Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My manager won't let me go, please help

102 replies

badmanager201 · 20/08/2021 11:34

I’ve started a new job back in may but I don’t drive and it’s just too far from home. I spent a lot of money on transport, I’ve asked to be transferred to their branch that is closer to me, my manager emailed them and they were happy to accept me. My last day at my current job was 1 august, but was asked to stay another 4 weeks because someone quit. I agreed and was happy to help out. It was agreed I would then leave at 1 September, the manager at the other branch want me to start 6 September. I spoke to their manager and he said he’s just waiting to get the transfer form from my current manager and then I’d would ready to start.

Went and spoke to my manager last week, and asked him when he can send the transfer form? He then tells me they’re not ready to let me go yet, I might not be able to start there at 6 September bla bla.

Honestly I’m just tired of it, I told him I’ve helped you guys out and stayed 4 weeks, he lost it and said “don’t think you did us a favour, I don’t have to transfer you”

I don’t know what to do now. I’ve been advised by some of my colleagues to just quit and then apply as a new person at their other branch instead of being transferred? Problem is him and the other manager are good friends, and im scared that when I do quit, he’s just going to tell the other manager not to hire me? What do you think?

OP posts:
MaMelon · 20/08/2021 12:28

Oh don’t be daft. The manager has already agreed to this transfer snd is now stalling the process.

OP - speak to your HR dept and find out what the policy says, rather than listening to MN.

JacquelineCarlyle · 20/08/2021 12:30

I agree with @MaMelon

BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand · 20/08/2021 12:30

@badmanager201

This is what it says in my contract regarding transfers:

However, the company reserves the right to transfer you to an alternative employment site within a reasonable distance of your base, in which circumstances any appropriate excess travel expenses will be reimbursed.

Yes, because that's super-relevant to you joining and then deciding that the commute (which you knew about before you started) isn't great. Confused

That clause is pretty obviously in your contract to fulfil the business's need to staff their branches. It doesn't mean that employees can demand transfers to suit them.

ClaudiaWankleman · 20/08/2021 12:31

I agree, it is my fault tbh I should never have taken a job that is this far from home. But I was just desperate and finally happy to have a job. I never thought of transferring, it was actually one of my colleagues who suggested that because the other branch is 15 mins from my home.

There's a lot of unreasonably unsympathetic people here (who I suspect all work from home). I don't blame you at all for taking a job far from home - it's a job and everyone has to have one!

I would raise these issues with the other manager. Keep impressing how much you want to work there and that the situation is untenable in the long term and you may have to hand in your notice and look for something closer to home. Any organisation (and manager) worth their salt will want to keep a trained employee around where possible.

Loubilou09 · 20/08/2021 12:32

@millymollymoomoo

Sorry but this is your problem not theirs You accepted a job that’s too far If they can’t accommodate your request you’ll need to decide what to do
Where on earth did you get that it's the OP's fault!?!

Did you actually read the OP?

vivainsomnia · 20/08/2021 12:32

He was happy for you to transfer when staffing levels meant it was ok to do so. Unfortunately for you, someone left, so he now can afford to lose two staff. You need to be patient and that's that. As said already, he was nice to agree to it.

It's frustrating for you but you should still count your blessing. It could have been a no from the start.

plodalong12 · 20/08/2021 12:33

@phishy

HE HAS ALREADY AGREED TO THE TRANSFER.

I hope none of you work in HR!

I hope you don’t either if you go around shouting at people.

BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand · 20/08/2021 12:33

@vivainsomnia

He was happy for you to transfer when staffing levels meant it was ok to do so. Unfortunately for you, someone left, so he now can afford to lose two staff. You need to be patient and that's that. As said already, he was nice to agree to it.

It's frustrating for you but you should still count your blessing. It could have been a no from the start.

100%

OP - take this as a lesson on the value of verbal agreements. Until it's written in your contract, it's not confirmed.

Flowerlane · 20/08/2021 12:36

@ClaudiaWankleman

I agree, it is my fault tbh I should never have taken a job that is this far from home. But I was just desperate and finally happy to have a job. I never thought of transferring, it was actually one of my colleagues who suggested that because the other branch is 15 mins from my home.

There's a lot of unreasonably unsympathetic people here (who I suspect all work from home). I don't blame you at all for taking a job far from home - it's a job and everyone has to have one!

I would raise these issues with the other manager. Keep impressing how much you want to work there and that the situation is untenable in the long term and you may have to hand in your notice and look for something closer to home. Any organisation (and manager) worth their salt will want to keep a trained employee around where possible.

You probably classed me as one of the unsympathetic people on this thread who you suspect all work from home…

Just to clarify I work 1.5 - 2 hours away from my home so know all too well about how hard travelling is! I also worked all through the pandemic and didn’t get to work from home.Grin

Crinkle77 · 20/08/2021 12:40

@millymollymoomoo

Sorry but this is your problem not theirs You accepted a job that’s too far If they can’t accommodate your request you’ll need to decide what to do
Yep I agree. I think you're taking the mickey.
igelkott2021 · 20/08/2021 12:41

@MaMelon

Oh don’t be daft. The manager has already agreed to this transfer snd is now stalling the process.

OP - speak to your HR dept and find out what the policy says, rather than listening to MN.

Exactly this. Some ridiculous comments on here.
BoredZelda · 20/08/2021 12:42

don’t think you did us a favour, I don’t have to transfer you

He's not wrong. He doesn't have to. He's changed his mind. All you can do now is accept it, or go further up the chain and see if someone else can make the decision. Or quit and find another job.

SusieBob · 20/08/2021 12:43

Taking the mickey to follow a company's transfer policy?

Ok, then.

OP, you probably need to wait now until your current branch recruits someone to cover the person who left.

Bluntness100 · 20/08/2021 12:44

Honestly I’d play nicely here. He doesn’t need to transfer you. I’d book a meeting snd sit him down and say you’re happy to help but can he give you a timeline and is rhe new manager ok with it?

I’d then speak to thr new manager.

I’d not quit as they may not hire you back. In fact likely not.

Hannayeah · 20/08/2021 12:52

I would approach him and tell him you understand the branch is now in a difficult position given staffing levels have changed. Ask what conditions need to be met for him to be ready to complete the transfer. Is it hiring one new person? Two?

I’d calmly explain that you made a mistake in not comprehending the difficulty of the commute and you understand how frustrating that is for him because hiring people to find they won’t work out makes his job harder.

Then say, I’m able to stay on through X date and if you agree to make this a deadline for my transfer then I’ll be very happy to stay with the company. If that does not work for you we should probably just agree for me to hand in my notice now.

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 20/08/2021 12:53

OP has done nothing wrong in requesting a transfer - she took the job in good faith and has every right to leave the job if she wishes, this way at least the company doesn't lose her skills (which seem to be in demand!) and she gets to remain employed. Nobody owes their employer loyalty after being employed for a few months only.

NoProblem123 · 20/08/2021 13:00

Just email them both saying you look forward to starting on the 6th, that you’re really excited, and that you really appreciate everything they’ve done to accommodate your request.
Then start on the 6th.

JaneKing75 · 20/08/2021 13:02

With the way the current job market is you could walk out on friday and start somewhere new one Monday. There's a reason he doesn't want to let you go, he knows he'll have a devils job replacing you

randomlyLostInWales · 20/08/2021 13:02

You took a job that you knew full well was too far to travel for you,

I've been there on public transport conections that look fine or were fine in trial runs suddenly stop connecting every day or becuase of regular disruption or trains being canceled you have to get earleir buses and trains which means longer communtes - cheaper tickers aren't accessible or prices go up.

When I deciced it was too much moving and job hunting were my routes to look into - in your shoes OP I'd talk to HR see if current manager can/is blocking the move - if they are it may be till they can recruit more staff. I think quiting and re-applying would count against you - so I'f try getting the transfer done which may well take some more time and I'd avoid upsetting either manager in meantime.

I'd also go job hunting - it's easier to get a new job when you already have one - but I woudln't just quit.

QueenBee52 · 20/08/2021 13:04

@NoProblem123

Just email them both saying you look forward to starting on the 6th, that you’re really excited, and that you really appreciate everything they’ve done to accommodate your request. Then start on the 6th.

good idea...

address it to them both 🌸

Redglitter · 20/08/2021 13:07

@badmanager201

This is what it says in my contract regarding transfers:

However, the company reserves the right to transfer you to an alternative employment site within a reasonable distance of your base, in which circumstances any appropriate excess travel expenses will be reimbursed.

But that's got no relevance to your situation.
ChicChaos · 20/08/2021 13:11

@badmanager201

This is what it says in my contract regarding transfers:

However, the company reserves the right to transfer you to an alternative employment site within a reasonable distance of your base, in which circumstances any appropriate excess travel expenses will be reimbursed.

That doesn't apply in your situation, that refers to the company asking you to work elsewhere.

The transfer is unlikely to happen unless the manager does the paperwork and as he's said, he doesn't have to transfer you. I would raise an eyebrow at someone wanting to leave so soon and your comment about 'helping out' was ill-advised in my opinion and I'm not surprised they were cross about it. As previous posters have said, resigning wouldn't look good either. I'd wait until the new member of staff for your current branch is recruited and ask again at that point.

SusieBob · 20/08/2021 13:16

@NoProblem123

Just email them both saying you look forward to starting on the 6th, that you’re really excited, and that you really appreciate everything they’ve done to accommodate your request. Then start on the 6th.
Yeah... this is terrible advice.
vivainsomnia · 20/08/2021 13:21

a lot of people here with an inflated sense of entitment.

BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand · 20/08/2021 13:26

Yeah... this is terrible advice.

Agreed. If you want your work to think you are delusional and hard work, then do that.

If you actually want to transfer, speak to your manager, acknowledge the difficulties they have with staffing, and agree a compromise that works. It won't be instant, but internal transfers rarely are.