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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my DS is completely stuffed

472 replies

logincard · 18/08/2021 06:54

my DS has 5 grade 7s and 4 6's at GCSE.

he missed out on acceptance to his grammar school for A level ( by one point) and we now have no place for him to study A levels.

He had a conditional offer from another school. He has the grades, but I found out yesterday that he never actually accepted this offer ….

I have contacted every state and private school in the borough and close by and no one has a space, we have appealed a grade at his grammar school. (But I hold out little hope for that)

What can we do? He has. No space for A levels . And no one has to help us, he’s just on his own ….

OP posts:
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6
5zeds · 18/08/2021 08:09

Have you phoned the LA and asked them for a list of all the providers in the area or did you just phone the schools you knew about?

RedHelenB · 18/08/2021 08:11

Both of my kids sorted out accepting their sixth form college places themselves. Plus I think they had form time where they checked what they were doing post 16. There will be somewhere for him to do Al evels once term starts, kids hold multiple offers and they can only to to one of them!

Original poster
logincard · 18/08/2021 08:11

where we live, the colleges do not provide A level courses as all the schools have 6th forms.

Does anyone know who we ask for help ? Who is responsible for making sure all 16 year olds have a place in education / some kind of learning ? and does anyone know if the child gets a 'choice' about what they do ? i.e. could he be made to do a beautician course if that's the only thing with spaces ?

OP posts:
ThanksItHasPockets · 18/08/2021 08:13

OP, go back to his current school for help and tell them that he is at risk of NEET (not in education, employment or training).

BabyRace · 18/08/2021 08:13

Why can't he stay at his current school?

Original poster
logincard · 18/08/2021 08:14

@SoundBar

Hang on, you made a 16 year old responsible for accepting their own school offer? Why would you leave him on his own to work that out? Confused

I understand wanting to teach independence and life admin skills but surely a more hands on approach would have been the one to take?

I most certainly did not. The school wanted HIS email address. I saw the conditional offer with a button at the bottom 'accept / decline'. When I saw the letter sent to him I asked if he had accepted, He said yes,. I asked him at least 5 times if he was certain ( over the next two weeks) .... Obviously he was not certain / forgot (he says) couldn't be bothered I say ...

dont worry we all are super super suffering for that now .

OP posts:
Clymene · 18/08/2021 08:15

@BabyRace

Why can't he stay at his current school?
That is literally the OP. He didn't get high enough grades Confused
atleastitswarm · 18/08/2021 08:15

My DSIL left school at 16 and didn’t do anything. She’s 19 now and nobody ever contacted her ever. In theory no you can’t just leave school at 16 and do nothing but I think many, many kids fall through the cracks and they never chase it up at all.

I realise that doesn’t help you OP. How sad for your DS especially when he’s got such good results. Could you contact your local MP, depending on how useful they’ve been with other local issues? Mine is pretty good with things like this. Saying your son has got fab grades, really wants to go onto further study in an A Level format and eventually go onto university but lack of spaces is holding him back.

Clymene · 18/08/2021 08:16

I would ring the LEA and look at neighbouring boroughs. He may have to travel

Marmitemarinaded · 18/08/2021 08:17

I thought this thread was going to be a food one!

AlternativePerspective · 18/08/2021 08:17

Ok first things first, does he actually want to do a-levels/go to uni?

Because it sounds to me as if maybe he’s not that committed to an academic education at this stage in which case he does have other options.

It’s very easy as parents to have the expectation that our kids will go on to do a-levels and will then go on to university, but the truth that that path isn’t for everyone.

Does he know what he wants to do? Is it possible for him to get into an apprenticeship or a bTech rather than an a-level course?

if he isn’t committed to the a-levels then reality is he won’t necessarily do well at them.

My 18 year old decided halfway through his a-levels that he wanted to do something different, so he dropped out of a-levels and signed up for a bTech and is now doing a HNC, and it honestly is the best thing he could ever have done.

University really isn’t the be all and end all, and there are other options if he’d rather go down those routes.

But talk to him and see what he wants, rather than running around looking for a college to do a-levels he really doesn’t want.

5zeds · 18/08/2021 08:18

The careers service should signpost him to his next step. School can give you the number

hoxtonbabe · 18/08/2021 08:18

College may be the answer if the grammar school doesn’t pan out, as people have said, others will drop out and a space could open up.

My son was never going to get A level grades and he was not good with exams so when his grades came out he applied to college to do a btec as they weren’t enrolling until the end of August anyway and he had to resit maths.

Some 5/6 years on now he graduated from university (first class honours) in computer forensics in the the late summer last year and within 4 months landed his first job ever, within IT which considering was still peak pandemic, he did well

Depending on what your DS wants to do, he’s not stuffed, he has very good grades, he may just have to take a different route to get to where he needs to be.

KeyboardWorriers · 18/08/2021 08:19

Could he re sit? Quite a few of my friends re sat GCSEs and then started at a different sixth form a year later than us.

Or look into non a level options?

Peanutsandchilli · 18/08/2021 08:20

The council should have somebody that helps young people with school or college places so get in contact with them. If he's not in education or training, his name will be passed to them anyway, eventually. Realistically though, nothing will be done if he doesn't attend anywhere between 16 and 18, even though it's 'compulsory' (in England, anyway).

MojoMoon · 18/08/2021 08:20

Can you let us know what county you live in? That would help people in the know provide useful advice

isthisareverse · 18/08/2021 08:21

@Marmitemarinaded

I thought this thread was going to be a food one!
😂
Nousernameforme · 18/08/2021 08:21

Why can't he go to college to do them?

nodtik · 18/08/2021 08:22

Secondary Headteacher here, contact the local authority and ask to be put through to the admissions team for schools.

All areas have something called In Year Fair Access - apply for your preferred school and two other choices, it's goes to an panel and he should be placed.

Can I ask where in the country you are based?

anotherday235 · 18/08/2021 08:22

He has really good marks. Call his current school and explain he thought he had accepted. They'll probably let him back. If not call all other schools and colleges in area. He is going to get a place somewhere.

Original poster
logincard · 18/08/2021 08:23

@BabyRace

Why can't he stay at his current school?
he is one point off the required grades.

we are in England

OP posts:
CoastalSwimmer · 18/08/2021 08:23

Don't panic there's always a lot of movement in sixth form places for the first weeks of term as students change their mind about where they want to be.

walkingwoods · 18/08/2021 08:23

They are fantastic results and I'm amazed his school won't accept him, especially after the last year.

Are they allowed to do that? A local grammar school to us was legally challenged (and lost) regarding students not being accepted into second year of A levels, appreciate not exactly the same.

If you have any call local colleges even if they don't offer A levels. BTECs are used equally for uni places. Look at courses he may want to study (if that is the path he wants) and the entrance grades.

Call schools again, places will come up. Students move / change their minds.

Good luck.

Original poster
logincard · 18/08/2021 08:24

@nodtik

Secondary Headteacher here, contact the local authority and ask to be put through to the admissions team for schools.

All areas have something called In Year Fair Access - apply for your preferred school and two other choices, it's goes to an panel and he should be placed.

Can I ask where in the country you are based?

@nodtik that's so helpful. Thank you. We are in SW London. I will do that todau
OP posts:
AChickenCalledDaal · 18/08/2021 08:24

I've no idea why people are assuming the lad is not committed to A levels. He got amazing grades. He probably thought it was a dead cert that he'd stay at his current school. He's 16 (or maybe even 15) and forgot to press a button on an email.

People that are in areas with 11-16 schools may be unaware just how little support students get in areas where school sixth forms are the norm. My daughter is in year 11 and the support consisted of "we'd be dead chuffed if you all to stay on for sixth form". There was no information whatsoever about other options, open days, application dates, offer arrangements etc.

OP I just wanted to let you know I entirely understand how this can arise and I really hope you can get it resolved soon. I suspect the answer is that it will all fall into place in Sept when people start turning down multiple offers. But it must be enormously stressful in the meantime, when schools aren't open for business and you can't even get a conversation going.

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