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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel cheated

70 replies

Planetsandstars · 19/08/2021 07:57

Pregnancy spent in lockdown, no partners at scans, no newborn photo shoot, not even a proper send off at work.

Newborn in lockdown.

Then as soon as we can do things again the weather is beyond shit, I wanted a summer …

and if the restrictions are eased, why aren’t they? Why are some places still blaming covid for crap service?

OP posts:

Zzzzzzxxx · 19/08/2021 08:45

What do you mean “why are places still blaming covid for crap service ?”

Surely you understand that people are still getting covid and bussiness have staff shortages due to isolating staff members / supply chain shortages etc etc

pinkcircustop · 19/08/2021 08:47

Everyone has been “cheated” out of something during this pandemic from students to the elderly to kids.

It’s not just parents, and yes I understand as I also had a baby in lockdown.

SoupDragon · 19/08/2021 08:52

Why are some places still blaming covid for crap service?

As a PP said, it's because the restrictions have gone, not Covid.

Waspsarearseholes · 19/08/2021 08:53

Pregnancy spent in lockdown, no partners at scans, no newborn photo shoot, not even a proper send off at work.

At least you didn't lose a loved one from covid. Which the restrictions helped to prevent. So there's ways that.

MNmonster · 19/08/2021 08:54

Lockdown has been shit for everyone.

But a lot of people don't have partners at scans, don't get baby photoshoots and don't get a decent send off at work in the best of times.

There are people who have lost absolutely everything and are completely destitute as a result of this.

vodkaredbullgirl · 19/08/2021 08:55

We have all been cheated in different ways.

GoodnightGrandma · 19/08/2021 08:56

My DH was working so only came to scans if he was off, new born photos shoots weren’t a thing when mine were born, and I didn’t get a send off from work. I was given a card and present on my last day.
Perhaps lower your expectations.

PalmarisLongus · 19/08/2021 09:00

130000 are dead, they lost more than a summer and baby photo session.

bloodywhitecat · 19/08/2021 09:01

My husband has been through biopsy after biopsy, one of the biggest surgeries known (Whipple's) then chemo pretty much alone. I was allowed to the appointment where he was told he had six months to live though. At the start of lockdown he was told by a GP receptionist that sudden onset, painless jaundice was not worthy of an emergency appointment and he could wait 10 days for a phone call. Then the GP faffed about and referred him for a routine scan. His treatments were delayed by covid and ultimately it will cost him his life. I feel very cheated.

IridescentPurple · 19/08/2021 09:01

But a lot of people don't have partners at scans, don't get baby photoshoots and don't get a decent send off at work in the best of times

This. I and most of my peers went for scans alone as partners working. Didn't think everybody has baby shoots. And as for a good send off at work. Haha

AnonymousCheerleader · 19/08/2021 09:03

Hold on, I'm supposed to do a newborn photo shoot??

girlmom21 · 19/08/2021 09:04

I think people are being harsh here. You're allowed to be upset that you didn't get the pregnancy/start to parenthood you'd hoped for.

Just because other people have it worse, it doesn't mean you can't be upset that you've missed out.

It's a bit shit. Scans alone were hard but most places are reopen now. You could go for a family photo shoot.

Waspsarearseholes · 19/08/2021 09:05

I just cringe at the entitlement of some. Not having a 'proper send off' from work, seriously? You can't get pregnant in the middle of a pandemic and then get annoyed that your 'pregnancy experience' has been 'ruined' because of the pandemic. You have a baby. That was the goal of getting pregnant, wasn't it?

CabbagesGreen · 19/08/2021 09:07

Yeah it socks, I don't think anyone has had a particularly lovely pandemic though. Was your baby born in first lockdown? If so that's particularly tough as the world was so scary and you've had to go through winter with a newborn and nothing to do but trudge around in the rain.

Try and look forward though.

CabbagesGreen · 19/08/2021 09:07

It sucks even

idontknowwhyibother · 19/08/2021 09:08

I wish my only problem was not having a send off from work, oh what an easy life that would be! 😂
You sound so selfish and ridiculous what about those who lost loved ones and lost all their future plans with them? My friends DC died from covid at the age of two but here you are bitching about some seriously Ridicolous things. Poor you OP. 🙄

Vallmo47 · 19/08/2021 09:08

@girlmom21 Completely agree.

So you are never allowed to have a bad day or bad experience because there are people elsewhere who don’t have clean water to drink? Come on, I’m sure we’ve all had our moans and low points throughout this pandemic and beyond.

54321nought · 19/08/2021 09:09

I think your losses are small too, and I get you don't have what you want, but really, these are very privileged problems to have.

I never had partners at scans, and certainly no new born photo shoot.

I prefer cool weather to hot weather, so would have felt more annoyed at a hot summer with little ones.

And covid is still causing massive disruption, and don't forget, that is on top of Brexit

Just enjoy your baby.

Next time, you might be overwhelmed with visitors and expectations and feel quite nostalgic for the peaceful quiet start you had to motherhood

CabbagesGreen · 19/08/2021 09:09

@Waspsarearseholes

I don't think it's clear when OP got pregnant. If baby was born in first or 2nd lockdown even then they might have been pregnant before it all kicked off?

LawnFever · 19/08/2021 09:12

God this all seems mostly materialistic, no send off at work, no presents then? No photo shoot, seriously take your own photos, do one now etc?

Nobody has had anyone at any medical appointments whatsoever, be thankful you have your healthy newborn and stop whinging.

0blio · 19/08/2021 09:15

We've all had to make sacrifices but I don't think not having a baby photoshoot and a send off from work really compares to what many of us have had to endure. Thank your lucky stars you've got through this pretty much unscathed and with a partner and lovely new baby.

@bloodywhitecat

vivainsomnia · 19/08/2021 09:16

You're right OP, but you also had the chance to get pregnant, get good healthcare and give birth without having to worry about paying for it. You've now got a lovely baby and money to go out and make the most of it. Sounds like you had it really good compared to many in this world.

SoupDragon · 19/08/2021 09:17

So you are never allowed to have a bad day or bad experience because there are people elsewhere who don’t have clean water to drink?

I think it's somewhat distasteful when there will be people actually on here who have lost loved ones and livelihoods due to this pandemic.

SilverTimpani · 19/08/2021 09:18

It’s an understandable disappointment Covid has made being a parent to a newborn a lonely and difficult time.

I think your comments about poor service are a bit harsh, because covid is still causing difficulties with staff shortages and supply issues etc. But I absolutely understand that it means the experience of having a baby isn’t what you expected. I had my first last year as well, so I do get it.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 19/08/2021 09:20

Why are some places still blaming covid for crap service?

You know that COVID is still here and people are still dying from it?

Jesus, you sound very materialistic and all about the 'doing it for show' stuff. None of that matters if you have a healthy baby.

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