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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say my sister is the biggest f****** hypocrite

87 replies

chickenandbacon · 23/08/2021 00:06

Through covid I have followed the rules as best I can, stayed at home unless going to work/food shopping, isolated if I'd come into contact with someone who tested positive etc... I've always had a funny relationship with my sister and we seem to clash quite often. I've always felt that she thinks she's better than everyone else, entitled to do whatever she wants - 1 rule for her and 1 for everyone else...

Anyway, a couple of months ago she went to a party with a few friends and the party was hosted by an old friend of hers. They were there for a couple of hours I think, had food and drinks then went out to the pub down the road. Next morning old friend messaged everyone to say that she had tested positive for covid and would be forwarding everyone's details to track and trace. Everyone asked her not to, as some people couldn't afford to take the time off work to isolate (I'm not saying it's right btw but I do understand). The friend did as everyone asked. A day or so later my sister messaged me to say that she was on the beach with two of her friends who had also been to the party (when it was really busy as all the holiday makers were visiting at the time) and asked if I wanted to join them. I had plans so didn't go. At the time I did think it was quite selfish of them as unlike work reasons, a beach visit wasn't necessary but I kept my thoughts to myself. I'm not the covid police after all and it would only cause arguments if I voiced my opinion.

Fast forward to last Friday when I visited my friend. I didn't tell her I was going as I was just passing through and decided to knock on and see if she was home. She explained that she hadn't been feeling very well the last few days and it was probably best that I didn't come in, although she was confident that it was just a stomach bug. I was desperate for the loo (thank you McDonald's tea) so asked if I could just pop in quickly to use the loo. We didn't touch, hug, anything and I left after using the toilet. I was in there 5 mins max. Told her I would pop in when she was feeling better. Anyway, friend messaged me on Saturday morning to say she had tested positive. I've decided not to take a test or isolate (unless I start to feel ill of course) as I think it would be quite extreme given that I was only in there for 5 minutes and we didn't actually come into close contact.

I told my sister earlier about my friend being unwell. She decided to give me a huge lecture about how I should be taking a test and isolating for the next 10 days. It is really irresponsible for me not to do so Confused I honestly think she's forgotten about what she did two months ago. As the peace maker I try to hold my tongue as much as I can, more so because I just cba with the argument or hassle. I think she thrives on the drama between us sometimes. But please tell me I'm not wrong here and the two situations above are completely different??

OP posts:
50ShadesOfCatholic · 23/08/2021 00:57

Good lord both of you need to grow up.

DearFrutti · 23/08/2021 00:58

YABU. So is your sister.

Original poster
chickenandbacon · 23/08/2021 00:59

@50ShadesOfCatholic erm, really? Hmm okay.

OP posts:
ThePersonFromPorlock · 23/08/2021 01:05

Mumsnet is a strange place. Yes, your sister is a fecking hypocrite to lecture you. In saying that, I honestly would rather wet myself than enter the house of someone displaying symptoms of anything at the moment. But if you and your friend were socially distanced while you were in her house and it really was only 5 minutes, then technically you weren't a close contact and, if you're vaccinated, you don't need to self isolate unless you start having symptoms.

Nancydrawn · 23/08/2021 01:09

If you've been double vaccinated, you don't have to isolate.

If you haven't been, you need to isolate until you get a negative test.

Your sister is an enormous hypocrite. Her friends (who decided they didn't have to isolate) are dangerous arseholes.

You are hypocritical to be frustrated with her but decide that the rules don't apply to you.

RoseRedRoseBlue · 23/08/2021 01:09

Who willingly uses the toilet in the house of someone who volunteers that they have a stomach bug?

Petseagull · 23/08/2021 01:11

no, the situations are not different, you are both hypocrites and you should take a test.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 23/08/2021 01:15

Well you don't have to isolate any more where as your sister did 2 months ago so no, not the same at all

Winter2020 · 23/08/2021 01:17

Hi OP,
I would have a quiet week working at home if I were you (just as you have said you will).

You may have only been in the house a few minutes and not been near your friend but it's her house and she will have been breathing/coughing/touching things in it so the possibility of you receiving a viral load I would think is a lot higher than for example a quick hello in a supermarket.

I think now it is less about following "rules" (except of course isolating if you are ill) and more about us being sensible and considerate of others.

Make your own risk assessments but probably best to not discuss them with everyone as everyone will have different opinions.

Original poster
chickenandbacon · 23/08/2021 01:18

@RoseRedRoseBlue As I said before .... I would have preferred to use my own loo of course, especially since she was unwell but I was desperate and she lives 15 minutes away from me. I don't know if I could have waited that long. There are no large supermarkets around where we live either so I wouldn't have been able to pop in and use one of theirs.

What should I have done, wee'd on the car floor?

OP posts:
RoseRedRoseBlue · 23/08/2021 01:22

No need to get irritated- you asked AIBU and yes, I think you are on multiple counts.

Saoirse82 · 23/08/2021 01:23

I think you're both as bad as eachother. You have no grounds to judge her and vice versa, obviously you have a similar outlook on this kind of thing.

Original poster
chickenandbacon · 23/08/2021 01:23

Thank you @Winter2020 . I will be staying in as unfortunately I have to work. I feel fine at the moment but understand that could change. I'm pretty confident I will be ok though. I'm sure you're right that it's probably best not to talk about these sorts of things (especially Covid!) with other people. Everyone has an opinion...

OP posts:
Original poster
chickenandbacon · 23/08/2021 01:25

I'm not irritated @RoseRedRoseBlue. You didn't explain why I was unreasonable though did you? just made a silly comment about me using her loo. I asked you, what would you have suggested I do?

OP posts:
Original poster
chickenandbacon · 23/08/2021 01:28

I honestly don't think we do though @Saoirse82 . I'm staying at home and the rules have now changed anyway. I don't need to take a test or isolate unless I start to feel ill but I will be staying in (work from home) anyway just incase. My sister willingly went to a beach after her friend had tested positive and at the time the rules were different. She should have isolated.

OP posts:
Original poster
chickenandbacon · 23/08/2021 01:37

I thought so too @EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 23/08/2021 01:37

1 - You should take a test, and

2 - the two situations are different.
Your sister socialised while unaware that someone may have had covid, whereas you knew your friend was not feeling well but pressed her to let you in anyway.

3 - I'm pretty confident I will be ok though.
You and your sister are cut from the same cloth. This is the reasoning that led your sister to hit the beach.

RoseRedRoseBlue · 23/08/2021 01:38

@chickenandbacon

I'm not irritated *@RoseRedRoseBlue*. You didn't explain why I was unreasonable though did you? just made a silly comment about me using her loo. I asked you, what would you have suggested I do?
OP, it’s quite clear you are being unreasonable, as pointed out over and over on this thread. I don’t need to explain why.
mathanxiety · 23/08/2021 01:39

What should I have done, wee'd on the car floor?

You're not a recently potty trained three year old.
Don't drink so much when you're out.
Hold in your pee.

Original poster
chickenandbacon · 23/08/2021 01:42

In what way did I press her @mathanxiety? I didn't barge my way in and force her to drink tea with me. I desperately needed the loo and asked first if I could use it quickly which she said yes to. I was 15 minutes away from home and any supermarkets or somewhere that I could use a toilet. I'm not sure what else I could have done? I left straight after using the toilet.

Yes, I do believe that I will be ok, as we had no close contact and I feel fine, but I'm also not choosing to go to a beach and socialise with other people. We're not cut from the same cloth at all IMO.

OP posts:
Wideawake2345 · 23/08/2021 01:45

Is everyone just going to ignore the fact that some people can have/spread Covid without having any symptoms…the adverts on the radio make it quite clear that there are a good number of people to whom this applies. Could be both you and your sister - yes she might be being a hypocrite, but in the grand scheme of things both of you could be unwittingly transmitting Covid.

If you’re going to work from home anyway, I can’t see what the big deal is about doing a test? Yes the rules might have been different at the time your sister was potentially exposed, but the government have to set these arbitrary rules, so surely even if the rules are different now, you use a bit of common sense even if not strictly legally necessary to isolate and take a test.

Seems to me it’s mainly because your sister gave you a lecture about it which IMO isn’t really a good enough reason…

Original poster
chickenandbacon · 23/08/2021 01:46

@mathanxiety you have clearly not read my post properly at all. I had 1 cup of tea. not 10. You do realise that it's really unhealthy to hold in urine, don't you? Anyway, I know my own body, better than someone on mumsnet I'm sure, and I know that I wouldn't have been able to hold it in for another 15 minutes.

OP posts:
Original poster
chickenandbacon · 23/08/2021 01:47

@RoseRedRoseBlue again, as others have explained, the rules have now changed. I don't need to test or isolate unless I start to feel unwell, so no, I'm obviously not being unreasonable.

OP posts:
Kintsugi16 · 23/08/2021 01:49

You don’t need to SI as double vaccinated but should take a LFT if leaving the house

Your sister broke the rules as they only changed a week ago but there’s no point in falling out with her about this now. Just explain the current rules to her

RoseRedRoseBlue · 23/08/2021 01:50

[quote chickenandbacon]@RoseRedRoseBlue again, as others have explained, the rules have now changed. I don't need to test or isolate unless I start to feel unwell, so no, I'm obviously not being unreasonable. [/quote]
Then WHY are you posting in AIBU?

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