To ask if you think he's too old

[Takeitback99]

I'm 32 he's almost 48.
Get on well.
Spoke for over a year and have started meeting up to spend time with eachother etc.
Just told my sister today that he's a good friend but we are close and I am enjoying getting to know him. Said he was in his 40s.

She's gone online and said yeah and nearly out if them. Find yourself a toyboy etc. She's making me feel uncomfortable as I really like him and this has already made me feel like he isn't going to slot into my life how I hoped.

Is he too old for me? It seems that extra 3 or 4 years is making eyebrows raise.

My parents only had a two month age gap. Sadly Mum died at 54. I doubt my Dad expected to become a widower in his 50s. Ageing, health and life expectancy can be a bit of a lottery, so if you like him, then go for it!

Does he want to spend time with your kids if he's been there done that with his? I'm with someone 7 years older and he acts about 20 years older, maybe in 7 years I'll be creaking and overweight too 🤷‍♀️ I personally feel ideally finding someone around the same age and life stage is best. Obviously not that easy.

If you're happy what are you worried about. My daughter is 39 and her boyfriend of many years is 57. They are very happy so I wouldn't worry what other people think. Good luck to you.

I'm 31 (and married to a man 14 days older than me, so the opposite of an age gap ) but if I was single now, my age ceiling would be 40. My auntie was married to man 20 years her senior and I saw how miserable she was when he suddenly turned into a grumpy old man who didn't want to do anything, then he retired, got sick and died when she was just 55.

As an aside, I recently found out that my 36yo ex is dating a 19yo, which is beyond creepy.

I’m 42 and my husband is 55. We’ve been together 20 years and have a 9 year old. He seems to have just run out of steam and is firmly in the grumpy old man zone. My son and I are close and share many active hobbies. My husband is not interested in trying anything new. He used to be the one who pushed to do things, it’s quite sad really. Wouldn’t pick an older man again, sorry to say that. Physical affection/sex gone, he’s not bothered at all and it’s definitely age related.

48 isnt old at all but it's too big an age gap. He'll be a pensioner when you're about his age. It's not fair on any children either really.

Dfs partner has been married 3 times and she says that more than 10 years is too much. You start to notice it as you get older.

Fine IMO unless he has kids and you want kids

There’s a formula.

A is the age of the older partner.

Half A + 7 = youngest partner you can reasonably have

48/2 + 7= 24 + 7 = 31

Formula says yes so crack on

If you don’t want kids then yes I think it’s fine. He would have to be pretty hot for me to accept a age gap that big though!

@eeek88

There’s a formula.

A is the age of the older partner.

Half A + 7 = youngest partner you can reasonably have

48/2 + 7= 24 + 7 = 31

Formula says yes so crack on

Biggest load of shite going. A randomly created 'formula' does not dictate people's real lives. It's like something two 14 year olds came up with in their bedroom.

Biggest load of shite going

100% agree. It's not a "formulae" it's just made up

Not too old

I love the when you are 40 he will be 56, when you are 60 he will be 76, when you are 80 he will be 96, when you are 100 he will be 116 comments. OP didn't even say it was going to be a long term thing.
Just enjoy whatever happiness you get at whatever stage in life you are at

Too old. He'll become an old man while you're still young. My husband is 16 years older than me (I'm 52) and has turned into a mardy old git on occasions. And sex? Haha.

If I could turn back time knowing what I know now I wouldn't have started the relationship.

I think it's fine, if you like him and he makes you happy then go for it. No one can tell you what the future will be like so going into any relationship is a risk.
I'm a lot older than my husband, it works for us and I couldn't give a flying feck what other people think about it.

As a life partner? Probably I reckon.
Have a few friends that had an age gap of 10 or so years. Became more of an issue as they became older, not less.

I think the ages of your kids and his feelings about them would be the decider for me in your shoes - I personally wouldn't date someone that much older for all the reasons above, but if you like him and aren't bothered about those (the age gap seeming much bigger as he gets older, mainly) then I think you have to consider whether he's going to want to e.g. spend lots of time with younger children, understand the demands of younger children if it's been a while since his were kids, want to potentially live with children/teenagers again.

Anecdotally my dad's wife is 16 years younger than him. He's not old - nearly 60 - but the difference between them seems huge. She wants to buy a big fixer-upper house as a project, build a campervan, she's got a lot of energy and enthusiasm for big, long-term projects. He's far from a doddering aul fella but he's not up for that, he's thinking about downsizing, about saving hard for a good, relaxed retirement. I feel for them both - they love each other very much but they want very different things out of the next 10 years of their life.