Back story - my daughter is very sensitive but also it seems quite incapable of understanding that other people (me) are also sensitive and can get upset by her comments. She and her family came to lunch on Sunday and she made several comments that upset me but her reaction is to laugh at me for being offended. They weren't majorly upsetting, but they were unkind. I provide some childcare for my daughter at half terms and a little in the summer holidays. I work full time so this has to come out of my annual leave. I also try to have the children overnight at least once a month so they are used to being here and it gives their parents a break. The children frequently come to us without enough clothes having been packed, she believes that they should be responsible for their own packing so does not supervise. I don't disagree with that in principle, but in reality it doesn't work. So I have been picking up a few bits of spare clothing for them in the sales so that there is something here if they have an accident or just don't have enough. It's only supermarket clothing and I am very happy for it to sit in the drawer and not be worn. However the children have frequently gone home in clothes other than they arrived in, especially socks, and you would think she would have noticed that - plus on occasion I have actually told her why. So - yesterday they arrived here in t-shirts and shorts. No jumper, fleece or coat. We had a picnic in the woods planned and it was breezy and not that warm, although nice and sunny. When I realised that was all they had with them and I told the older child that I was fed up of having to buy extra clothes for them because they didn't bring enough with them. I was cross - but before you say it I know I was unreasonable. I had some light jumpers for them here so they wore those and they were glad of them, because it was actually quite chilly! This morning I had a phone call from my daughter - the older child had told her I was cross at them and she was telling me off. She said it was a hot day so they didn't need anything more than t-shirts, I told her about the picnic and that it was actually quite cold. She said if I had told her what I was planning she would have made sure they had enough clothes but it was a hot day anyway.... there was a bit of a 'discussion' and I did not apologise, resulting in her telling me she was very upset and putting the phone down on me. My OH was actually already on the way to pick up the children at the time and when he got there she didn't even come downstairs to talk to him. So - she is upset - I am also upset, but she still expects me to look after her children (although to be fair it would be difficult for her to find alternative childcare) and she wants me to apologise. I would like her to apologise for upsetting me, but I haven't asked her to do so. I would like her to apologise for not realising that the children come to us with unsuitable or insufficient clothing, which I then have to remedy. My difficulty is that we are going away in a couple of weeks and I have asked her to feed the cats every other day while we are away (they have an automatic cat feeder so don't need checking on every day). I am worried that she might say she won't do it - she would have to get 2 buses to do so. We feed her cat every day when she goes away but we do have a car. AIBU in not apologising for having upset her? I am still looking after the children.