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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flexible working request denied

76 replies

flexandbend · 22/08/2021 19:11

DH works in finance, back end no customer face to face only over emails and phone calls. Recently he put in a flexible working request to have one day a week off and condense his hours. This is something 3 women in the office already do to cover childcare arrangements. The reason for this request was a change in personal childcare circumstances and DH struggling with his anxiety. DH's flexible working has been rejected as 'our customers don't work 4 days per week so neither can we'. He responded to this outright rejection saying that there were already 3 people working this way (he had asked for a different day so no overlapping). The senior manager responded saying he 'didn't realise this' and the best they can offer is half a day.

DH is furious made even more so by the fact that there was apparently (according to his line manager) a very long email trail between him, his senior manager and the regional manager. The case DH put forward is that most customer request calls/respond to emails later in the day however on his current work pattern this is not possible by working later he would be able to respond to the instantly. For the day that he was off he would ensure that anything urgent has been tended too but even then they have a 3 working day response deadline to all emails so there would be no delays.

DH works hard at his job he is consistently in the top 2 rankings for the centre and often is asked to pick up cases that other team members have not touched for over a week which has resulted in complaints. He is highly regarded and is according to the senior manager a valuable member of the team who gets things done.

Now DH never formally filled in the flexible working request as he was told not too nor was a meeting held to discuss his request. To me this isn't right and they should be holding a meeting to discuss the request and then a response should be given in writing and HR should be aware and present.

DH is currently debating handing in his notice as he feels like his hard work is for nothing and is annoyed that they have said that the customers don't work 4 days a week when it has been fine for his female colleagues.

Are we being unreasonable to submit a formal request and ask for a meeting. I am sure it will get us no where but this was also our last hope before I would have to give up my job and I'm worried about DH anxiety levels especially due to the pandemic.

Any help or advice is appreciated

OP posts:
Figgygal · 22/08/2021 19:13

I’d submit the formal request
Hopefully HR will then get involved and make sure the process is managed fairly - even if the outcome doesn’t change
There are limited reasons the business can refuse a flexible working request too

LavenderPink · 22/08/2021 19:14

If he is thinking of leaving then I'd submit the formal request

Sorka · 22/08/2021 19:15

Sounds like sex discrimination to me, and that’s why he’s been asked not to make a formal request or speak to HR. I’d put in the formal request and they can explain why they won’t treat him the same way as the women.

LavenderPink · 22/08/2021 19:16

And even if the formal request is rejected he is allowed to appeal it I think.

The case DH put forward is that most customer request calls/respond to emails later in the day this is a very good point in his favour.

CorrBlimeyGG · 22/08/2021 19:16

Put in a formal request, and explain how it will benefit the business. Try to think of any reason why they might decline, and address them in the application.

BrilloPaddy · 22/08/2021 19:17

What other people in the office are doing is irrelevant. I've got a team of 9 and not one of them do the same role even though it's given the same job title.

If his job needs 5 day cover, then that's what he will be expected to work.

If it's been declined, move on and find a job that will allow him to work the days he wants to.

Hellocatshome · 22/08/2021 19:17

Definitely should have been a formal request then it can be dealt with correctly and legally through HR.

MaMelon · 22/08/2021 19:17

Formal request every time - never do these things informally if you want to ensure the policy is applied fairly and consistently with an HR input.

flexandbend · 22/08/2021 19:17

@BrilloPaddy

What other people in the office are doing is irrelevant. I've got a team of 9 and not one of them do the same role even though it's given the same job title.

If his job needs 5 day cover, then that's what he will be expected to work.

If it's been declined, move on and find a job that will allow him to work the days he wants to.

They all do the same role
OP posts:
TheCheeseBadge · 22/08/2021 19:17

Agree with PP about it possibly being sex discrimination, I'd ring ACAS on Monday to get their take on it before you take any further steps.

flexandbend · 22/08/2021 19:18

Thanks all. I had left him with a form filled in but after speaking to his line manager he decided just to email!

OP posts:
LavenderPink · 22/08/2021 19:19

@BrilloPaddy

What other people in the office are doing is irrelevant. I've got a team of 9 and not one of them do the same role even though it's given the same job title.

If his job needs 5 day cover, then that's what he will be expected to work.

If it's been declined, move on and find a job that will allow him to work the days he wants to.

It is relevant if they are doing the same role. They don't have to give it to him just because they've given it to someone else if the work can't be covered. But I expect HR would want to make 100% sure it's processed fairly.
LavenderPink · 22/08/2021 19:20

@flexandbend

Thanks all. I had left him with a form filled in but after speaking to his line manager he decided just to email!
Email is fine, it just has to have specific wording. If you Google the government website has lots of info on it.
RippleEffects · 22/08/2021 19:22

I've left jobs over a moral stance, it comes with its own complications. I think its important that you and your DH do what is right for you. But work out the whole picture of what the knock on of each action would be.

Absolutely he needs to look out for his mental health and manage his anxiety. Quiting his job won't necessarily achieve that - could it make it worse and add financial stress into the mix?

It is possible to mentally quit, keep doing the job but accept loyalty is a two way street and if the employers aren't taking his needs seriously, use leave to do 4 days a week until another position is found/ in parallel to appying formally for a change in hours should that be appealing if nothing else turns up.

FTEngineerM · 22/08/2021 19:23

Does seem a bit sexist.
I’d definitely put in a formal request.

JenniferAllisonPhillipaSue · 22/08/2021 19:25

Formal request. You've got time to contact ACAS whilst the managers are formulating their formal response.

countrytown · 22/08/2021 19:27

What other people in the office are doing is irrelevant.

except in the cases where it is relevant!

countrytown · 22/08/2021 19:28

As others said do they formal request & maybe start looking.

Bluntness100 · 22/08/2021 19:30

On a side note op is he getting help for his anxiety? Has he spoken to a doctor? Is his company aware of his mental health issues?

SchrodingersImmigrant · 22/08/2021 19:31

@BrilloPaddy

What other people in the office are doing is irrelevant. I've got a team of 9 and not one of them do the same role even though it's given the same job title.

If his job needs 5 day cover, then that's what he will be expected to work.

If it's been declined, move on and find a job that will allow him to work the days he wants to.

I disagree. If it didn't matter we couldn't have a comparitor in discrimination cases, could we
flexandbend · 22/08/2021 19:34

@Bluntness100

On a side note op is he getting help for his anxiety? Has he spoken to a doctor? Is his company aware of his mental health issues?
He has made an appointment it has taken him a long time to accept he needs to talk to someone. To be fair to him it was triggered by covid and he now has health anxiety which has meant that going out of the house is a real real trial for all of us! I think the fact that they are due to go back to the office after WFH which has tipped him over the edge. I have been working throughout however when I get in the house it is strip and shower thoroughly and clothes are washed on a 60° heat with dettol fabric cleanser. Shopping is left (with the exception of fridge stuff) for 48 hours before touching, same with post or anything coming into the house. It is exhausting!
OP posts:
CharlotteRose90 · 22/08/2021 19:37

@BrilloPaddy

What other people in the office are doing is irrelevant. I've got a team of 9 and not one of them do the same role even though it's given the same job title.

If his job needs 5 day cover, then that's what he will be expected to work.

If it's been declined, move on and find a job that will allow him to work the days he wants to.

It is relevant actually because it looks like the people in the office are female and op partner is male . If they got it approved for the same job so should he. Sex discrimination does exist and this is exactly what is happening.
AmyFl · 22/08/2021 19:38

Maybe it's because he is so good at his job- you said he's often in the top 2- which means that they don't want to lose him for a whole day each week? They won't admit that this is the real reason of course.

Seafog · 22/08/2021 19:39

He should have made the request formal, but I can see why he feels he needs to move on.

Unsure33 · 22/08/2021 19:40

I would also check out the ACAS website for guidance

There are certain ways to apply and wording to be used and the employer has up to three months to reply and they have to give a very good reason to refuse .

Then if still refused you can ask ACAS for guidance . It is free.