Ex’s DM contacted me

[ThisIsWeirdRight]

We were together throughout our 20s but split 4 years ago when he proposed but I realised how much we had changed and didn’t want to marry him.

About 6 months after we split he met someone else and though we had remained friends, out of respect for his new girlfriend (who was understandably insecure about our continued friendship) I decided to block all means of communication.

Recently I received a message on FB from his DM saying that they were getting married and that she thought I ought to know.

AIBU to think that that is weird and wonder what her agenda is? It’s been nearly 4 years with no contact with him or any of his family. She would have had to go to the trouble of looking me up on FB to find me and it won’t have been easy as I did a big clear out of fb friends a couple of years ago and am she and I have no friends in common.

Block and delete as it will drive her crazy because what is she going to do tell your ex and his fiancé that she messaged you and you haven’t replied

“I’m sorry, who is getting married?”

That should send a message!

What great news - though it hadn't occurred to me that we should notify each other when getting married, so my apologies. Marriage is wonderful. I wish him all the happiness I have. Please pass on my best wishes to them both

This is a great reply!

Don't reply, she just wants to rub your nose in it. This is what you could have had , kind of thing

I would just say ah thats lovely news x

Doesnt open up a chat or feed into the drama.

I'd reply, "That's lovely news! Please send them my congratulations, and I hope you all have a wonderful day."

Genuinely breezy and friendly.

It'll kill her. 😆

"Lovely news. Congratulations to them both", then just ignore any further communication.

I had an ex who travelled 2 hours and waited outside my office to tell that he had got married. Then couldn't understand why I didn't cry.

Ignore and block.
Don't feed the monkey.

Reply “Someone else’s trash is another’s treasure.”

This is great.

But, yes, ignore and block is probably the more mature response.

‘Lovely to hear he’s happy. Congrats to you all.’

Yeah I'd agree with others to keep it short. Even to just one word or emoji

Congratulations!

Or just

👍

That thumbs-up emoji suggestion made me laugh.

New number, who dis? Should suffice .

Don't send Who Dis. It is always stupid. Never funny.

"lovely" is all you need to say, if you want to reply with something. You don't even need to bother with punctuation,

[quote ThisIsWeirdRight]@Clocktopus

I think definitely not! She was raving about what a wonderful girl she is and how lucky ex was to have found her.

We did get on well when I was with ex but I never felt that close.

Should I even reply?[/quote]
I would, I'd just say "That's great, i wish them all the best for the future"

Grrrr! Well whatever the agenda ex’s DM had it ended up with me checking out ex and his bride to be. And she is absolutely gorgeous, successful and clearly besotted with him.

Now I’m feeling totally shit.

Who cares? You wouldn't want him, would you?

@ThisIsWeirdRight

Grrrr! Well whatever the agenda ex’s DM had it ended up with me checking out ex and his bride to be. And she is absolutely gorgeous, successful and clearly besotted with him.

Now I’m feeling totally shit.

You can't know anything from social media, it's 95% PR and filters.

Pity the poor girl, and thank your lucky stars you escaped what's in store for her.

@Sssloou

I would contact your ex to say that his DM has sent this unusual message to you and ask if he is concerned for her emotional well-being.

That just makes her sound jealous and like she has 'used' his DM messaging her as a reason to contact him. It's the worst thing she can do!

Who cares? You wouldn't want him, would you?

True. I just need to keep telling myself that I ended things because I realised that he is narcissistic, egocentric and very dull company. But as a pp said, one person’s rubbish is another’s treasure.

@GrandTheftWalrus

I sent my exH a message to let him know I was pregnant with my now DH.

Might sound weird but we were together for 16 years and had tried many times to have children and it never happened so I knew if he had got someone pregnant I would be upset so I was being nice to him.

But that's a different scenario, so I find the ex mil here a bit weird.

How on earth was that being nice to him?! Letting him know that your body clearly wasn't the reason you never conceived as you've conceived with someone else. That the issue was very obviously his sperm.... To suddenly interrupt his day with a BOMBSHELL like that, is a million miles from nice. Bloody hell! 😂

@Boredmotherofone

I thought the same but didn’t want to point it out!

[quote ThisIsWeirdRight]@Boredmotherofone

I thought the same but didn’t want to point it out![/quote]
Shocking, isn't it?!

"Hey, how you doing?
Guess what! You're NEVER going to be a biological father! I am however going to be a Mum!
Anyway, take care!
Yours sincerely,
Your ex"

Ps - Please send that one reply that implies you're already married!!!! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

We'd both had tests and we were told the problem was with me.

Hes also since had a child.