My partner is 29 and I am 23. We had a baby 3 months ago and he constantly drinks almost every night. He then spends the following day sleeping all day so he doesn’t help at all. He spends 5 minutes a day holding our son and takes one million pictures that he then posts all over his social media and sends to his parents. I do everything, the only time he offers to do anything is when his parents visit. He often disappears all night and I don’t know where he is or who he is with. We are behind on rent and are close to being evicted as well as all our other bills, he runs off with the little money we do have and spends it on cigarettes and alcohol. He hasn’t worked in months. I have gone into debt trying to pay all our bills. He says this is my problem and I need to sort it out on my own. He take my debit card without my permission and spends lots of money at the shop that he knows I don’t have, my bank account is always overdrawn. He takes my car without my permission and drives it drunk. He has the audacity to complain I don’t have sex with him anymore and he’s not being in a sexless relationship , we should have sex everyday. I gave birth 3 months ago, I had a forceps delivery, they cut me (episiotomy), I also had a second degree tear and I had internal tearing from the forceps. We’ve had sex probably about 8 times in the last 3 months which I know if not a lot but I’m tired and I feel self conscious in my post pregnancy body, I still have about a stone to loose before I am back to pre pregnancy weight and I have a lot of new stretch marks and my belly hangs. My boobs are saggier now as well. I’ve tried to leave him but he won’t let me take my son, he says his son won’t be staying in my families spare bedroom and I should F off but he and my son are staying put. He refuses to leave our flat, his family bought us a lot of furniture and baby things which he says I am not allowed to take with me. Then he says no one is going to be playing daddy with his son and he is going to have him half the time which I’ve said isn’t fair with such a young baby and he accuses me of trying to take his son from him. The way he talks to me is just vile.. he calls me every name under the sun when I criticise him for how he is behaving. He screams at me and runs around the house slamming doors, which I’ve tried to get him to stop doing as it scares our baby. I told him I hate him and he ruined my life and He got so angry he punched the door and broke his hand. He punched the wall the other night when we were arguing about money and put a hole in it and burst our light switch. He told me yesterday he has never loved me, we are worlds apart, He is seeing someone else..and then said he isn’t but every time he goes out he has had the chance to but hasn’t because he thinks of our son...our whole relationship he has always hidden his phone from me and when I have had a glimpse at his screen I’ve seen he messages lots of girls who he claims are just friends and people he’s known for years from school. When I’ve shouted and sworn at him for the way he’s behaved he has taken a video of me. He says he has taken recordings of me. I told him I feel drained, need help with the baby and really need a break, he says I should keep that to myself.
I take great care of my son despite everything
He does all this then issues these big grand apologies and promises me he’s not drinking again, he’s going to be working and he’s going to spoil me and our son, he loves me to bits etc.
I know I need to leave, I don’t have any money, I can stay with family for a bit but I need to buy all new things for baby as well. I can’t go back to work just yet as I can’t afford the childcare and can only have my partners mother watch my son a few days a week which I’m not so sure I want.
I suppose I just wanted to come on here and have a rant.. he’s always been a bad partner looking back but ever since I had our son the way he behaves is just disgusting.
Ugh, I feel so trapped. So down. I talk to my mum about things, we are close. But I think she’s fed up of hearing about it all. I’m just really waiting until I finally know he’s going to be out of the house for long enough for me to leave. I’m just so worried about what the future holds ..