To have given pharmacist short shrift?

[itsgettingwierd]

Enter pharmacy

Me: Good evening, I have a prescription to collect.

Pharmacist: name please

Me: first name surname

Pharmacist: was it sent today

Me: last week.

Comes back with it, checks address and I have my card ready to pay.

As I'm walking towards till she asks

"Does he pay for his prescriptions"

Me for a second. "It's mine and yes I do"

Pharmacist: "well I just read the name" with a very defensive tone.

Me: shame you didn't also read the word before that says Miss.

Now I have a name that's unisex that isn't particularly unusual in this day and age (less so than when I grew up!) and people have made presumptions before and it doesn't bother me.

But I was actually annoyed she'd taken the effort to read the name and assume it belonged to someone else - rather than the person actually asking for it - and when I said it was mine act as though I was wrong to say that and retort the way she did as if annoyed at me saying that.

I'm having a rough time at the minute and can be over sensitive so I need the collective honesty on MN to tell me I'm right to have been annoyed or hand me a grip (but kindly )

I'm going for Jim @Hobnobsandbroomstick

@DarlingFell

But it's odd that everyone's so intent in justifying her snapping at me for just pointing out the prescription was mine and I had to pay

Well I’m guessing that you came across as a little sharp to her in your response.. you used the emoji in your OP, which is often used on MN to be rude to others, which makes me think your response was snappy or abrupt or who knows, but she was defensive.. why, what was she defending? Be honest, were you a little curt in your response to her question about payment which resulted in a defensive retort from the pharmacist?

I used the confused emoji because I was confused she'd said "does he pay for his prescriptions"

All I said was the prescription was for me and yes I had to pay.

She handed it to me whilst snapping "well I just read the name"

I looked at the label as it said "miss Taylor Grace smith" so I responded (clearly unfairly) it was a shame she hadn't also read the Miss bit.

I'm use to people thinking I may be male. But at least when I point out that I'm actually that person they usually have the good Grace to accept they made an incorrect assumption and not blame me for having that name

You didn't say she snapped, you said you thought she was being defensive. That implies it was your opinion. Did she snap or was she unsure and trying to double check based on her mistake? You did set out the sarcastic reply you gave, and you said you gave her short shrift in the title. People are basing their responses on what you originally said. Which was not that she snapped.

I'm going to go with Francis.

I didn't know Francis was a unisex name until a few years ago; I'd only known men with the name up until then. Also recently found our that Leslie is unisex, thought it was only a woman's name before.

It's an easy mistake for the pharmacist to make.

@itsgettingwierd

Someone wearing a dress who is described as miss on a prescription isn't identifying as male. The Miss was the clue.

And the same can be said for a name. She shouldn't have assumed then that a unisex name meant I was identifying as male. wink

Like I said before. I accept my reaction was OTT

And she didn't? She didn't think you were the patient so she didn't make any assumptions based on your dress or appearance. She misspoke/made a mistake/you misinterpreted her tone/you were sharper than you thought when correcting her. I'm glad you accept your reaction was OTT and I'm sorry you're having a tough time in your personal life. I really think you need to let this go now

@Lactarius

I'll admit to be somewhat biased (*) but it was only a pharmacist and not a real person so don't worry too much.

(*) 4 Years at the London School of Pharmacy demonstrated that the pharmacy students spent far too long in the practice suite playing shops when they could have spent that time being stunningly attractive, scientifically awesome and generally better people by learning toxicology in the basement with the rest of us.

You win the "first post to make me laugh out loud for ages" prize

@Hobnobsandbroomstick

Sounds like you were both a bit rude, oh well.

YABU for not telling us the name!

I'm not telling you my surname.

But imagine a prescription written out to Miss Ashley Rose ....

[quote ashmts]@itsgettingwierd

Someone wearing a dress who is described as miss on a prescription isn't identifying as male. The Miss was the clue.

And the same can be said for a name. She shouldn't have assumed then that a unisex name meant I was identifying as male. wink

Like I said before. I accept my reaction was OTT

And she didn't? She didn't think you were the patient so she didn't make any assumptions based on your dress or appearance. She misspoke/made a mistake/you misinterpreted her tone/you were sharper than you thought when correcting her. I'm glad you accept your reaction was OTT and I'm sorry you're having a tough time in your personal life. I really think you need to let this go now[/quote]
But that's the point too. She read the name and assumed the prescription wasn't for me based on her own assumptions over the name.

Turned out she was wrong and when I said it was mine she could have said nothing or simply "oh sorry" (like most people who make the same wrong assumption do!).

Instead she got annoyed at ME for her making an incorrect assumption.

But I accept I shouldn't have snapped back as that did make me just as bad!

Can't believe I've just wasted 10 minutes reading this thread. OP you clearly believe you're blameless in this situation, but you aren't. Whether or not you were right to be annoyed that the pharmacist was defensive becomes totally irrelevant due to how you responded to her afterwards, which was far more rude than anything she did. And your chip on the shoulder 'oh I'm not allowed to stand up for myself' statement is just making everyone eye roll because it totally misses the point everyone is trying to make. Have a cup of tea and start tomorrow afresh.

"I'm not telling you my surname."

Aren't all surnames unisex, so it's not relevant

"But imagine a prescription written out to Miss Ashley Rose ...."

She probably just skim read the first and last name, easy enough to do. I know that Ashley is a unisex name, but I've never met a woman whose called it.

@Hobnobsandbroomstick

"I'm not telling you my surname."

Aren't all surnames unisex, so it's not relevant

"But imagine a prescription written out to Miss Ashley Rose ...."

She probably just skim read the first and last name, easy enough to do. I know that Ashley is a unisex name, but I've never met a woman whose called it.

I know loads but they are younger and some are spelt Ashleigh.

I only know 1 male called Ashley and he's also younger.

I'm not even bothered she made an assumption - as I said it happens all the time. Most people are genuinely surprised when I respond to that name and many aren't great at hiding it

But also most don't blame for their mistakes and snap at me that it's my names fault!

And I don't usually snap back either and need to find a balance to stop me doing it again.

I've known several female Ashleys.

Sorry- You over reacted.
A good friend of ours is a pharmacist and they are being worked to death since covid started. I have never seen her so down. The strain of covid is bringing them all down. I am sorry you are not feeling well, but the pharmacists are human too. We need to remind ourselves to all be kind to one another.
Btw, I have a unisex name too. I am past getting annoyed with the mr and Mrs now. No point getting annoying about it.

@tigger1001

For me, it's the fact that the pharmacist didn't apologise when they realised their mistake. For that part I can see why you would take that to heart.

Enjoy your chocolate and try and put it out your head

I agree. It's hardly a stretch to say "Oh sorry! Silly me!" and defuse the situation (even if you're silently thinking "blame your bloody parents mate, I didn't give you an unusual-for-a-woman name") If I was bothered about building rapport I'd probably say "I'm more used to seeing that name for men, I like it for a woman though, really suits you!"

But equally OP, you saying "Shame you didn't read the bit that says Miss" was a bit snippy. Although it does depend on tone of voice.

I remember once I was in a shopping hell mall food court with a friend and she wanted a coffee. We went to one of the outlets and she ordered a coffee and I ordered a Diet Coke. It was very busy, so when I saw the server put a cup under the original Coke tap I didn't say "Oh wait" because I thought she might be pouring it for someone else. However she then put it on our tray. I said "I asked for Diet Coke". Server said "That is Diet Coke." I said "No it's not, I've just watched you pour it from the Original Coke tap." She rolled her eyes,dramatically dumped out the cup and shouted "Boss! Wastage!" and refilled from the Diet Coke tap while maintaining maximum pissed-off body language.

When she placed it on our tray with a flourish she announced "I think you'll find Diet Coke and Original Coke have exactly the same calories actually." She was in no way prepared for the lesson in nutritional information and how high sugar affects diabetics...

I've had this defensive attitude from customer facing staff a few times and I always want to say - "Look, I've worked in customer service of one kind or another for over 30 years. You can either decide you're going to give each customer the best service you can, and seek out advice and coaching on how to do that. Or you can silently resent every customer you deal with, because you are fundamentally unsuited to this sort of role, and your mental health will suffer massively. So do yourself the biggest favour of your life and get into another career."

I've never said that to someone serving me as a customer though. Partly because I don't give away my consultancy for nowt!

@ilovesooty

I've known several female Ashleys.

Unisex names are actually quite common round where I live!

I work in outreach education field and I learnt along time ago if you get any Ashley's, Kelly's, Jamie's, Taylor's, Mackenzies or Morgan's etc come up on your books not to assume anything until you know!

I even went to meet a family with a Jade many years ago who was actually male. Lesson learnt for me on that one

But equally OP, you saying "Shame you didn't read the bit that says Miss" was a bit snippy. Although it does depend on tone of voice.

Oh I was totally snippy. I'm not going to defend that or pretend otherwise. I even surprised myself hence why I asked advice because it was very unlike me.

But I've also never had anyone try to blame my name before when I've simply pointed out that is in fact me. As if it's my fault they made a mistake

"Unisex names are actually quite common round where I live! "

So she was right to double check if she was confused and had misread your title then!!

@frogswimming

"Unisex names are actually quite common round where I live! "

So she was right to double check if she was confused and had misread your title then!!

You're clearly her 🤣🤣

She didn't double check.

She handed me my prescription that I'd asked for and was waiting to pay for and said "does he have to pay"

Because she read the name and she presumed that meant I was collecting it for someone else and when I said it was for me - she got annoyed and snapped at me that she'd "just read the name".

You need to get over it and stop over thinking it.

It’s done. Try to forget it.

When you are struggling everything seems overwhelming. Is anyone supporting you?

@itsgettingwierdI. It must be something that pharmacists do. I always haven his problem when I collect prescriptions, My name is double barrelled with the first part being a man's name, think Sarah Thomas-Smith. The pharmacist always thinks it is for Mr Thomas Smith(fook knows where they think the Sarah comes into the equation) This only seems to happen at the pharmacy. It also happens to my DD when she picks up her(birth control) pills, if she picks up other meds at same time they are her if Mr Smith pays for his prescription. Now I realise that some trans men may still take the pill, but if my obviously female child is picking up the meds why assume they are for a male, despite the bloody word Miss being there.

^^ Ask her, not are her!

@Seesawmummadaw

It’s done. Try to forget it.

When you are struggling everything seems overwhelming. Is anyone supporting you?

Nope! I reached out to GP (which took a lot of effort) who referred me to local MH support. They did an assessment and said that despite me clearly struggling I was doing all the right things to manage it and they couldn't offer me the employment support service (despite work clearly not supporting me) because I didn't reach the criteria level of MH need overall.

This thread has actually helped though. It's made me realise why I felt so uncomfortable - because I'm really not a snappy person and took myself by surprise.

But I'm also having a good giggle at posters tieing themselves in knots trying to justify why someone cannot assume "miss" means a prescription is for a female but its totally acceptable for them to look at a name and assume it must be for somebody else who is in fact male. MN double standards are good for a giggle even in the darkest times 🤣

[quote WestendVBroadway]@itsgettingwierdI. It must be something that pharmacists do. I always haven his problem when I collect prescriptions, My name is double barrelled with the first part being a man's name, think Sarah Thomas-Smith. The pharmacist always thinks it is for Mr Thomas Smith(fook knows where they think the Sarah comes into the equation) This only seems to happen at the pharmacy. It also happens to my DD when she picks up her(birth control) pills, if she picks up other meds at same time they are her if Mr Smith pays for his prescription. Now I realise that some trans men may still take the pill, but if my obviously female child is picking up the meds why assume they are for a male, despite the bloody word Miss being there.[/quote]
That's exactly it.

They aren't allowed to assume Miss means female but apparently assuming a unisex name means male is ok

My ds is double barrelled. We've had plenty of issues with that too when they ask for surname and I say worthington-smith and they look under "S" and wonder why they can't find it. I keep repeating "wothington -smith" and suggest they look under W and I often get "oh I thought worthington was his first name". I never get why when they've asked for his surname and that's exactly what I've given 🤷‍♀️🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

She sounds like a delight, she should have apologised for being wrong. Amused she didn’t realise it was clearly for a female, bearing in mind what she does for a living. In my line of work we might do 12-16 hours a day so she hardly does long hours really