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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is it ok to use Grindr if you are a teacher?

56 replies

whydontyousayso · 19/08/2021 14:52

Asking this on behalf of a friend, my friend is about to start his teacher training to become a secondary school teacher. He uses Grindr and is wondering whether it would best to delete it due to becoming a teacher as he doesn't know if there are polices that discourages use of using apps like Grindr in case of coming across underage kids which I'm sure there are on Grindr like any other dating app. Is my friend overthinking things or is he right in being concerned?

OP posts:
araiwa · 19/08/2021 14:55

Don't swipe yes on schoolboys?

Helenluvsrob · 19/08/2021 14:56

Just don’t. Such a potential for difficulties.

HugeAckmansWife · 19/08/2021 14:57

I'm a teacher of secondary and used OLD sites but not Tinder etc, the paid ones. Kids do look up new and young teachers online and whilst he is of course entitled to a private life its probably a good idea to come off Grindr for a while - they could easily cause all sorts of issues for him. Most contracts do include a line about not bringing the school into disrepute and whilst he is not doing anything illegal or immoral actually, his life will be easier if he's not on it. Tell him to make sure all his social media is locked down tight or change the spelling of his name so he's harder to find.

Snoozer11 · 19/08/2021 15:00

There are loads of teachers on Grindr. It's fine.

NoSquirrels · 19/08/2021 15:00

If I was him I would not be using Grindr or Tinder or any dating app. It’s a minefield and will cause him more hassle than it’s worth. And he needs to know his school’s policies!

SionnachRua · 19/08/2021 15:03

Fine for teachers to use either Tinder or Grindr imo, I know plenty on one or the the other. Just don't send lewd messages to people and it'll be fine.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 19/08/2021 15:04

I’ve never been in a position to use a dating app but I have several friends who are teachers and use Tindr. They’re primary school teachers if that makes a difference.

I would be more concerned about finding a parent on there.

SionnachRua · 19/08/2021 15:05

And tbh, Grindr has an age restriction of 18+ so if parents are upset about their underage child coming across a teacher on it, they might need to question the precious child as to what they're doing on it in the first place...

PumpkinKlNG · 19/08/2021 15:07

My sister used tinder and she’s a teacher

NoSquirrels · 19/08/2021 15:08

@SionnachRua

And tbh, Grindr has an age restriction of 18+ so if parents are upset about their underage child coming across a teacher on it, they might need to question the precious child as to what they're doing on it in the first place...
I’d be thinking of it more in terms of hassle that the OP’s teacher friend might get, rather than parents being appalled.

It’s 100% fine for teachers to be on dating sites, obviously. But secondary school kids aren’t renowned for being mature and understanding. I think it just sets him off on the wrong foot if he’ll potentially get back chat and gossip off the kids he’s teaching if they find his profile on Grindr.

PwySyddYma · 19/08/2021 15:16

It's his personal adult life, if he's comfortable with the children and parents knowing he is on there then I don't see the issue.

I have a clause in my employment contract that forbids me for having social/romantic relationship with service users. I'm on tinder if one pops up I just swipe left don't engage.

therocinante · 19/08/2021 15:25

I know a fair few teachers on Tinder/Grindr, can't see it being a problem! As long as he doesn't swipe them obviously.

HurryUpAndWait23 · 19/08/2021 15:27

I don't see why not.

LittleRedPill · 19/08/2021 15:30

Teachers are as entitled as anyone else to a private life.

Being gay and wanting to hook up with other consenting men is not a safeguarding issue at all.

thanksforyourcommentrandomman · 19/08/2021 15:32

@araiwa

Don't swipe yes on schoolboys?
Out of order, just because he's gay doesn't make him a paedophile
ThanksItHasPockets · 19/08/2021 15:42

Teachers are entitled to a private life just as much as anyone else but there are some sensible precautions to take - e.g. security settings high, only using profile pictures he is happy to be in the public domain. Theoretically Grindr is 18+ but of course there's a chance a student might see him on there which would 'out' him at work if he isn't already so he might want to consider this. Finally, his university and his placement schools will have their own policies for social media use by staff and he needs to check these.

SisterBeaverhausen · 19/08/2021 15:48

Absolutely fine. I have a few friends who are teachers. One's on tinder, ones on grindr and the others married so hopefully she's not on anything. But there's no legal issues with being on it as it's 18+

Evenstar · 19/08/2021 15:55

Not quite the same, but I have friends on social media who work in education or NHS etc and they will be Molly Jane for example rather than Molly and their surname, it means you are not as easy to find by parents or pupils. That might be sensible if he is going to use dating apps.

Waveafterwaveslowlydrifting · 19/08/2021 15:56

I'm a teacher.
He needs to check his particular school's code of conduct and social media policy.

LividLaVidaLoca · 19/08/2021 15:59

I met my husband on Tinder and my gbf was on Grindr.

Just tell him not to put his dick on it/make sure there’s nothing on the public part that he wouldn’t want to explain to the headteacher.

More likely to find parents on it than kids having a laugh tbh.

SimonJT · 19/08/2021 15:59

Teachers are allowed to have relationships.

Tommika · 19/08/2021 16:01

He needs to check the policy, consider what photos he has - particularly his main photo, and what details are in his profile.

There’s nothing wrong with being on online dating sites, etc

For tinder & grinder it is just a quick scan of suggested profiles and swiping to like or discard, unlike the more ‘traditional’ online dating of searching profiles. So he either would or would not pop up when someone is browsing.

….. and it should go without saying - don’t search while at school and also ensure he’s logged out so doesn’t appear ‘active nearby’ tc if someone is in school and swiping

DeflatedGinDrinker · 19/08/2021 16:03

Don't see the problem. My sister is a teacher and has had to act sober and put on her teacher voice to so many parents and kids when shes out it's hilarious. She's used dating sites in the past and even done drugs. Shock.

DeflatedGinDrinker · 19/08/2021 16:04

And stolen 😆🙈

Yourstupidityexhaustsme · 19/08/2021 16:11

Course it is.

It's a dating sight, not just for sexual encounters. It's really the 2020's equivalent of Plenty of Fish.