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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is a disaster waiting to happen?

94 replies

PoppyDotx · 22/08/2021 16:02

Hi all,

I am a bit being unreasonable as it's none of my business but I just wanted to rant as I can't to anyone else really:-

My 17 year old cousin is having a baby, fine whatever people have children young however they live at home with the girls mum and it's a two bed house, her dad got her a dog for Christmas which doesn't get along with the resident dog so it's confined to the girls bedroom, not allowed out for toilet as it's a four grand dog and they're scared of it being stolen, it wees and poos in the room, my cousin works 12 hours a day and the girl won't take the dog out (to be fair she is heavily pregnant so I get it) but they refuse to rehome it and her dad has bought her a house (to commit benefit fraud but that's a whole other story) but they need to build it up from scratch and won't be ready so when the baby's born he will be confined to the same room with the dog and all the mess. They believe the dog will be fine with the baby as it's well socialised (it's not) and I have tried to explain that dogs don't really see babies as humans at first as they smell and sound different and with it being a pit type dog they have a really strong bite so they'll have to be really careful but at 17 they already know everything of course and aren't listening to what anyone's saying.

I know it's none of my business so I understand I am being a bit unreasonable but I just genuinely think it's a disaster waiting to happen and I feel sad for both the baby and the dog but also when I had my baby the midwife visited the day after and the health visitor not long after that so I'm wondering what they'll say and do about the situation.

OP posts:
LittleAurora · 22/08/2021 16:05

Sounds like animals abuse tbh.

JudgeRindersMinder · 22/08/2021 16:07

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Original poster
PoppyDotx · 22/08/2021 16:07

@LittleAurora

Sounds like animals abuse tbh.
It really is but they won't listen, they are very immature 17 year olds. My cousins response to me asking what happens if the dog isn't as good with the baby as he seems to think was "we'll cross that bridge when we get to it". Knocks me a bit sick to be honest.
OP posts:
PoppyDotx · 22/08/2021 16:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn as it quotes a deleted post.

Babyroobs · 22/08/2021 16:09

A number of issues here.
Firstly stupid people. How can anyone keep a dog like that. they will have problems house training it later and it is disgusting that it never goes out for a walk.
Hopefully social services will be involved with a newborn baby being in the same room as a non house trained and clearly unsocialized ( as it has been left on it's own for 12 hours a day ) animal.
I'm absolutely sick of stupid people thinking this kind of hsit is ok.

RubyGoat · 22/08/2021 16:10

What country is this happening in? Struggling to believe this wouldn't raise flags in the UK.

endofthelinefinally · 22/08/2021 16:10

If this is true I would be onto social services and RSPCA.

LakieLady · 22/08/2021 16:10

If she's not capable of taking care of a dog properly, which it appears she isn't, she's unlikely to do much better taking care of a baby imo.

This sounds like a complete nightmare. She should rehome the dog.

Booboosweet · 22/08/2021 16:10

This is mad but I don't like dogs around babies full stop let alone some pitbull type dog.

Original poster
PoppyDotx · 22/08/2021 16:10

@LegoCaltrops

What country is this happening in? Struggling to believe this wouldn't raise flags in the UK.
It is the UK, when I was pregnant I didn't have any visits until the baby was born, a midwife came the day after my ds was born.
OP posts:
ReggaetonLente · 22/08/2021 16:12

I can definitely believe this is true!

Yes OP it's a recipe for disaster. Terrifying really. I really hope the midwife raises it when she does the home visit.

Babyroobs · 22/08/2021 16:12

A pregnant teenager would have increased midwife support I imagine.

girlmom21 · 22/08/2021 16:16

This sounds horrendous for the poor dog. Call the RSPCA.

Original poster
PoppyDotx · 22/08/2021 16:19

@girlmom21

This sounds horrendous for the poor dog. Call the RSPCA.
I don't know where she lives, I know my cousins address but if I ask for her address from anyone and then the rspca turns up then they are gonna know it's me and it's my rough side of the family that I don't really want to get involved with which is why I ranted here, I told my mum how I felt as it's her side of the family and she told me to mind my own business and my cousin might surprise us when the baby's born so there's not much I can do which is why I'm ranting here but like I said in my OP I feel really sad for the dog and baby and dread to think what might happen.
OP posts:
RubyGoat · 22/08/2021 16:22

No, I didn't get any home visits until after DD was born but I got pregnant at 30 & was living with my DH not my parents. I did attend several midwife appointments though. They did ask a lot of questions about my house such as any existing children, number of bedrooms, house/flat, rented/owned, pets & who cared for them, what my diet was like, did I smoke, drink, etc. I take it they don't do that any more?

This does sound like a nightmare waiting to happen. I don't say accident because it won't be an accident, it will be entirely preventable if that poor neglected dog attacks the baby. I would never have a pitbull type dog but I feel really sorry for it, with the right training & environment they can be lovely animals.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 22/08/2021 16:23

Abuse is everyone's business.

If its as bad as you say, there's no point having an anonymous rant, you need to be reporting the abuse of the dog and reporting to social services before something happens.

No point waiting until something happens and then saying "told you so".

LadyFannyButton · 22/08/2021 16:24

@Babyroobs

A pregnant teenager would have increased midwife support I imagine.
A pregnant teenager I knew (who also had learning difficulties) didn’t get extra midwife support or visits, she lived with a family member too.
Original poster
PoppyDotx · 22/08/2021 16:24

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

Abuse is everyone's business.

If its as bad as you say, there's no point having an anonymous rant, you need to be reporting the abuse of the dog and reporting to social services before something happens.

No point waiting until something happens and then saying "told you so".

Which is exactly what I said to my mum that a child's safety is everyone's business however I don't know where they live, I know where my aunty lives but my cousin moved into his girlfriends house in other town so I have no way of finding out, of course if I had some way of preventing this I would, I'm messaging my cousin like crazy trying to talk some sense into him but teenagers know everything.
OP posts:
YoComoManzanas · 22/08/2021 16:26

I can well believe this. Some people are absolutely horrible with pets (and as parents) and shouldn't have them but put on a good show for the authorities. My aunt (who I never see) has according to my mum got one of those African wildcats as pets in her garden. Garden is not huge and they also have a dog to keep it company. Absolutely bonkers. But what can you do? I only have it on hearsay so haven't done any thing.

Original poster
PoppyDotx · 22/08/2021 16:27

@LegoCaltrops

No, I didn't get any home visits until after DD was born but I got pregnant at 30 & was living with my DH not my parents. I did attend several midwife appointments though. They did ask a lot of questions about my house such as any existing children, number of bedrooms, house/flat, rented/owned, pets & who cared for them, what my diet was like, did I smoke, drink, etc. I take it they don't do that any more?

This does sound like a nightmare waiting to happen. I don't say accident because it won't be an accident, it will be entirely preventable if that poor neglected dog attacks the baby. I would never have a pitbull type dog but I feel really sorry for it, with the right training & environment they can be lovely animals.

Same with me but to be honest I doubt they've been honest to the midwife about the situation. I felt apprehensive about telling them about my five cats, I did of course but I doubt anyone would openly admit to what they're doing.

Pits are lovely dogs but very strong and powerful and like said if not trained properly can be very dangerous well even if trained properly as animals are unpredictable.

OP posts:
DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 22/08/2021 16:28

If you're not going to do anything, what do you want from this thread?

Just call and give as much info as you can, or ask for the address to post a baby present to.

Given that you don't know where they live I don't know how you know so much about their circumstances.

Original poster
PoppyDotx · 22/08/2021 16:29

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

If you're not going to do anything, what do you want from this thread?

Just call and give as much info as you can, or ask for the address to post a baby present to.

Given that you don't know where they live I don't know how you know so much about their circumstances.

As mentioned a rant and to see if people knew if the midwife or health visitor would intervene (which I assumed they would but I don't know).

All I can give them is their names and town they live in but house is in her mums name so would they be able to find out that way?

OP posts:
DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 22/08/2021 16:33

I don't know if, or how, they could track them down.

The alternative is to rant online and do absolutely nothing else.

Surely it's better to try?

If, of course, it's as bad as you say.

HummingBeeBox · 22/08/2021 16:35

Please just make the call with just names if you have to and they may be able to work it out or contact them some how.

Cam2020 · 22/08/2021 16:37

All I can give them is their names and town they live in but house is in her mums name so would they be able to find out that way?

You can but try. That sounds appalling.