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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to say women who live with men don't own power tools

212 replies

54321nought · 23/08/2021 10:28

Iooking at the early responses, I maybe asked the wrong question, many women are responding that they own "small" tools or "small" toolboxes, but not the power tools,

so basically the same again

YABU- I am a woman living with a man, and I own power tools, or share equal ownership of the power tools in our household

YANBU - I am a woman living with a man, and he owns the power tools in this house, or mostly owns them

Again, if you don't live with a man, please don't vote, but please comment

OP posts:
Hardbackwriter · 23/08/2021 10:45

@Lyricallie

I don't really understand the question. They are just household things in the same way the blender or the mop is a household thing. We both own them. I occasionally use the drill and I definitely use the smaller non-power ones like the socket screw driver and multitool and Stanley knife but they're not mine of his, they're the house's.
Same. Ours are an amalgamation of things he owned before we lived together, things I owned before we lived together, my grandparents' old toolbox (given to me when they went into a home), a few things FIL has given us, and then stuff we've bought from our shared income as and when we've needed them. It isn't 'mine' or 'his' any more than the contents of the cutlery drawer (a similar mishmash of stuff from various sources) are.
SnarkyBag · 23/08/2021 10:46

The power tools are his as he is a tradesman and uses them for his work. Don’t see the point in buying my own when there a perfectly good ones of his available. They’re are much higher quality than anything I’d be willing to spend on tools!

gardeninggirl68 · 23/08/2021 10:46

As I said on other thread. I'm a retail manager in building/hardware/diy.

I'd say it's 50/50 but the women DEFINITELY favour the baretool systems

Tradesmen buy tools, older men have got enough, younger men seem to need reassurance .... younger women buy LOTS and older women often buy as presents. This is just my option on customers o have through

Women always remember a selection of drillbits men generally buy the size they think they need

OneTC · 23/08/2021 10:47

In our house DW has no tools and no interest in acquiring tools

Bouncebacker · 23/08/2021 10:48

Shared ownership here, like the cooking utensils, gardening tools, cleaning equipment - in fact the only appliances in our house that are ‘owned’ are our respective hair taming tools - he has no hair so just owns an electric trimmer, I’ve got lots and have a hairdryer and straighteners.

If I’m honest neither of us is great at DIY - but we give it a go - we have only have a sander, two drills and an electric screwdriver - all acquired since we have been together. We both brought a range of manual tools 🛠- his were mostly inherited from grandparents, I’d bought mine on purpose

CharlieBrown65 · 23/08/2021 10:48

I'm the one who uses all the tools in our house. My boyfriend had never used a drill before he met me and it was only when I built a bar from scratch that he felt like he should learn! We're both almost 30 for reference.

MilduraS · 23/08/2021 10:48

My DH owned a home first so he already had power tools and I didn't need to buy any. If odd jobs need doing round the house I ask him to do them for me. I hate DIY and I'm very clumsy.

catfunk · 23/08/2021 10:50

I had a tool box and some power tools before I met dp. So did he. Now they are all 'ours' and we have upgraded or added to them.
I'm more adept with woodwork and carpentry and he was an engineer so what we brought to the relationship reflects that.

Original poster
54321nought · 23/08/2021 10:50

@gardeninggirl68

As I said on other thread. I'm a retail manager in building/hardware/diy.

I'd say it's 50/50 but the women DEFINITELY favour the baretool systems

Tradesmen buy tools, older men have got enough, younger men seem to need reassurance .... younger women buy LOTS and older women often buy as presents. This is just my option on customers o have through

Women always remember a selection of drillbits men generally buy the size they think they need

thank you - very interesting

what is a baretool system? Does that mean not powered? I googled it, but it wasn't clear if it meant not powered, or not mains powered

OP posts:
Dilbertian · 23/08/2021 10:52

I'd say we own them in common, regardless of who chose or bought them. Either of us will use them without asking permission of the other. But certain tools are used more by one than the other, so we're more likely to defer to the regular user of that tool/ask advice/ask them to do the job. In that way I suppose the drill, sander and lawnmower are 'dh's', whereas the hedge trimmer and glue gun are 'mine'.

backinthebox · 23/08/2021 10:53

I’m confused by this question. Surely in a household shared by a man and a woman, the equipment gathered over the years for jobs done in the process of running and maintaining the household are jointly owned? In our household the drill, the chainsaw, the screwdrivers, even the cement mixer, are all joint household tools, just as the vacuum cleaner, the kitchen knives, etc are. Both of us are perfectly capable of using all the items we own. If I need to tighten a screw on a wobbly kitchen door or repair a broken fencing rail with hammer and nails, I don’t ask my husband’s permission or sit there like a helpless female - that’s bonkers! I’ve built entire structures (stables, sheds, etc) including the concrete bases on my own, but I prefer to work as a team with him. 2 pairs of hands makes jobs easier. We have a handful of items that are specialised to our hobbies - his silly wooden mallet for knocking in cricket bats, and my little leather punch set for repairing and adjusting horse tack, but they are only categorised as his or mine because they pertain solely to our individual hobbies.

megletthesecond · 23/08/2021 10:53

I've been a lone parent for a decade. I still don't own power tools.
I realised I never have the time or space to teach myself to use them. So I just pay for a handyman when I need things done.

adoreyou · 23/08/2021 10:54

Op I just posted on your other thread.

So you mean power tools not the usual hammer and screwdriver?

I own a scrollsaw, jigsaw rolling mitre saw, router and dremel

Recent purchase was a nail gun.. yet to have its first use.

On the wish list is a table saw, router table and a band saw. Sadly current work shed isn't big enough!

MedusasBadHairDay · 23/08/2021 10:54

I suspect that honestly the power tools are mostly owned by men, especially given men are far more likely to have jobs that require them owning power tools. (And women tend to be discouraged from those skills/roles for a variety of reasons)

While I have equal access to the power tools, they are technically owned by my DH (or at least his business). We could buy some that we co-own it would make absolutely no sense financially.

I did own some of my own hand tools when we first met, they were just cheap and cheerful ones, but it's made no sense to keep them when we now have the higher quality ones bought through the business.

On top of that a lot of power tools aren't designed to be used by women, I know there are some that - while I can use them - I need to hold them two handed while a man only needs one hand. Which means that it isn't always practical for me to do the DIY.

I think we'd need a massive shift in a few areas in order to see this change.

ThisBeTheName · 23/08/2021 10:55

I had to convince DH that an electric screwdriver was a useful thing - I had one, but he thought they were nonsense.

Then he used mine. He has now upgraded to a big whizzy electric screwdriver that looks more like a drill Grin

FusionChefGeoff · 23/08/2021 10:58

Am on the app so can't vote but I live with a man who is completely shit at DIY and I own all the power tools - drill, jigsaw, circular saw.

Causes our 80 year old neighbour all sorts of confusion Grin

MrsRobbieHart · 23/08/2021 10:58

Define power tools.

I am a woman who lives alone.

I have a lawn mower, a strimmer, a hedge cutter, a power washer, a hoover, a hair dryer, a set of hair clippers, a dehumidifier, a washing machine, a tumble drier, a dishwasher, a kettle, a toaster, a microwave.

All power tools.

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 23/08/2021 10:58

How do you decide who owns what?
Is it who paid for it? What if you have joint money? Is it the person who physically purchases the item the owner of it? Or the person who uses it the most?
Does it apply to all items in the home? Do I own the sofa and he owns the washing machine? Do I own the kettle and he owns the microwave?

We pool our money so it's all ours, jointly. Everything in our home was purchased by this pooled money so it's all ours, jointly. So I vote YABU. We have power tools. They're ours. As is the bed, the coat rack, the cooker...

SusannaM · 23/08/2021 10:59

Surprised at the poll results.
I own and use all the power tools, but it's part of my job. Most women I know frequently comment on how they couldn't do what I do, can't even put up a shelf etc. I've tried to bring my kids up differently, but daughter says she'll either have a bloke to do that or she'll pay one. I despair.

isthisareverse · 23/08/2021 11:00

What a bizarre question.

We own "joint" tools the way we own a joint dishwasher, a joint lawn mower, a joint ironing board and kettle.

Comefromaway · 23/08/2021 11:00

We own tools including power tools. Dh bought them. However neither of us have any clue what to do with them.

DoubleShotEspresso · 23/08/2021 11:00

I live with a man. All tools are mine, purchased by myself, other half I don't think has ever changed a lightbulb in 14 years!

FusionChefGeoff · 23/08/2021 11:03

@isthisareverse and others feigning faux confusion - surely you understand the concept that in a lot of relationships the DIY is heavily 'owned' by one member and therefore the tools to do that DIY would be considered 'theirs'?

Of course you're so equal and progressive we would never so that about YOUR relationship.....

But It's not that alien an idea that OTHER people might do it differently?!

MarioPants · 23/08/2021 11:04

I'm the power tool owner in our house. My husband doesn't go in my workshop (other than to bring me tea) and he wouldn't know where to start if I asked him to do anything. When we met I owned a shed full of power tools, he owned a small screwdriver set that he'd used on flat pack furniture.

burritofan · 23/08/2021 11:04

I own all the power tools. And the toolbox. And the shed, for that matter. DP has some small fiddly screwdrivers for tech, but the big noisy beasts and dangerous things are mine.