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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say my sister is the biggest f****** hypocrite

87 replies

chickenandbacon · 23/08/2021 00:06

Through covid I have followed the rules as best I can, stayed at home unless going to work/food shopping, isolated if I'd come into contact with someone who tested positive etc... I've always had a funny relationship with my sister and we seem to clash quite often. I've always felt that she thinks she's better than everyone else, entitled to do whatever she wants - 1 rule for her and 1 for everyone else...

Anyway, a couple of months ago she went to a party with a few friends and the party was hosted by an old friend of hers. They were there for a couple of hours I think, had food and drinks then went out to the pub down the road. Next morning old friend messaged everyone to say that she had tested positive for covid and would be forwarding everyone's details to track and trace. Everyone asked her not to, as some people couldn't afford to take the time off work to isolate (I'm not saying it's right btw but I do understand). The friend did as everyone asked. A day or so later my sister messaged me to say that she was on the beach with two of her friends who had also been to the party (when it was really busy as all the holiday makers were visiting at the time) and asked if I wanted to join them. I had plans so didn't go. At the time I did think it was quite selfish of them as unlike work reasons, a beach visit wasn't necessary but I kept my thoughts to myself. I'm not the covid police after all and it would only cause arguments if I voiced my opinion.

Fast forward to last Friday when I visited my friend. I didn't tell her I was going as I was just passing through and decided to knock on and see if she was home. She explained that she hadn't been feeling very well the last few days and it was probably best that I didn't come in, although she was confident that it was just a stomach bug. I was desperate for the loo (thank you McDonald's tea) so asked if I could just pop in quickly to use the loo. We didn't touch, hug, anything and I left after using the toilet. I was in there 5 mins max. Told her I would pop in when she was feeling better. Anyway, friend messaged me on Saturday morning to say she had tested positive. I've decided not to take a test or isolate (unless I start to feel ill of course) as I think it would be quite extreme given that I was only in there for 5 minutes and we didn't actually come into close contact.

I told my sister earlier about my friend being unwell. She decided to give me a huge lecture about how I should be taking a test and isolating for the next 10 days. It is really irresponsible for me not to do so Confused I honestly think she's forgotten about what she did two months ago. As the peace maker I try to hold my tongue as much as I can, more so because I just cba with the argument or hassle. I think she thrives on the drama between us sometimes. But please tell me I'm not wrong here and the two situations above are completely different??

OP posts:
Original poster
chickenandbacon · 23/08/2021 01:50

@Wideawake2345 I've already said a few times that I will be isolating anyway, just not taking a test. If I'm isolating what does it matter if I don't take one?

Btw - I did not see my sister today. We spoke on the phone... I should have made that clear in my op. Sorry

OP posts:
Kintsugi16 · 23/08/2021 01:51

I’m amazed how many don’t know the current rules tbh

Original poster
chickenandbacon · 23/08/2021 01:51

@RoseRedRoseBlue I didn't know at the time but posters have now clarified...

OP posts:
Original poster
chickenandbacon · 23/08/2021 01:53

@Kintsugi16 to be fair, I didn't either. They've changed so much it's hard to keep up sometimes.

OP posts:
Wideawake2345 · 23/08/2021 02:03

@chickenandbacon I just don’t understand your logic lol

Surely if you’re so convinced you’re not going to have contracted it, there’s no need to isolate and/or test, but you’re doing some strange halfway house by isolating, but not taking a test to be sure? Like I said, plenty of people can catch and spread Covid without being symptomatic.

The real issue is that you don’t get on with your sister and you’re just annoyed that she lectured you - you are absolutely entitled to feel this way if your relationship is strained at times, perhaps you would feel better if the the thread focused on this aspect so that you could feel vindicated in some way?

I think you’re probably fighting a losing battle going down the AIBU about Covid route. Pick something else to tell us about that your sister has been a kn*b about and then everyone can have a good moan with you, and you’ll feel better I’m sure Smile (not being sarcastic here in case it doesn’t translate over written message!)

HopefulRose · 23/08/2021 02:08

@chickenandbacon your sister sounds pretty selfish, maybe she gets off on winding you up as that’s clearly what she’s done here!

In future, my advice would be keep your business to yourself and don’t tell her anything you aren’t prepared to have her opinion on. Not everyone is as diplomatic as you are in keeping their thoughts to themselves.

OswaldOwl · 23/08/2021 02:11

The unreasonable part is your unwillingness to take a test.

If you’re so confident you’ll be okay, where’s the harm in getting a test to confirm that?
You will surely be putting you mind at rest that you are definitely not an asymptomatic spreader?

Could it possibly be that you don’t want to test because you don’t want to risk being told you’re positive, and therefore have to isolate? You’d much rather continue in ignorance, assume you don’t have it, potentially putting others at risk because you don’t want to inconvenience yourself?

Just a hypothesis.

Original poster
chickenandbacon · 23/08/2021 02:17

@Wideawake2345 I hear you and I didn't think you were being sarcastic (Smile). I can take a test tomorrow but in all fairness, positive results don't always show straight away either. I've known people take tests every single day for 7 days after contact and not test positive until the last day...

@OswaldOwl I've already said I would be isolating anyway even if I didn't take a test. I work from home so it's not difficult for me!

OP posts:
Wideawake2345 · 23/08/2021 02:18

@OswaldOwl completely agree with your second paragraph, but not necessarily the third - in her defence, OP has said she is going to self isolate anyway, so is already inconveniencing herself up to a point, but I complete agree I have no idea why she won’t take a test! Other than her sister (who she doesn’t get along with) told her to, so is using this as a small act of defiance when really she should be telling us why her sister can be an idiot on all things non-Covid related so we can sympathise and give her the vindication that she clearly needs, but is looking for in the wrong place/on the wrong topic

Original poster
chickenandbacon · 23/08/2021 02:18

Anyway, off to bed! I'm bloody shattered and up early in the morning. I will see if I can order a test tomorrow (when I'm half awake). Thanks for all the messages, goodnight 💤

OP posts:
Wideawake2345 · 23/08/2021 02:24

@chickenandbacon I think you’ll feel much better if you test tomorrow and again in 7 days time - you are doubled jabbed, and are willing to self isolate, so you obviously care about Covid and are not a crazy anti vaxxer or something like that! So you’ll be able to sleep at night and take the moral high ground that you have done the right thing (easier said than done sometimes when you have a d*ickheaf of a sibling/SIL getting on their soapbox about something - speaking from personal experience here! Smile

You’re just pssed off with your sister Grin so go on, tell us some juicy knbbish things she’s done to keep us entertained at this god forsaken hour haha

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 23/08/2021 03:39

If I were you, I'd get tested anyway for peace of mind. I would also stay at home until I got the result.

Your sister is a hypocritical arse, yes - but if you don't get tested, then you lose any moral highground yourself, despite the disparity in circumstances and the fact that you are vaccinated.

The vaccine doesn't give you absolute protection and it doesn't stop you spreading covid if you have picked it up.

JustJoinedRightNow · 23/08/2021 03:51

@ShinyGreenElephant

You sound as bad as each other. At least take a lateral flow test ffs
Agree with this. Take a test and isolate OP. It’s not rocket science.
Mothership4two · 23/08/2021 04:28

@chickenandbacon

I told my sister earlier about my friend being unwell. She decided to give me a huge lecture about how I should be taking a test and isolating for the next 10 days. It is really irresponsible for me not to do so confused I honestly think she's forgotten about what she did two months ago. As the peace maker I try to hold my tongue as much as I can, more so because I just cba with the argument or hassle

I don't understand why you didn't immediately say something to her? She was being totally unreasonable and you had a valid point. You didn't have to be argumentative about it. I'm the peace maker too, but I couldn't have let this one go. You may feel you cba to argue OP, but you have been left fuming and mulling this over.

GCAutist · 23/08/2021 04:58

It doesn’t really matter whose behaviour was worse at the time. The virus doesn’t give a shit about 2 hours vs 5 minutes. It doesn’t care if you’re at the beach or taking a piss. You both wanted to ignore the guidelines for your own selfish reasons (albeit you’re saying now you’ll isolate) so really you’re both as bad as each other.

The sibling rivalry thing needs to go however. You’re adults now. Move on from who’s worse and the oneupmanship

Cattitudes · 23/08/2021 05:00

If you can more or less isolate then take your sister up on her generous offer to go and run your errands for you. Remind her that the rules have changed but you think it is a good suggestion of hers and here is the first list of your requirements. Every time I hear someone has to isolate I offer to get food in for them so I am sure she has too.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 23/08/2021 05:06

You're both as bad as each other. Grim.

Please self isolate and don't infect anyone else.

rolyisntittimefor · 23/08/2021 05:13

Your sister is a hypocrite OP yes.

You will receive an absolute pile on for not following the "rules" yourself though. It is strange you'd use a loo of someone with a suspected tummy bug though - more so than covid id be worried about the norovirus. But in covid terms I personally think you're fine!!

Just don't tell your sister this stuff, why feed drama.

User16838 · 23/08/2021 05:16

Some very strange responses on here.

  1. Yes the situations are very different. 2 hours at an indoor party = close contact. 5 minutes at someone else’s house = not a close contact. IIRC track and trace count “close contact” as being within 2 metres of each other for 15 minutes which you weren’t.
  1. The rules have now changed so even if you were a close contact then you still don’t have to test or isolate.
Mummyoflittledragon · 23/08/2021 05:34

I can’t believe these responses. It’s written in the rules:

A) Op does NOT legally have to isolate as she does not fit the criteria: i) she has been double vaxxed, ii) there was no close contact.

B) She has zero symptoms so is not required to take a PCR.

Do I or a lot of people on this thread agree with some or all of these rules? No I don’t but these are the rules.

I would love to know who on this thread is doing twice weekly Lateral flow tests. Because we all should be doing this under the guidelines, not just chickenandbacon. We all could have been exposed. The moment we step into an office, shop or any space, where there are other human beings.

NatMoz · 23/08/2021 06:24

Why didn't you just wee in their garden? Would have saved a whole load of problems and avoided a person who was ill.

newnortherner111 · 23/08/2021 07:43

Don't descend to other people's level. Take a test, you are isolating as it is. And please don't visit McDonalds again.

Imnothereforthedrama · 23/08/2021 08:07

Your not a close contact op a close contact is 15 minutes or more not quickly ran in to use the loo. So yes I agree with you you don’t need to isolate but I’d still test .

RickOShay · 23/08/2021 08:31

Rules have changed again.
You no longer need to isolate if you have been double vaccinated.

AlmostSummer21 · 23/08/2021 08:34

Your Sister is a hypocrite & stupid, but it's unrelated to what you should do.

You were daft to go into your friend to use the toilet when she said she hadn't been well with what she thought was a stomach bug, apart from that being common to COVID there's a lot of noro going around. You should have just gone home. You'd have had to if she wasn't in when you knocked.

Secondly, she's now tested positive (despite being sure it was a tummy bug) YOU cannot be sure that you haven't picked it up from her toilet/taps/hand towel.

It's no longer the law that double jabbed (Plus 14 days after the second one one) have to isolate, but it doesn't mean we can't/shouldn't all do what's sensible!

There are lots of occasions where we do things that are more sensible/safe than the law states.

I'd aim to get a PCR tomorrow (day 4), isolate and get another Saturday (day 8)
As I think that's sensible, with the Delta variant & having used her bathroom.

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