Self Appointed Family Photographer

[LadyOfLittleLeisure]

This blew up bigger than it needed to be (but did calm down again quickly) and I want to know when it inevitably gets brought up in the future if I was being totally unreasonable or not ...

Trying to relax around family member's house and another family member (who takes it upon herself to be the self appointed family photographer) keeps taking photos of us on her smart phone then putting them on group WhatsApp. I guess they were meant to be intimate, candid shots but I feel it was both constant/intrusive and they were extremely unflattering: me hunched over (fat roll out) with hair scraped back, no make up taking 5 mins to escape the kids, me sat watching TV with DH (with badly corrected red eye), me picking stuff off the floor, etc (you get the idea). When I asked her to stop because I was trying to relax with one of my DC she got very arsey with me and immediately started to tear up.

AIBU to demand that she slows down the photo taking and asks before she snaps?

@LadyOfLittleLeisure

This blew up bigger than it needed to be (but did calm down again quickly) and I want to know when it inevitably gets brought up in the future if I was being totally unreasonable or not ...

Trying to relax around family member's house and another family member (who takes it upon herself to be the self appointed family photographer) keeps taking photos of us on her smart phone then putting them on group WhatsApp. I guess they were meant to be intimate, candid shots but I feel it was both constant/intrusive and they were extremely unflattering: me hunched over (fat roll out) with hair scraped back, no make up taking 5 mins to escape the kids, me sat watching TV with DH (with badly corrected red eye), me picking stuff off the floor, etc (you get the idea). When I asked her to stop because I was trying to relax with one of my DC she got very arsey with me and immediately started to tear up.

AIBU to demand that she slows down the photo taking and asks before she snaps?

I won't have photos taken, her phone would be in the microwave! One person did this on a tour of India and because I'd told him not to take any it became a challenge to get me! This was before every man and his dog could put his/her work on the internet to amuse their fellow idiots. This person went to the loo and I deleted every photo from his camera, a 32 card, so there were hundreds.

@NotJustACigar

YANBu she sounds like she has some mental health issues going on to cause her to react this way but her behaviour would have been very annoying. She should ask before snapping and shouldn't snap so much.

Sod her MH issues, probably just being a nasty person, she's totally at fault whatever the reasons. What about the MH of the people whose privacy she's invading, they're far more important.

@pinkcircustop

I think YABU and candid photos are lovely but then I can’t be entertaining people who “don’t like their photo taken” so 🤷‍♀️

Then you're as nasty a person as the one invading people's privacy.

@pandapots

Sounds like my mother in law. Constantly putting a camera in your face, again and again and again when you're just trying to relax / in your dressing gown / playing with the kids.

It makes me feel constantly on edge and we have asked her again and again to stop (not just me but other members of the family too as it drives them mad as well). Now she has acquired a paparazzi style lens too so we aren't even safe from a distance.

All this excessive photo taking is a bit ironic as in spite of there being hundreds of family photos on their wall not one includes me .

If she's in your face then I'm sure that there will be an accident that leaves her phone smashed.

@LadyOfLittleLeisure

I'm definitely going to ignore the crocodile tears when it comes up again. More worried about when she inevitably says I'm affecting her mental health. I'm not without compassion (and have had serious mental illness myself) but it's another thing she says if anyone ever disagrees with her, so she gets her own way on all issues. Always.

Answer her, that her repeatedly invading YOUR privacy is damaging YOUR MH.

"Oh stop snivelling Barbara, and grow the fuck up", would probably be the words out of my mouth.
But then I'm old and crabby.

Oh I'd hate that too

YANBU. That's incredibly annoying. I don't even like it when someone in the family decides we "have" to take a posed photo. Candids with no warning when you're cleaning or trying to relax would be infuriating, especially if she the shares them with other people.

Can't be doing with people who don't want their photo taken? Hm. Must be nice to not give a damn if you look like shit in photos...

I can't be doing without people who think it's their right to take photos of others without caring how those people feel about it. How rude!