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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder what the weirdest thing a colleague has ever said to you?

115 replies

RainbowBriteUk · 28/08/2021 17:42

My ex-CEO who hated me said she thought I had beautifully stunning eyes but not in a lesbian way. Disrespectful shit in all ways she was.

Same ex-CEO said lots of other batty shit!

OP posts:

Emmenelle · 28/08/2021 21:35

In my early 20s, i worked in a small office of about 5 with a female boss in her early 30s.

I had just broken up with a long term boyfriend, and had lost weight and was having a great social life which was quite often the focus of office banter.

One day, one of the guys was joking around saying I shouldn't lose anymore weight as I looked like an emaciated waif... without looking up from her desk or missing a beat, my boss said loudly "she's still got a fat arse though" everyone went silent... it was awful. She also once said that one of her mates that worked on our site in a different office described me as "the really pretty one" and again she said loudly in our office "I definitely wouldn't say that".

Cow

ThreeLittleDots · 28/08/2021 21:35

Oh Christ these stories... I was thinking of looking for another role which doesn't involve talking to the idiot public, but am realising that my lovely all-female co-workers are absolute diamonds!

RicherThanYew · 28/08/2021 21:36

My boss told me about bum fisting, I told him to shut up because that's not a real thing and he showed me a video. Nearly vommed.

cakewitch · 28/08/2021 21:36

We don't need you here.. we were alright before you came here.

Serena1977 · 28/08/2021 21:38

When I was open about my past mental health problems and diagnosis of OCD, one work colleague asked whether I was likely to try and kill my colleagues "like they do in America"

Was very upset and angry.

FeatheredHope · 28/08/2021 21:40

I was in our Frankfurt office in a meeting with senior management. Two of them started talking, in German, about the size of my breasts and how they’d like to motorboat me. Shame they didn’t know I spoke German.

Although pathetically they blushed but that was all.

3Br1tnee · 28/08/2021 21:40

A colleague was taking pictures of us for the website or something, I don't know what. She took a couple when she got to me and asked me to pick one. I joked something about any one, it doesn't matter, they'll all be as bad as each other or something along those lines, meaning I'm not photogenic.

She called me in to her office the next day, saying she's never been spoken to like that in all her however many years in employment yadayada. Proper went off on one. Very strange.

So strange, I thought fuck this, I don't come to work to be spoken to like a schoolchild and I got my things together, left, got straight on the phone to some agencies and started at a new job the following morning. She's lucky o didnt tell her to go fuck herself too.

That whole office was strange, all of them.

mintyneb · 28/08/2021 21:41

I had been diagnosed with breast cancer. Whilst waiting for my treatment to start I carried on going in to the office as normal. In conversation with my boss he asked how I was doing. I said it felt very strange feeling normal but knowing that inside there was something that could potentially kill me.

'Well, we all get in cars every day....' was his reply.

Wafflethefuckinwonderdog · 28/08/2021 21:41

After returning to work after miscarriage number three, it was suggested by HR that I "get a dog."

KarenofSparta · 28/08/2021 21:44

Some of these aren't just weird they're downright cruel. Unbelievable.

Mammyofasuperbaby · 28/08/2021 21:53

When I announced my pregnancy to my team one person piped up and asked if my boyfriend was the father (also a member of the team). Told her that of course he was, so she asked if i was sure.
Turns out that she was projecting onto me because she announced her pregnancy a week later and half the men in the department freaked out and the other half were sharing stories about how she was hounding them to sleep with her and wouldn't take no for an answer
My manager at the time also asked why I needed the toilet so much (pregnant) and could I just stick to my breaks or was my pregnancy going to be an inconvenience

Blue4YOU · 28/08/2021 22:10

Jesus Christ- we work (worked in my case) with a bunch of crazy mofos

user1471538283 · 28/08/2021 22:13

My awful narcissist, clothes copying, bullying, odd line manager said that she thought we were very similar. She wore party dresses to work, the floor shook as she walked around, was older than I, stones more than I. We were absolutely nothing alike ...

Butteredtoast55 · 28/08/2021 22:20

Many, many moons ago a fellow teacher had a particular phrase to describe the female children who I suppose you might say were attractive, pretty girls but not necessarily academic 'Good thing she's so bed-worthy she won't need brains'.
I was so shocked that I have never really got that out of my head.

Toomanyradishes · 28/08/2021 22:29

A male manager told me in great detail how he would like to rape me and then when I went home he was sat outside my house in his car, I never went back in

A female manager told me I needed to look on the bright side of life when I told her I was having an early miscarriage and then wouldnt let me leave work because she wanted to leave early because she felt like it. In hindsight I should have told her I was going home sick but I was too upset so i sat there for another 2 hours trying to hold myself together for the team, whilst miscarrying. It wasnt unexpected and it was very early on but I never forgave her and as soon as i could transfer to another team I did because of her complete lack of empathy

Livpool · 28/08/2021 22:41

Not spoken but I found out in work that my lovely dad had cancer. I cried and my manager poked me! I was crying and got poked

Nipplynoranoo · 28/08/2021 22:46

“Is that shit pouring out of the ceiling?”

Something terrible had happened to the soil pipe and entire company’s ones and twos was cascading through the ceiling tiles.

Nipplynoranoo · 28/08/2021 22:47

No reflection on the colleague in question, of course, but still, an odd thing to hear.

Hekatestorch · 28/08/2021 22:50

'Why is there cock on my wall?'

Said to me when I took a photo of the new branding, that had been put on the office walls and sent it to our Senior Site Manager. It was a zoomed in and cropped photo of someone's hand holding a device. It genuinely looked like a cock.

Which is why I took the photo and sent it.

Sunshinealligator · 28/08/2021 22:51

I was told by an old supervisor that I said Hello wrong. She continued to tell me how to say hello. English is my first language, and no difference in accent or anything I just said hello wrong apparently.

I work in the construction industry, I wanted to work for a particular company, I knew my way in was through an employment agency that DH works through. I spoke with the recruiter who DH deals with. He made all the right noises, said he could definitely get me in the door.

Several months down the line, the conversation went like this " Alligator, I think you need to drop this. "Its a male dominated industry, its a man's job. This job will always be given to men, you just cannot do it. I'll let you know if they need a secretary" .... I went to another agency. I was put forward for a role, I took on responsibilities as a project manager whilst working as a site manager, the big bosses are so impressed, and the best thing is he knows I'm in the position I wanted to be in and I'm flourishing. Big bosses have called him and asked if I am available, he called to ask if I would accept a contract as I've been specifically asked for...no was the answer.

santabetterwashhishands · 28/08/2021 22:51

I had a surprise baby (I didn't know I was pregnant until 26 weeks) at the grand age of 41.
My work colleagues said what you going to do with it when it's born because your too old to care for it!
I couldn't resist by replying I'm selling her on ebay 🤣

Fleetheart · 28/08/2021 22:54

a male colleague (who I did not like), wrote “tear don’t get cut” on my maternity leaving card. yuk.

FindingMeno · 28/08/2021 23:00

On a very conversational way, " I had a sexy dream last night about you"
He wasn't coming on to me, obviously just felt the need to share

Papergirl1968 · 28/08/2021 23:08

I used to work in an office where we were a closely knit team, and it was a friendly, jokey atmosphere.
We had some sort of daft quiz or competition once, and a colleague shouted, “The winner gets to sleep with Sophie!” Sophie was the pretty young girl of the office. Everyone laughed, including Sophie herself.
Another colleague then shouted, “And the loser gets to sleep with Papergirl!” I can’t really remember how I or anyone else reacted, but looking back I think what a bastard. This was years ago but it still stings that I was considered the office dog.

MrsSchadenfreude · 28/08/2021 23:11

I wouldn’t know where to start. I did come back from lunch early one day when I was much younger, to find one of my work colleagues sniffing my seat.

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