Is DS’ diet really that bad?

[enuquer]

Please be kind.

DS is 2, will be 3 at the end of the year. His daily diet is usually

Breakfast: weetabix or rice krispies/corn flakes

Morning snack: an orange or a yoghurt

Lunch: Ham sandwich with an orange or yoghurt (whatever he doesn't have for snack) and some wotsits or quavers

Afternoon snack: 2 biscuits or a small packet of chocolate buttons

Dinner: pasta/pizza/ sausage and mash with carrots/fish fingers/chicken nuggets/ the occasional McDonald's happy meal (probably once or twice a month)

Dessert: ice cream or a small chocolate bar

Then he sometimes has chips if me and DP have had a takeaway, and he isn't asleep yet.

The only fruit and veg he'll eat are oranges and carrots. During the day he does drink water or apple juice and has a bottle of milk before bed.

We recently stayed at my mum's as my mum said that he shouldn't be eating those foods and his diet is awful.

Is it really that bad?

Christ, it's not ideal (but I've yet to meet a toddler who will eat an ideal menu every day! DD isn't picky but even she has her days ) but as usual on a MN food thread, some people are way OTT

He's got some fruit and dairy in there and protein; it's a relatively easy fix - maybe some more veg to serve at dinner. The steamfresh bags of carrots, peas and sweet corn are super easy to just blast in microwave and serve alongside some fishfingers. And just a bit less chocolate and biscuits for snacks and think about substituting some healthier stuff gradually.

Also DD is 2.5 and has had more than one Happy Meal in her puff (but I nick most of her chips )

@CallMeRisley
@Moonbabysmum

Do you call biscuit/cake a “naughty snack” to your kids?

Referring to biscuits / cake as a "naughty snack" is unhelpful

And so is referring to them as "treat"

It's OK to have these in moderation, but unhelpful to introduce feelings of guilt around food, or to imply that the horrible veg must be tolerated to get to the reward of the lovely cake

This book explains it far better than I can

www.amazon.co.uk/Food-Our-Children-Eat-Like/dp/1841154776?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

@Needapoodle

Ditch the wotsits and quavers. Try Pom bears if he wants a crunchy thing

What makes you think pom bears are any better nutritionally than quavers or wotsits?

Slightly less salt. No weird flavourings. Potato not maize. Smaller packets. I didn't say they are healthy, just a bit better. Also less grim orange dust or nasty smell.

It depends whether that's all he will eat or that's all you're offering him.

Someone on here said once (and I though this was a very helpful point) that as a parent you can't make your child eat healthy foods, all you can do is offer them a range of healthy foods and then it's up to them. Sort of "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink".

Your job as a parent is to put a range of healthy foods in front of your child and encourage them to try them. So you should be offering your child 5-7 portions of different fruits and vegetables a day, a range of healthy proteins, complex carbohydrates etc. And exposing them to different food types.

If all you put in front of your child is junk or ultra processed food (and tbh most of your list falls into those two categories), then you're not even giving them the chance to eat healthily. If on the other hand, you serve a ham sandwich as a 'safe food' alongside a tuna sandwich and carrot, pepper and celery sticks, then you're giving them a chance to try new things and eventually, if you persevere, it might pay off.

Yes, it's pretty bad. I would get rid of the daily crisps, chocolate, biscuits, ice cream. Occasionally these things would be fine (maybe 1-3 times per week total, not 1-3 times for each item), but a steady diet of them every day is not great for anyone. Certainly not ideal for a 2-year-old.

There is a difference between a limited diet and an unhealthy one. Many toddlers go through phases of refusing foods they previously loved and sticking to a few favourites. That's really O.K. as long as those items provide decent nutrition and a relatively balanced diet over the course of a week. So a hypothetical child who only wanted yogurt, cheese sandwiches, apples, and carrots would be fine. The parents might think such a diet a pain in the neck and boring as hell, but as a phase it wouldn't hurt the child at all. Continuing to offer other options, getting the child involved in the cooking process, etc. would hopefully allow them to expand their diet (though it may result in a new phase, with the child now rejecting everything they previously adored, but that's life with a toddler).

Your DS' diet sounds genuinely unhealthy. Fortunately, at his age you hold all the cards and habits can be altered. Your DP really needs to be on board, though.

Yes it is pretty awful. Your DP isn’t helping things either..better stop before you do serious damage

What makes you think pom bears are any better nutritionally than quavers or wotsits?

Having googled the ingredients of PB versus wotsits, I’d argue PB are slightly better

Ditch the biscuits/chocolate/ice cream/yoghurts right away, then for the rest start making small changes, one meal at a time. Eggs and wholewheat toast for breakfast - there is no point to serving Cornflakes or Rice Krispies. Try cauliflower cheese-type dishes to encourage more veg.

Your toddler's diet is high in sugar and salt right now, but I don't think it will be too hard to tweak, a little at a time.

It's pretty awful.

I never quite get the love for pesto for kids on MN, it's very salty. I prefer to make tomato sauce for pasta, by just reducing down a tin of tomatoes.

Some kids do go through phases where they refuse to eat much that counts as healthy.

I have a friend who is an amazing cook, but 2 of her DC are absolute food refusers, one has ARFID (Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder www.eatingdisorders.org.au/eating-disorders-a-z/arfid/).
The other one went into a "beige food only" phase at about 2 or 3 but grew out of it a couple of years later.
There are spectrum conditions within the family although not fully diagnosed.

Your son's diet is obviously lacking in several nutrients and is too high in processed foods, salt and sugar.

Things I would try - take out the ham and replace it with a non-processed meat or cheese, or fish (since he'll eat fishfingers, he's obviously not fish averse).
Make sure the sausages are decent meat ones, not the highly processed ones.
Try him on roast chicken instead of nuggets (less salt).
Get rid of the Wotsits/Quavers entirely. Much though I personally love these, they're not age appropriate for him. Switch to a less processed snack - rice crackers or something.

Re. your cooked meals, like spag bol, shepherd's pie etc. - do you dice the veg really finely so he can't see them? My boys both detest the "sliminess" of both cooked onion and cooked mushroom, but I have various contraptions that mince these down so finely that they "disappear" into the mince and can't be seen. I also put courgettes in, in the same way. The only veg that can be seen in my mince dishes is the carrots.

The chocolate after dinner has to stop as well. Maybe ice cream once a week, but not every day.

Apple juice needs to be diluted and should only be given with meals.
Does he not drink milk still? Would he?

One big thing though is to NOT turn this into a powerplay. Just offer the foods you would prefer him to eat, and leave him to eat them, or not. I wouldn't be offering him junkfood alternatives though - that just sets him up in the knowledge that he can get exactly what he wants by refusing to eat the good foods.

It’s not very good, sorry, if I had to make a suggestion what changes to make I’d try porridge some mornings instead of cereal.
Change fish fingers to oven baked fish fillet and keep trying on veg, just put some on the table or your plate every day and he might get curious at some point.

The daytime stuff isn’t too bad. The evening meal is too many ‘beige’ foods. Maybe try to vary his evening meal - so ag Bol, shepherds pie, veg etc to increase his food repertoire.

@JassyRadlett I also have a phobic food refuser who will starve rather than eat non safe foods. And keeps dropping things off the safe list.

Any tips? So far I'm just trying my best to hit most food groups during the day at some point if I can and not make it too much of a thing.

His diet sounded fine until I read about his dinner. It’s okay to have pizza, chicken nuggets and Happy Meals occasionally, but not everyday. He could do with some more vegetables, but his breakfast, lunch and snacks sound okay.

[quote Rivermonsters]@randomchap people like you are the reason why this country has an obesity problem you won’t be saying that when your child kicks the bucket because of poor diet choices[/quote]
Sorry, did you just wish that someone's child would die to prove your point? That is shameful.

@HaveringWavering you missed my point. I never wished so and so’s child would die, just saying don’t feed your kids crap when they’d moan about the outcome of the poor diet

@CutePanda

His diet sounded fine until I read about his dinner. It’s okay to have pizza, chicken nuggets and Happy Meals occasionally, but not everyday. He could do with some more vegetables, but his breakfast, lunch and snacks sound okay.

Actually, just to add, it’s fine to have a little pack of crisps or a couple of biscuits a day, but not when you’re having crisps AND chocolate biscuits AND chocolate AND ice cream in the same day. Maybe you could increase his breakfast so it’s more satisfying and filling and he won’t have to snack on chocolate?

Does he go to nursery or anything? Many kids eat better around their peers?

Otherwise you need to get your DP on board here, it seems your DS is copying and he’s allowing it. It’s a pretty crap diet and I’m really laid back but he’s probably too young to reason with eg mine have to ‘try’ everything on their plate but then they are allowed to leave one thing if they really don’t like. I always serve minimum 2 veg so they need to choose one to eat.

Have never understood why children all over the world eat vegetables of every kind, but apparently British children can't. I am sorry, but that is a pretty bad diet and am baffled by posters saying it is ok.

@enuquer

Yes, I offer him other fruit and veg but he refuses to eat it. I also offer him what I cook for dinner but he won't eat it and cries and DP then gives him a slice of pizza if he has different to me. He doesn't have any sauce on his pasta as he won't eat it if it does.

I eat different fruits and vegetables so DS does see me eating them but DP will only eat a few different vegetables and no fruit.

Your DP either needs to eat the same meals as you and DS or he never eats in front of your DS. You need to be good role models. Don’t let him only eat junk food, but also don’t promote disordered eating behaviours like being obsessed with calories, fat, never eating chocolate etc. There’s a balance.

Of course he’s stopped eating all the other stuff, your husband has shown him there’s a choice 🤷‍♀️

I think there can be a difference depending on the type of ham, bread, yoghurt - some of these are hyper processed.

I would say a small bag of buttons every day is a lot personally but I can't judge as my son's diet is awful, he is ASC so lots of issues for us.

[quote RedMarauder]@CallMeRisley it's just food.

Call it by it's name e.g. sweets, chocolate, cake, whatever, or by when you eat it e.g. desert, pudding, snack.

If you start calling things "treats" it means it is a special food and you don't want your child to name food as good or bad.[/quote]
Thank you