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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have given pharmacist short shrift?

151 replies

itsgettingwierd · 27/08/2021 18:50

Enter pharmacy

Me: Good evening, I have a prescription to collect.

Pharmacist: name please

Me: first name surname

Pharmacist: was it sent today

Me: last week.

Comes back with it, checks address and I have my card ready to pay.

As I'm walking towards till she asks

"Does he pay for his prescriptions"

Me Confused for a second. "It's mine and yes I do"

Pharmacist: "well I just read the name" with a very defensive tone.

Me: shame you didn't also read the word before that says Miss.

Now I have a name that's unisex that isn't particularly unusual in this day and age (less so than when I grew up!) and people have made presumptions before and it doesn't bother me.

But I was actually annoyed she'd taken the effort to read the name and assume it belonged to someone else - rather than the person actually asking for it - and when I said it was mine act as though I was wrong to say that and retort the way she did as if annoyed at me saying that.

I'm having a rough time at the minute and can be over sensitive so I need the collective honesty on MN to tell me I'm right to have been annoyed or hand me a grip (but kindly Grin)

OP posts:
Lactarius · 27/08/2021 20:28

@fiftiesmum

I bet you wouldn't dare be as rude to the GP . You would probably be the first to complain if handed someone else's items.
Doesn't that make it even more important for the pharmacist to read the full name on the script?
Original poster
itsgettingwierd · 27/08/2021 20:29

@HomesForHedgehogs

I think you were very rude, tbh. With a unisex name you should expect this.
Even when it says Miss?
OP posts:
Original poster
itsgettingwierd · 27/08/2021 20:34

@SeoultoSeoul

You over reacted, why don't you tell us what's really bothering you and we will see if we can help with that.
Thanks. That's very kind.

My mum and dad both have had cancer. Mum now terminal. My ds has been diagnosed with a degenerative neurological condition. (Described as a cousin to MND).

Work have had a restructure and I kept my role with apparent full marks on the skills audit. But they've increased the expectations if the role and cut the hours very slightly. I'm asking for time away from other aspects to complete it but I'm not getting anywhere. I'm ending up WFH for free to complete it.

I just feel as if everyone is expecting everything from me and not listening to me saying I cannot cope with it all.

So when someone made a genuine mistake and then couldn't even be bothered to either say nothing or just simply say sorry - but decided to justify their mistake by saying they read the name (but ignored the title right there) it made me feel even more invisible and unimportant.

But this thread has just confirmed that. That it's not ok for me to speak up for myself and expect people to make some kind of effort to respect me or how I feel.

It's just something I'm gonna have to work through somehow. I just wish I knew how. 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
frogswimming · 27/08/2021 20:35

"Even when it says Miss?"

Have you never misread anything?

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 27/08/2021 20:35

Don’t give it another thought, OP. We all* do things we wonder about afterwards - was I right, could I have said it more pleasantly? Especially if we’ve been having a rough time anyway.

*Well, most of us, anyway - those of us without Perfect Person Haloes.
Relax and enjoy your evening. 💐

DifferentHair · 27/08/2021 20:36

@itsgettingwierd

'Even when it says Miss?'

Yes. Because people aren't perfect and they make mistakes. They're not trying to ruin your day, they're just getting through their own.

It's unfortunate that your own challenges haven't made you more empathetic or aware of other peoples. You have no idea if that pharmacist is also a lone parent or has health issues of their own or just lost a relative or anything.

frogswimming · 27/08/2021 20:37

"But this thread has just confirmed that. That it's not ok for me to speak up for myself and expect people to make some kind of effort to respect me or how I feel. "

It's ok to speak up for yourself if you are polite. Not to give someone 'short shrift' and be sarcastic about their mistake in misreading your title as well as your name.

GreyhoundG1rl · 27/08/2021 20:37

Doesn't that make it even more important for the pharmacist to read the full name on the script
Would the Miss really have made much difference? They check your address as well (well, mine do).
The chances of getting hold of the wrong drugs because the "Miss" was ignored are just about zilch.

Original poster
itsgettingwierd · 27/08/2021 20:40

@frogswimming

"But this thread has just confirmed that. That it's not ok for me to speak up for myself and expect people to make some kind of effort to respect me or how I feel. "

It's ok to speak up for yourself if you are polite. Not to give someone 'short shrift' and be sarcastic about their mistake in misreading your title as well as your name.

But all I said was the prescription was mine and yes I pay.

She was the one who snapped at me "well I read the name".

I admit me snapping back maybe wasn't great but she was handing a prescription to someone so I thought she should know I was the one who it intended for.

OP posts:
Original poster
itsgettingwierd · 27/08/2021 20:41

@GreyhoundG1rl

Doesn't that make it even more important for the pharmacist to read the full name on the script Would the Miss really have made much difference? They check your address as well (well, mine do). The chances of getting hold of the wrong drugs because the "Miss" was ignored are just about zilch.
Maybe not but as the prescription was 3 months worth of northisterone the sex of the person it was intended for probably did actual feature somewhat in importance 🤣🤣🤣
OP posts:
MichelleScarn · 27/08/2021 20:43

@frogswimming

"But this thread has just confirmed that. That it's not ok for me to speak up for myself and expect people to make some kind of effort to respect me or how I feel. "

It's ok to speak up for yourself if you are polite. Not to give someone 'short shrift' and be sarcastic about their mistake in misreading your title as well as your name.

Oh bloody hell, we're going down the poor me, poor me route... 'it's not OK for me to speak up for myself ' Hmm

Drama llama to the nth degree!!

frogswimming · 27/08/2021 20:47

"Me: shame you didn't also read the word before that says Miss. "

That is sarcastic. She used a tone you took to be defensive. That's your judgement. All you can really be definite on is that she was double checking because she wasn't clear on it.

Anyway, you asked if you were being over sensitive because you're having a hard time. The answer is definitely yes! Stop worrying about it. It's a small interaction. You have bigger things to be upset about. But maybe that is why you are worrying about this instead?

PharmacySmarmacy · 27/08/2021 20:49

A) it's the Friday before bank holiday Monday, most of us have had hellish days so we are just being efficient. This brings me to the below...

B) we go by the name and confirm with address, we can't use the miss Mrs mr because we do have patients that are transgender and transitioning, so the pronouns are entirely irrelevant. If you have a name that could apply to both, we'd usually say do they pay, today however has been busy so apologies if we don't say they rather than he/she. We are tired and we take a lot of abuse.

Original poster
itsgettingwierd · 27/08/2021 20:53

@PharmacySmarmacy

A) it's the Friday before bank holiday Monday, most of us have had hellish days so we are just being efficient. This brings me to the below...

B) we go by the name and confirm with address, we can't use the miss Mrs mr because we do have patients that are transgender and transitioning, so the pronouns are entirely irrelevant. If you have a name that could apply to both, we'd usually say do they pay, today however has been busy so apologies if we don't say they rather than he/she. We are tired and we take a lot of abuse.

But I didn't mind that she made the wrong assumption. We all make mistakes.

But when I said the prescription was for me she got annoyed with me about her mistake. She snapped at me and so I snapped back. I don't usually snap back.

But then I also don't think you'd assume someone having northisterone with Miss as their pronoun - was in fact male Wink

I can 100% accept that my response to her was OTT.

But it's odd that everyone's so intent in justifying her snapping at me for just pointing out the prescription was mine and I had to pay.

OP posts:
ashmts · 27/08/2021 20:54

@PharmacySmarmacy Completely agree and was going to say the same, particularly with a script for norethisterone. Not sure why OP finds it hysterical, someone who identifies as male could be prescribed that. Perhaps the pharmacist has been caught out before.

RobinPenguins · 27/08/2021 20:55

This is a total non event. No apologies needed by anyone. It really, really doesn’t matter.

Hercisback · 27/08/2021 20:55

A lot of pharmacists don't look at titles and go straight to the forename and surname. You were overly rude to her, does it really matter?

ashmts · 27/08/2021 20:56

@itsgettingwierd But then I also don't think you'd assume someone having northisterone with Miss as their pronoun - was in fact male Wink

Trans-men may be prescribed norethisterone to stop periods. Titles may not have been updated on the GP/pharmacy system. You're not being as clever as you think you are.

frogswimming · 27/08/2021 21:02

"But it's odd that everyone's so intent in justifying her snapping at me for just pointing out the prescription was mine and I had to pay."

You said you have her 'short shrift' and set out your reply which was sarcastic about reading miss incorrectly. You didn't say she snapped, you said your opinion was that she had a 'defensive' tone.

Original poster
itsgettingwierd · 27/08/2021 21:05

[quote ashmts]@PharmacySmarmacy Completely agree and was going to say the same, particularly with a script for norethisterone. Not sure why OP finds it hysterical, someone who identifies as male could be prescribed that. Perhaps the pharmacist has been caught out before.[/quote]
Someone who identifies as male we'll be. If they biological sex of a female.

Someone wearing a dress who is described as miss on a prescription isn't identifying as male. The Miss was the clue.

And the same can be said for a name. She shouldn't have assumed then that a unisex name meant I was identifying as male. Wink

Like I said before. I accept my reaction was OTT.

I didn't mind her mistake.

But I don't and won't agree that when I said the prescription was for me there was any need for her to be rude to me. All the usual (very nice and very helpful) pharmacists in this pharmacy have always asked everyone if they are collecting for themselves for someone else.

In fact all the usual staff are amazing. When my ds prescription for baclofen went missing during LD1 they went out of their way to help over a few days because the receptionists wouldn't discuss prescriptions over the phone and I'd ordered 10 days in advance and ds didn't have enough to last another 10 days to re request. It's not a drug you can just stop due to the risks of doing that.

I've never seen this one before.

OP posts:
Original poster
itsgettingwierd · 27/08/2021 21:09

[quote ashmts]**@itsgettingwierd* But then I also don't think you'd assume someone having northisterone with Miss as their pronoun - was in fact male Wink *

Trans-men may be prescribed norethisterone to stop periods. Titles may not have been updated on the GP/pharmacy system. You're not being as clever as you think you are.[/quote]
I'm not trying to be clever.

The type of drug hadn't even occurred to me until someone mentioned it.

And if we considering not assuming the Miss means I identify as female surely that's exactly the same theory that because my name says "Unisex name" they shouldn't also assume that means it's for a male? It's a very interesting thought I hadn't had before.

OP posts:
RoseGoldEagle · 27/08/2021 21:09

shame you didn't also read the word before that says Miss
She made a mistake and you responded pretty rudely. Sorry you’re having a hard time yourself, but I think you were the one who was a bit rude here.

Original poster
itsgettingwierd · 27/08/2021 21:10

@frogswimming

"But it's odd that everyone's so intent in justifying her snapping at me for just pointing out the prescription was mine and I had to pay."

You said you have her 'short shrift' and set out your reply which was sarcastic about reading miss incorrectly. You didn't say she snapped, you said your opinion was that she had a 'defensive' tone.

Yes after she said "does HE pay" and I said "it's for me and yes I do".

She was then rude to me and out of character I snapped back and then wondered if I'd over reacted.

But pointing out the prescription she'd handed to me was in fact for me isn't rude just because she assumed it was for a male because she assumed that based on the name.

OP posts:
DarlingFell · 27/08/2021 21:11

But it's odd that everyone's so intent in justifying her snapping at me for just pointing out the prescription was mine and I had to pay

Well I’m guessing that you came across as a little sharp to her in your response.. you used the Confused emoji in your OP, which is often used on MN to be rude to others, which makes me think your response was snappy or abrupt or who knows, but she was defensive.. why, what was she defending? Be honest, were you a little curt in your response to her question about payment which resulted in a defensive retort from the pharmacist?

Hobnobsandbroomstick · 27/08/2021 21:12

Sounds like you were both a bit rude, oh well.

YABU for not telling us the name!

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