YANBU! Put a stop to it this summer.

D’oh

Children these days are far too cosseted. Pop them on their bikes, fill up their knapsacks with snacks and send them off for the day, job done. Poor SIL can't do that in the -sniff- town. And teach DD to speak up for themself - a few stock phrases like 'I'm as good as any boy' should do the trick.

I’m going to be pedantic here, and point out Aunt Fanny owned the island. I do wonder why she owned it, and not her brother (Julian, Dick and Anne’s father). Did this cause a big family feud which is why the children didn’t know about the existence of their cousins for a decade or so?

I’d forgotten this and there was no logic for her owning it, or why they didn’t know of their existence for so long.

I imagine they're mostly out of your hair, with the dog so you can get on with all the housework.

Pack them off early with a picnic: hardboiled eggs, bread, cheese and tongue high protein and they probably won't come home until nightfall.

Homemade lemonade is cheap to make if you get lemon and sugar from aldi. Frankly they probably should just drink water rather than lashings and lashings of ginger ale.

And stop baking for them, you have enough to do and the sugar is probably making them eat more. Tell them they can pick blackberries whilst out on their walks.

I think if you care to look you will see that Anne is being shoehorned into taking on the motherly role which you clearly don't wish to take on. The weight of responsibility she clearly feels towards the creature comforts and well being of her risk taking siblings and cousin are setting get up for a life of subservience !

Oh for goodness sake they’ll be fine - I wouldn’t even ask them where they are going each day, tbh, just get cook to do them a decent picnic and away they go. The dog will let you know if anything goes awry.

Blimey, when me and my DH went missing once for a whole year my lot went and lived on an uninhabited island with some young hooligan. They were fine OP, just chill.

Just say no. I know it's not easy but honestly, your DC need to see you having a backbone, especially if one of them makes your DC uncomfortable.

I must admit, it's much easier when they're out of my hair. They're planning to go out on the sea in our small boat tomorrow. It's meant to be a bit choppy and we don't have life jackets, but I'm sure they'll be fine. They can all swim.