Friend angry that I’m pregnant

[Hellotherebaby]

I’m newly pregnant which I am very excited about. It is very early so I had only told a couple of people. Most were thrilled for me. I never thought I would become pregnant. When I told my friend of nearly 18 years she was…angry. She asked me why would I have a baby right now? I thought my friend would be happy for me. I’ve supported her through everything she has chose to do. She does not want children and is not maternal. I am so happy to be pregnant but this has really got me down and made me feel disgusted in my friend. It’s like everything I do has to be ok’d by her first!

Drop her and move on. Be very careful of anyone who can't be genuinely happy for you. Most a friend because she couldn't cope with not being the centre of the universe at my daughters party. I also noticed how she changed when I was no longer at her beck and call due to a new relationship.

One less friend it seems, painful as that may be.

Once another close friends of ours asked when I was going to have a baby and she laughed and said she’s not ready for that and walked away. I was stunned.

I would have stepped back after that. no one gets to make that sort of decision for you

Going to guess that all of your other mutual friends just agree with her too to keep the peace. And that your husband refuses to which pisses her off and is why she doesn't like him.

She doesn't like you having an opinion, she is not your friend. As someone else said, she is your boss essentially. Move on from her, she is not worth it as she is not a friend sadly.

Congratulations on your pregnancy OP you must ditch this friend - she sounds a nightmare and very entitled. I’ve had friendships like this in the past!

I don't believe the 'friend' doesn't want children, because she has been so nasty to the OP. It's a weird defence mechanism.If she wasn't bothered about kids, she wouldn't have cared, and wouldn't have been so nasty. It's textbook.

In this case it's not. She's been nice to other people who have had kids, just not op. The main factor is loss of control over op. She started losing control once op got married it looks like and when op finally found her voice and started questioning her friend and disagreeing with her. It's not about not having children, it's about loss of control. She knows she won't see op as much now and she's not happy about it.

Ah. How difficult. Your friend obviously is reacting this way for a reason. Maybe she’s envious and what you have is what she’d like while defending its not? Or worried your relationship will change and she’ll lose the “you” she is friends with.

Ask her. Be honest. She what she says.

And if she can’t get over this, friendships do end. People outgrow one another. It’s incredibly sad though.I’ve had a friend “dump” me.

I was shocked but had to respect her choice. Xx

*See what she says.

Congrats OP! Amazing.

I had a friend like this once. We had been very closed, lived together for 3 years even. In the end I had to acknowledge the relationship was very unhealthy and becoming a bit toxic so I had to let it go any move on. I tried to talk to the friend about it and explained that if she needed me in the future I'd be there, but had to break away beyond this. When we lived together it culminated in various arguments because I had stayed at friends, had other friends, went on holiday, etc. She tried to control me in every way by the end of the third year. We had a huge argument about me staying an extra night when visiting my dying grandparents and not asking her permision first. I point out how unreasonable she was being and told her she was treating me like sh*t. Her response was that I was her friend so she gets to treat me however she likes and I have to accept it. There are a surprising number of ppl who feel this way sadly.
Not all ppl are meant t to be in our life forever. It's a hard one to accept but you'll be better for it.

Unfortunately Op being friends from a young age can be a mixed blessing. Sometimes it's lovely and you can always depend on each other, sometimes you've filled a certain role in the friendship and when you change the friendship can't survive. Your role was to be the easy going one who let her have her own way and made her feel important and in charge, now she's angry because you've found your voice, a Dh, and now a baby on the way.
Maybe she hoped if she complained about your DH enough you'd "see the light" and leave him and she could have her old pushover pal back and the baby just confirms this isn't going to happen. She'll be outraged when you can't go drinking and don't want to stay out late, it's all about her.
No need for a lot of drama, just see her less and less, be too busy, and let this toxic firendship fade away

@Hellotherebaby

My friend has a problem with gay/trans and unconventional relationships. My husband does not. He is not abusive towards me or anyone else

This is the sum and total of why one of your oldest friends dislikes your husband so extremely that she wouldn’t celebrate your pregnancy? Also, this is EXTREMELY non-specific. There are, as you’ll see on Mumsnet boards, plenty of gay women who are worried about the trans movement. I know they have justifications they don’t believe are hateful, like concern about children using hormone blockers before their bodies have fully developed or fear of in-tact men in women’s safe spaces. I DO NOT want an argument; these are just examples. Also, by unconventional relationships, you could mean that he’s saying you should be in an open relationship and your friend is worried about how this will affect you and has never heard you say you wanted an open relationship before. Or hell, maybe your friend is homophobic/transphobic, but if that was the case, it seems unlikely you’d ever have been friends with her? But I would somehow bet £ that whatever “unconventional relationship” means is why she’s worried about you and your pregnancy. And maybe that’s unfair of her; I have no idea.