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Original poster

To think this is a disaster waiting to happen?

94 replies

PoppyDotx · 22/08/2021 16:02

Hi all,

I am a bit being unreasonable as it's none of my business but I just wanted to rant as I can't to anyone else really:-

My 17 year old cousin is having a baby, fine whatever people have children young however they live at home with the girls mum and it's a two bed house, her dad got her a dog for Christmas which doesn't get along with the resident dog so it's confined to the girls bedroom, not allowed out for toilet as it's a four grand dog and they're scared of it being stolen, it wees and poos in the room, my cousin works 12 hours a day and the girl won't take the dog out (to be fair she is heavily pregnant so I get it) but they refuse to rehome it and her dad has bought her a house (to commit benefit fraud but that's a whole other story) but they need to build it up from scratch and won't be ready so when the baby's born he will be confined to the same room with the dog and all the mess. They believe the dog will be fine with the baby as it's well socialised (it's not) and I have tried to explain that dogs don't really see babies as humans at first as they smell and sound different and with it being a pit type dog they have a really strong bite so they'll have to be really careful but at 17 they already know everything of course and aren't listening to what anyone's saying.

I know it's none of my business so I understand I am being a bit unreasonable but I just genuinely think it's a disaster waiting to happen and I feel sad for both the baby and the dog but also when I had my baby the midwife visited the day after and the health visitor not long after that so I'm wondering what they'll say and do about the situation.

OP posts:
EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 22/08/2021 17:16

Are you really that privileged that you can't believe this situation exists? Frequently?

Continue enjoying the view from your ivory tower.

TwoMountains · 22/08/2021 17:19

Agree it sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.

Do HV’s in your area do home visits before the baby’s born? When I was expecting my DC it was standard practice in my area for HV’s to do an introductory home visit late in the pregnancy.

It needs to be reported to someone but I’m not sure how if you don’t have their address.

Unsure33 · 22/08/2021 17:21

That’s not a puppy ? And not in a confined room ?

Thighdentitycrisis · 22/08/2021 17:22

Can you contact social services in the town your cousin and his girlfriend family are living in?

They might have contact with the family previously in which case it might come up in the system

I agree with you in that I would be really worried about baby 2 teens and dog in one room and your cousin working really long shifts on very little sleep is a risk (once baby arrives) and needs checking out.

lljkk · 22/08/2021 17:29

Don't talk sense Unsure33.
I'm just waiting for the deletion message, now.

Original poster
PoppyDotx · 22/08/2021 17:32

@Unsure33

That’s not a puppy ? And not in a confined room ?
I've removed the picture now as it was a bit outing really but no, I never said it was a puppy it was bought at Christmas and you're right on the picture it isn't confined to a room, every now and then before my cousin was working, he'd take the dog out on a secure field every now and then but that hasn't happened in a while.

If people think it's fake then fine?? The mods can investigate me, I'm not a troll.

OP posts:
2reefsin30knots · 22/08/2021 17:37

I would phone the children's social care duty desk in your area and relay the story and just ask for their advice. That is what the duty desk is there for.

If they think there needs to be a family assessment, they will be able to track them down.

Original poster
PoppyDotx · 22/08/2021 17:39

@EvenMoreFuriousVexation

Are you really that privileged that you can't believe this situation exists? Frequently?

Continue enjoying the view from your ivory tower.

Exactly this, I'm surprised people think it's fake.

Sadly there is deprived areas where people are not educated and well kids have kids (although young parents can be amazing), get benefits and housing and the cycle continues, this is the area my family live in - it's hard as I don't want to be too outing but if I named the place and people knew it then it's honestly not that far fetched of a story.

OP posts:
Soberanne · 22/08/2021 17:41

How do you know the situation if you dont even know where they live or the address

blueberrywaffle · 22/08/2021 17:42

When my midwife came out she always mentioned the dog to me saying make sure I am extra vigilant and they do ask to see we're baby is sleeping etc so maybe they will put her straight !
I am extra super cautious of the dogs around the kids because they can't tell us how they feel... their never left alone due to this but she is a genital giant and our big baby ❤️

Merryoldgoat · 22/08/2021 17:43

I wouldn’t really care if they knew it was me or not. I’d get the address and inform social services.

I’m really sick of the low bar people have when it comes to child protection.

Original poster
PoppyDotx · 22/08/2021 17:44

@Soberanne

How do you know the situation if you dont even know where they live or the address
Through my aunt but it could be argued that it's gossip but don't know why she'd lie about her son but I'll report it tomorrow and then social services can attend (if the information I provide is enough) and if I'm wrong then at least the child is safe, id rather be wrong then something happening in future, like I said I came here to rant and have had some helpful advice.
OP posts:
Original poster
PoppyDotx · 22/08/2021 17:44

@Merryoldgoat

I wouldn’t really care if they knew it was me or not. I’d get the address and inform social services.

I’m really sick of the low bar people have when it comes to child protection.

I have my own child to protect as well.
OP posts:
Mayra1367 · 22/08/2021 17:47

It’s animal abuse in my opinion . Keeping a dog locked up and then introducing a baby is very dangerous. Please report to the relevant authorities to save both the baby and the dog .

Soberanne · 22/08/2021 17:48

@PoppyDotx i agree report then you have done the right thing. If the living environment is true then its not safe for a new born,

but just because a 17 year old isnt good with a dog doesnt mean that they wont be a good mum. Having a baby changes everything.

Original poster
PoppyDotx · 22/08/2021 17:49

@Merryoldgoat

I wouldn’t really care if they knew it was me or not. I’d get the address and inform social services.

I’m really sick of the low bar people have when it comes to child protection.

Sorry pressed too soon - I have my own child to protect soon, before posting this I've messaged my cousin about it and said to be careful with the dog and make sure the rooms all nice and clean before midwife and HV comes as if they have any concerns they may contact SS and my aunt has already called my mum saying she's pissed off with me and will give me "what for" for threatening SS even though I hadn't so I don't know what will happen if and when I do report it but I do know I have to, it's just very difficult as I want to protect my family too.
OP posts:
Merryoldgoat · 22/08/2021 17:49

@PoppyDotx

Me too and it wouldn’t and hasn’t stopped me intervening in the past.

And I know exactly the kind of place you’re talking about as I grew up somewhere like it. I ran from it as soon as I could though.

Original poster
PoppyDotx · 22/08/2021 17:50

[quote Merryoldgoat]@PoppyDotx

Me too and it wouldn’t and hasn’t stopped me intervening in the past.

And I know exactly the kind of place you’re talking about as I grew up somewhere like it. I ran from it as soon as I could though.[/quote]
I'm fortunate enough that I didn't have to grow up in that environment so I'm quite soft in comparison but I know you're right, I guess I'll just have to bite the bullet.

OP posts:
DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 22/08/2021 17:51

@EvenMoreFuriousVexation

Are you really that privileged that you can't believe this situation exists? Frequently?

Continue enjoying the view from your ivory tower.

I absolutely believe situations like this are real.

I'm struggling to comprehend an adult seeing these conditions and not wanting to get involved enough to do anything, but rather come online and bitch about it.

As it turns out the op hasn't seen these conditions herself and is going by hearsay, so it makes more sense now.

Good luck with your calls tomorrow op.

Merryoldgoat · 22/08/2021 17:51

but just because a 17 year old isnt good with a dog doesnt mean that they wont be a good mum. Having a baby changes everything.

A pregnant 17yo should still have the sense to understand why a baby in that set up is a recipe for disaster.

Merryoldgoat · 22/08/2021 17:54

@PoppyDotx

I thank my lucky stars for a family who, whilst poor and dysfunctional in many ways, always put their children front and centre.

They didn’t always get it right but no one would’ve cared about themselves over a child’s safety.

Lou98 · 22/08/2021 17:59

@Booboosweet

This is mad but I don't like dogs around babies full stop let alone some pitbull type dog.

Always one 🙄 I have a 3 month old baby at home and my two staff's are amazing with him, unlike my MIL's two cute fluffy little things that people think are so innocent.

OP, I completely get why you're concerned. I don't think the HV or MW will do anything though unless they're told about the situation. We had a baby in May and the Midwife came for the first 4 days but was only in the livingroom, never asked about bedroom or sleeping arrangements etc. We have two dogs that they saw but other than asking how they're finding the change they never mentioned it or asked questions.

Same when the HV came, my baby is 14 weeks and I've only seen her 3 times and again, was only ever in the livingroom and never asked about pets (the dogs are with the walker the days she comes) or sleeping arrangements.
It is just my DP and I in the house though so may be different if they're living with parents although I'd think unless they offered up the information I doubt it's something they'd ask.

If you know what town they live in would you be able to perhaps contact local social services and give their names? I'm not sure if you can do that without an address but would be worth a try

Midwife1997 · 22/08/2021 17:59

Do you know which hospital she is booked into? Phone their Community Midwives department. If you provide her name, date of birth and possibly her locality I'm sure they would do something about this as this is potentially a Safeguarding issue.

Midwife

HelpIcantfindaname · 22/08/2021 18:01

When the midwife & health visitor do visit they are most likely to see mum & baby in the sitting room, & not go into the room where the dog & baby sleep at all, so they won't actually see a potentially dangerous dog & all it's mess.
I had my first baby at 16, & my 4th at 40. The midwives & health visitors never went in my childrens rooms..

StoneofDestiny · 22/08/2021 18:02

Surely you could get the address if you said you want to send a small gift. Either way you need to get SS involved for the sake of the child.

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