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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed that because of other peoples' stupid paranoya, I am not allowed to photograph/video *my* child in his school play?

50 replies

wannaBe · 30/11/2007 17:35

yes, I know this is common place but...

I do not wish to photograph other peoples' children, I wish to photograph my child.

but because "some parents do not wish to have their children photographed, cameras will not be permitted" .

Ffs what are the chances of paedo's coming to watch the christmas play!

OP posts:
purpleturtle · 30/11/2007 17:36

YANBU

The world's gone mad.

TheHollyandMcDreamy · 30/11/2007 17:36

That's really sad Luckily no other parent has objected to photos being taken at our school - yet!!!

Camillathechicken · 30/11/2007 17:37

i don;t think it is the fear peadophiles will be in the audience, but that pics of other peoples children or video will end up on family websites, blogs , facebook etc.. and be found by paedophiles.

i still think it is a total overreaction.

smeeinachristmastreeinnit · 30/11/2007 17:38

i undrestand why you are annoyed,i would be too. have the school not offered to take a group pic etc for the parents?

i have to say thogh that the chances of a paedo being in a school hall watching a school play are prob higher than you would imagine!

sugar34plum · 30/11/2007 17:40

Yes we have this at our school too in kent. I signed to say photos could be taken of my son and now his on the cover of the school portfolio and he looks gorgeous!

I think its mad to say no to having your dc's photo taken in school.When they are older and look back and see old class mates its lovely for them to have all memories.

Camillathechicken · 30/11/2007 17:41

really smee?

hercules1 · 30/11/2007 17:42

It could be that one of the children are adopted. I have a friend who can't agree because of this.

Flibbertyjibbet · 30/11/2007 17:42

Do they have a time after the production when all parents can take photos? That is what happens at my sisters kiddies school.
Have to say agree I would not be happy if pics of my boys ended up all over someone else's facebook or family website for any one to peer at.
I was Mary in the nativity play at my primary school, just the mums came as the dads all worked, no-one brought a camera. I can't say that the lack of a photographic record of the peak of my acting career has affected me too badly

hatrick · 30/11/2007 17:43

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3madboys · 30/11/2007 17:43

they may just be saying that to cover themselves, i know our school have the same rule, but i am on the governers board and they dont have it cos some parents dont want pictures taken, we actually have it as we have a number of pupils who are on the 'at risk register' and for their safety photos arent allowed.

smeeinachristmastreeinnit · 30/11/2007 17:45

well camilla, our local infant school has a community performance whereby anyone in the village can attend.
how do i or you or the school know who is or isnt a paedophile?
we dont,so i do understand why the schools do this but would also be pissed off as a parent wanting to photgraph my own child.

Original poster
wannaBe · 30/11/2007 17:47

no as I'm aware all the consent forms have been studied to see if consent has been given for all children.

but.. all the children were in the advertiser last term so if parents didn't want pictures taken their children were excluded from that but I know that none in ds' class were because he pointed all of them out in the picture.

maybe I'll ask if a group photo can be taken at some point with those children not permitted taken out?

OP posts:
amytheearwaxbanisher · 30/11/2007 17:49

i think things have gone a bit mad my ds 2 was at one of those kidszone places and was about to take a photo of him in the ball pen and my dh said are you mad you are not allowed take photos in these places in case your a perv wtf!!!ynbu

Original poster
wannaBe · 30/11/2007 17:50

smeein reality is though that if there were paedophiles lurking waiting to photograph our children then chances are they could have got access to them anyway - through inviting them on playdates etc - the ticket allocations have been made as two tickets per family so most have gone to parents, with any extra tickets being sold after, and most of those will undoubtedly go to grandparents.

OP posts:
hatrick · 30/11/2007 17:51

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Katz · 30/11/2007 17:52

i think so too, DH can't make dd1's first ever school play and a video yo watch would be great.

although someone did explain it to me that some parents refuse because they have escaped abusive partners and don't wish to be found therefore refuse permission on the just in case the ex see's the photo and finds them grounds

Camillathechicken · 30/11/2007 17:52

i see smee. our school has strict parents only, with a numbered ticket policy.

i wasn;t being arsey, i was genuinley wanting to know.

IIRC most abuse is perpetrated by family members, so maybe banning parents from the show would be safer

being ridicolous, but i think it is a terrible shame that the paranoia has come to this

southeastastra · 30/11/2007 17:57

the amount of parents taking photos and videoing the events are sooo irritating.

sensiblehead · 30/11/2007 18:03

The sad fact is that, even with a strict parents only policy, you cannot be sure there is not someone in the audience with an interest in photos of children.

However, it is unlikley that the ban is because of this and is more likely to be for the reasons others have given.

It is sad but, in truth, there could be people there with a lot more to lose than just a photo of their dc in the play!

goingfor3christmaspuddings · 30/11/2007 18:05

DD's school have banned us from taking photos and videos because they are hiring someone to film it and charging us £12!

lovecat · 30/11/2007 18:07

While I completely see why people in refuges etc would not want pics of their children taking, I find the paedo argument spurious to say the least.

Unless you're doing a school production of 'Hair', anyone likely to be getting their rocks off over a fully-costumed nativity play is more likely to stay at home perusing the Next Directory for his/her jollies - far less hassle! [tongue stuck firmly in cheek]

southeastastra · 30/11/2007 18:07

i'd rather pay £12 and have one person videoing it than 20 people jostling for positions spoiling it for everyone else.

hatrick · 30/11/2007 18:08

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ScottishMummy · 30/11/2007 18:25

weeeeell, i think the point is schools are scared of litigation. unfortunately images can be reproduced, and essentially whilst you wannaBe dont mind other parents might, and their consent has not been obtained. a hired film is the best way to reproduce the play, at least you get a copy.

aside from that, the chances of a paedo at the play are unfortunately higher than you think. after all they are potentially any man/woman. the bloke next door, the teacher, the lady from the shop..etc..etc

edam · 30/11/2007 18:29

consent is only an issue if the pictures are going to be used for commercial purposes - so magazines will use consent forms for any child models, or for children pictured in 'real life' stories. But I don't think this would apply to a school play!