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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to say women who live with men don't own power tools

212 replies

54321nought · 23/08/2021 10:28

Iooking at the early responses, I maybe asked the wrong question, many women are responding that they own "small" tools or "small" toolboxes, but not the power tools,

so basically the same again

YABU- I am a woman living with a man, and I own power tools, or share equal ownership of the power tools in our household

YANBU - I am a woman living with a man, and he owns the power tools in this house, or mostly owns them

Again, if you don't live with a man, please don't vote, but please comment

OP posts:
CoalCraft · 23/08/2021 11:50

DH "owns" (uses) the mower and the hoover. I "own" (use) the hedge trimmer. Of course in turn of actual ownership they are shared because we purchased them from joint funds.

Very odd question.

rubyandbel · 23/08/2021 11:51

When i was single I had a tool box, no electric tools. I have been with my husband 18 years and he is very handy. He has a huge garage full of every tool on the market. He does all DIY. I decorate. Now and again I will use garden power tools. If I was single again I suppose I would buy some things but the way I see it is that he is better at doing jobs so I leave it to him. I make the coffee. It makes him work faster 🤣

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 23/08/2021 11:52

DH and I are BOTH very competent with our shared power tools.

In fact I was the one using the angle grinder yesterday to trim some stone slabs for my neighbour while DH was sorting out some paperwork.

My Dad made sure I grew up knowing how to use tools, do basic electrical work, basic plumbing, basic car maintenance.

Aprilx · 23/08/2021 11:56

Neither of us are really into DIY and we don’t have a lot. DH has an electric screwdriver that I have never used and would probably refer to as “his” but other things I would see as belonging to the house rather than either of us. The sander has only been used by me, the hedge trimmer, strimmer and mini chain saw have mainly been used by me.

SirenSays · 23/08/2021 11:57

I am a woman living with a man, and neither of us own power tools.

Preech · 23/08/2021 11:57

Well, thank you for this thread. I did go into my marriage as the proud owner of a small toolbox for manual fix-it jobs. My husband brought in the power tools.

But you've helped me figure out the perfect housewarming gift for my niece who is moving into her own place for the first time next month. Grin

pinkcircustop · 23/08/2021 11:57

YANBU. Whether I was married or living alone, I would not be owning power tools 😂

DaxtheDestroyer · 23/08/2021 11:57

When we first met, I had all the power tools (and used them). Now we own them jointly. I do more of the house DIY (changing taps, putting shelves up, fixing toilets, making furniture etc) He does more of the garden maintenance. The only tool I don't like using is the chainsaw, it's a bit heavy for me.

BarbaraofSeville · 23/08/2021 12:00

There might be differences between tool ownership in men and women, but it's not necessarily an equality issue, because women aren't being barred from tool ownership. Women aren't being turned away from tool shops being told 'I'm sorry madam, you require a penis to buy that item'.

What are you wanting to hear? That you're a special woman because you own a drill that you bought all by yourself?

carolinesbaby · 23/08/2021 12:01

I am a woman living with a man, all the power tools belong to him and are used by him. Though if he wasn't here, I would be more than capable of using a drill, screwdriver, sander, lawnmower, strimmer, hedge cutter etc. It's just easier to let him do it!

My DSD - one lives alone and relies on her dad and stepdad to do all DIY. Owns no power tools though can build flat pack furniture using hand tools. One lives with a man and both work as trades people. They fight over who owns the best tools and borrow each other's tools, all equal there.

LongTimeMammaBear · 23/08/2021 12:09

I put YABU by it’s more than that. The power tools are mine. DH has never used them, they not shared ownership. I refinish furniture so have my own sander/extractor, drills etc.

BlackberrySky · 23/08/2021 12:14

I find it odd that there is a notion of "ownership" in a shared house. We have been married for 20 years. I have no idea who paid for the power tools, we have shared funds. My husband generally is the one who uses them because he comes from a family who are all brilliant at DIY (including the women).

DogFoodPie · 23/08/2021 12:16

What is this weird question, so sexist!

jellybean88 · 23/08/2021 12:17

So I've lived with my partner for 5 years. We jointly own the power tools but I'm the only one that really uses them. I love a bit of DIY whereas he isn't very practical

scarpa · 23/08/2021 12:17

I have my 'own' drill and belt sander that I contributed to our power tool collection when we moved in together. He also had a drill, plus a chainsaw. We bought a strimmer and a jet washer together...

We both like doing DIY, though. If I didn't I wouldn't have power tools but it wouldn't be because I'm a woman.

Thehogfatherstolemycurry · 23/08/2021 12:19

The power tools are mine as are the small tools, I researched which to get and bought them I don't like dh touching them he's not very good with diy and general maintenance.
The jet washer is his I cba jet washing the drive.
The lawnmower is joint, we use it about equally.

BiddyPop · 23/08/2021 12:19

Technically, DH owns all the power tools in the shed. And many of the other tools also. But I have bought a few tools of my own.

Whenever we do a job like painting, I do the prep and clearup (I do a better job of being neat with masking tape on edges and making sure everything is covered) but he does most of the painting (I leave odd lines and marks but he is much neater). He tiles but I grout. etc.

I have used all the power tools in the past. The only tool I have never used is the riveter, (because I don't do anything to DD's boat) - but to be pedantic, that's a hand tool. And I don't like to use the jigsaw (too powerful and too much potential for serious injury), but will happily spend longer just using a bowsaw or other handsaw instead to get a job done.

When DH spent 50% of his time abroad for 4 years in the last recession (2 weeks here, 2 weeks away, on rotation), I dealt with various emergency maintenance issues as necessary. Some involved calling the plumber or electrician (and once I called the electrician for a non-electrical issues as he is also our neighbour who's handy and I was stumped that time). But most I dealt with myself. I'm well able to wire a plug or drill a hole or securely wall-mount a bracket etc. DH never realised until recently that the gutters need an annual cleaning out by "someone" climbing a ladder with a bucket and rubber gloves (ok, not a power tool but a manly maintenance job).

So while most of the tools are technically not "mine", I am well used to using them. And if we ever split up - he will take his because I would plan to go out and get my own set that would suit me (I want a kit that involves a rechargable battery that can be put onto various tools - reducing the amount of cables and chargers etc - but it's not worth it at the moment to duplicate what we have). And I will keep my own tools that I have already bought.

AphroditeGoddessOfLove · 23/08/2021 12:19

I have some power tools but as I say, husband is a builder so I don't need to buy them because he has them all (I bought the first lot for him when he was starting out). I can use them whenever I want though and know my way around the drills and different saws he has.

I know what you mean about tool shops though. They are male dominated and it's unusual to see women in there.

Thehogfatherstolemycurry · 23/08/2021 12:20

I will add - he decorates. I hate decorating with a vengeance.

Helenahandkart · 23/08/2021 12:20

Power tools I own and use:
8” angle grinder
4” angle grinder
Rail saw
Router
Multi tool
Sds drill
Paddle mixer
Jigsaw
Cement mixer
Cordless drill
Impact driver
Sander
Heat gun
Chop saw
Hairdryer

Power tools my husband owns and uses:
Hairdryer

ErrolTheDragon · 23/08/2021 12:21

We have power tools which are just shared household kit, used by him or me or DD as needed.

I've got various smaller hand tools which are 'mine' so that I know where they are. DD has quite a lot of her own, mostly smaller stuff for electronics and the soldering iron is definitely hers.

Tangledtresses · 23/08/2021 12:26

I own all my power tools and have a large garage where I keep them
My partner has borrowed things and not put them back properly so he's now banned from using them 😂

BuddhaAtSea · 23/08/2021 12:30

When I was married, I bought and used all the power tools, ExH was a tool in his own right.
I’m now with someone who’s just as good at DIY, we do all DIY together and we pool the tools we have.

Rannva · 23/08/2021 12:42

I wouldn't even own power tools if I lived alone. I have better things to do with my time and money than drill things.

takingmytimeonmyride · 23/08/2021 12:48

When I was with my ex all the power tools were his, because he was in construction so they were his work tools.

He left a couple behind when he left, and I also bought some home from my mums when she died.