Just found out I'm 3 weeks pregnant and have weddings to attend !

[woolyj]

I've just found out I'm expecting again.

I've not missed my period yet, so it's such early days. I have to attend a wedding in a couple of days and it's going to be so obvious if I don't drink. But I can't drink, right ? I know most women wouldn't suspect a pregnancy this early, so probably would drink- but I just can't do it, seeing as I know I am.

It will raise many eyebrows that I'm not drinking.

I also have three other weddings in the next few weeks ! It's going to be so tough and so obvious !! ( if I stay pregnant )

What kind of excuses work best??

Dont excuse. Nurse a glass. Swap glasses with dh. Or drink cocktails that are just mocktails.

Say you are on antibiotics that don't allow drinking??

I've had to do this - It is HARD.

Antibiotics is a no-go; it's basically a flag that you're pregnant, as is saying you're trying to lose weight or detoxing etc.

I'd go with ordering something in a glass - the bartenders tend to be good at this - and trying to wing it out, it's unlikely anyone will ask, although if it's a paid bar, rounds might prove problematic; and if it's not, people might be around you while you order. You can usually sneak away and come back with a top-up.

My advice to 20 week ago me would have been not to stress so much about people guessing, there's no way to stop it unless you can avoid the events, especially three in quick succession. Hopefully most people will be polite enough not to ask before you've said anything, but if any close friends do, you can always then use them as cover!

We made swapping glasses work a few times, nursing a drink, a headache... but honestly, if you're a drinker and you stop, it's pure chance whether anyone notices, and if they do, whether they ask.

Don't use the antibiotics excuse, it's way too obvious. Also don't get your DP/H to order two drinks and drink both, that's fairly obvious when he's drunk and you're sober (looking at you DH). Just get drinks that look like they have alcohol in them. Could get your DP/H to ask the bar staff to serve drinks in the glasses they would use for alcoholic drinks, eg coke in a vodka and coke glass, tonic water in a gin and tonic glass. That works quite well

You’re on antibiotics.

You’re driving.

Drink soda and limes (looks like G&Ts).

I have used the excuse that I have a hangover before
Driving is the best one though.

Ok didn’t know antibiotics is obvious...kind of worrying as I have been on antibiotics on a few nights out and not drunk, so had no idea people might think I’m pregnant!

Luckily I never drink due to meds, nor do I like to drink

Antibiotics or I can't drink I'm driving was always my excuse.

Say you're on antibiotics. Most people won't ask why.

How much of a lush are you that everyone will comment if they see you with a non-alcoholic drink

I think it's bizarre that people pay so much attention to how much people are drinking. I don't notice other than by the number of empty wine bottles on a table.

Sounds like the driving solves the problem as long as your nosey friends don't start telling you to get a taxi or stay overnight (assuming that's an option).

You can drink with most antibiotics which is why this excuse won't wash.

@crossstitchcat

Say you're on antibiotics. Most people won't ask why.

I always assume pregnancy when a woman says that when asked why not drinking. I hid mine easily but don’t drink so no one ever noticed any different. I think I’d only notice amongst my friends those that are big drinkers.

@MsHedgehog

Ok didn’t know antibiotics is obvious...kind of worrying as I have been on antibiotics on a few nights out and not drunk, so had no idea people might think I’m pregnant!

I get the impression that once women are a certain age, everyone assumes they must be pregnant or trying to get pregnant all the time.

And fashion backs it up by creating billowy tops which make you look pregnant when you aren't (and in my case am too old to be!)

I drink wine so everyone guessed easily when I was pregnant first time! I pretended to be on g&t but everyone knows white wine is my drink of choice so it was obvious!

Second time no one knew for ages as I luckily had no where to be! We did go to a wedding when I was 12 weeks (my scan was that week) and I just told our close friends then that I was having my scan that week (had an early scan so was reasonably comfortable with telling them).

Just nurse the welcome fizz and say it's your turn to drive.

@crossstitchcat

Say you're on antibiotics. Most people won't ask why.

Apart from the fact that it's the most obvious lie that indicates early pregnancy ime people are polite enough to ask after your health especially at the moment when everyone is so covid aware and careful about all health conditions

Maybe you should pretend you have found some kind of health guru and no longer drink. Just through in the odd comment that sounds like a meme 🤣

Keep it going for each wedding especially if there is a social cross over.

Driving is the best excuse ever, sip a glass of bubbly (take the smallest off the tray or ask for a small one if being poured because you are driving) nobody will bat an eyelid. Buy your own drinks during the reception rather than rounds and have just tonic, other people won't even notice

At weddings, parties etc I spend zero time peering into people's glasses, grilling them about what they're drinking or playing Guess Who's Pregnant. It's a really weird, rude way to behave. My SIL was angsting about it years ago, trying to choose between antibiotics or a diet as a reason for not drinking so nobody would guess and I asked if my brother - her dh - was similarly worried about what was in his glass, who would ask, if it looked alcoholic etc.

Basically, you can't stop the sort of people who are twattish enough to make sport of wondering about the contents of your uterus so don't bother. Assuming you can have a good time without alcohol, just make no comment whatsoever and get on with dancing, chatting and celebrating. If people offer a drink you don't want "no thanks, I'm fine" is a perfectly normal response. It's what any bloke who didn't want a particular drink would say.

Enjoy the weddings.

I went out to a an event in the early stages of pregnancy where there was a LOT of drinking. I had a glass of wine in front of me most of the time, pretended to take sips, it got topped up. I’d take it around with me so everyone saw me with wine. I’d leave it on the side whenever I could and happily accept a new glass in front of people.
Also ordered tonic water at the bar so it would look like a G&T.

People don’t watch you that intently.

Making excuses especially antibiotics is the biggest give away ever.

Is anyone going to be taking notice of what you drink? I can't imagine caring!

Exactly. Especially at a wedding, as opposed to meeting a couple of friends for a drink.

Why are you so bothered what other people think, just have a drink and enjoy it. You don't seriously think that all people abstain from booze when they are pregnant do you.

See if you can get some of the small mixer cans of lemonade or tonic to add to prosecco for toasts. You'll still be able to sip a bit without doing any harm

My DD found out she was pregnant the week of her wedding. Appetiser looks identical to champagne. We kept a bottle hidden and topped up her glass from that.