Is DS’ diet really that bad?

[enuquer]

Please be kind.

DS is 2, will be 3 at the end of the year. His daily diet is usually

Breakfast: weetabix or rice krispies/corn flakes

Morning snack: an orange or a yoghurt

Lunch: Ham sandwich with an orange or yoghurt (whatever he doesn't have for snack) and some wotsits or quavers

Afternoon snack: 2 biscuits or a small packet of chocolate buttons

Dinner: pasta/pizza/ sausage and mash with carrots/fish fingers/chicken nuggets/ the occasional McDonald's happy meal (probably once or twice a month)

Dessert: ice cream or a small chocolate bar

Then he sometimes has chips if me and DP have had a takeaway, and he isn't asleep yet.

The only fruit and veg he'll eat are oranges and carrots. During the day he does drink water or apple juice and has a bottle of milk before bed.

We recently stayed at my mum's as my mum said that he shouldn't be eating those foods and his diet is awful.

Is it really that bad?

Just tbf anyone who has a 2yo is by definition a young mother, especially compared to an old gimmer such as myself!

I otoh am an old mother with old children!

@enuquer

Please be kind.

DS is 2, will be 3 at the end of the year. His daily diet is usually

Breakfast: weetabix or rice krispies/corn flakes

Morning snack: an orange or a yoghurt

Lunch: Ham sandwich with an orange or yoghurt (whatever he doesn't have for snack) and some wotsits or quavers

Afternoon snack: 2 biscuits or a small packet of chocolate buttons

Dinner: pasta/pizza/ sausage and mash with carrots/fish fingers/chicken nuggets/ the occasional McDonald's happy meal (probably once or twice a month)

Dessert: ice cream or a small chocolate bar

Then he sometimes has chips if me and DP have had a takeaway, and he isn't asleep yet.

The only fruit and veg he'll eat are oranges and carrots. During the day he does drink water or apple juice and has a bottle of milk before bed.

We recently stayed at my mum's as my mum said that he shouldn't be eating those foods and his diet is awful.

Is it really that bad?

Do you really give him 2 biscuits / chocolate buttons AND a full size chocolate bar / icecream every day? He’s only 2! Those things should be treats when he’s older; not part of his daily diet!

My son is nearly 2. This is what he eats at home. He has meat and fish 3 x a week at nursery and so we don’t offer it regularly at home.

Breakfast: weetabix (1-1.5 in a cup of whole milk) or porridge (3 heaped tbps of porridge cooked in a cup of wholemilk), half a banana, blueberries. A Sunday treat might be a quarter of a slice of wholemeal toast with a thin scraping of nutella (1/4 tsp); but it would be after he eats everything else.

Snack - as much carrots / cucumber / fruit as he wants. Three times a week I’ll offer him hummous with it. On a Saturday or Sunday when we’re at grandparents he might be given a quarter of a cup of deep fried Indian ‘noodles’ but it’s not an expectation & is dependant on how well he ate his breakfast.

Lunch - whatever we have leftover from dinner the previous day. It’s usually a variation of veg / lentil soup or curry with either rice or a single wholemeal bread (eg roti or single slice of bread). He always gets some berries and plain greek yoghurt on the side but doesn’t always eat it.

Mid afternoon snack - Same variation as above. On a Saturday or Sunday when we visit grandparents he may get a Mr Whippy. He will happily eat the whole thing so he doesn’t get it more than once a week; and not at all if we feel he hasn’t eaten his meals well.

Dinner - Depending on what he has for lunch it might be veg soup / curry / toast / roti or something else like lasagna or pasta. Offered with sliced boiled egg, fruit and plain greek yoghurt on the side.

Chocolates, crisps, biscuits, cakes and other high calorie foods are offered only on an occasional basis. ie we are going to an event where it is being served. They aren’t banned but I won’t actively offer them to him unless he asks for them and once they’re gone they’re gone. I don’t keep them in the house.

but it would be after he eats everything else.
& is dependant on how well he ate his breakfast.
and not at all if we feel he hasn’t eaten his meals well.

This is a great way to give your kid food issues, even if you think he's eating healthy food. It kills their own self-regulation and gives "treat" foods an elevated status which can lead to them being more desirable.

How about swapping the wotsits, chocolate and biscuits for healthier toddler versions from the baby food aisle?

There's really no need for anyone to be eating a dessert everyday, never mind a 2yo! That's a terrible habit to be teaching him!

My 2yo isn't particularly fussy but when she's having fussy days it helps if I get her involved with the cooking. She'll happily try anything if she got to squidge it and stir it and watch it cook first.

The tickle toddlers cookbook is excellent for simple, toddler friendly recipes that they can get involved in if you want to give it a go. It might help expand the foods he'll eat and then you can make healthier choices more easily.

I let my 2yo have biscuits, chocolate and cake but usually if we've made it together or just randomly, not every day. Maybe 2-3 portions a week. I don't want it to become an issue later if it's banned. I also tend to serve it alongside the savoury stuff and she can pick and choose what she eats, it's surprising the amount of times she'll have a bite of biscuit, a bit of broccoli, some fish, another bite of biscuit etc.

@Pigeonpocket

but it would be after he eats everything else. & is dependant on how well he ate his breakfast. and not at all if we feel he hasn’t eaten his meals well.

This is a great way to give your kid food issues, even if you think he's eating healthy food. It kills their own self-regulation and gives "treat" foods an elevated status which can lead to them being more desirable.

With all due respect this is crap. I feed my DS Asian / Indian style with lots of different types of food together that I know he enjoys; so he gets to pick what he wants to eat from the plate. If he hasn’t eaten that and then expects to eat a deep fried snack later it isn’t happening. He gets offered the same type of food he rejected earlier - and generally on the second offering he eats it.

These are two year old babies we’re talking about. Not older kids with food aversions. Parents need to practice a bit of common sense. That means not filling them on full sized bar of chocolate or ice creams everyday.

There was a news item on the radio this morning stating that some children's yoghurts are the sugar equivalent of 16 biscuits

[quote Goldbar]@Redruby2020. You're absolutely right on both counts.

First, food habits start in childhood. It's very hard for an overweight child to then become a healthy weight as an adult. It's doable but it's an extra challenge in life which young adults can do without.

Second, it's tough, time-consuming and expensive to try to ensure your kids eat well (or at least are offered varied, healthy food), especially if you're on your own and work long hours. But healthy food habits are one of the best gifts you can give them. I also wish my parents had tried harder.[/quote]
Thank you ☺️ I knew someone would understand. Well I believe these days, if it were reported or you happened to have SS involved with your family for whatever reason, a child who is quite overweight, it could be noted down as neglect.
I know certainly from working with teeth in the past, that if a child's oral care is really bad, that could also be noted and reported.
One thing with me, yes I've always been big, and eaten the wrong things, but my diet has been such at times, that my teeth have been good, because it's the type of things you eat and the type of sugar. Say for example someone who sucks or chews on sweets all the time, it's not the same as someone who eats chocolate, of course neither are good, but just differences in the effect on teeth.
I do not get why people give their kids all these sweets, gone in numerous shops and someone has handed DS a lollipop, I just say no Thankyou. I think from memory the only time he did have one with me and of course never even actually had it properly was at the barbers lol. And that was a temporary measure!

[quote Camomila]@Redruby2020 I agree it's tough when you get in after 6. My top speedy tip is to put vegetables directly in pasta water when its cooking (peas, brocolli, and sweetcorn work well) and to stick raw salad veg like carrots or peppers on the side of any beige oven food (My 5 year old eats it all, my 19m old occasionally licks a bit but at least I figure he's getting used to the idea of it).[/quote]
Thankyou! Good idea!

Breakfast and lunch are fine. I would get rid of dessert and give him a bigger dinner so he’s full.

It does sound a bit like a pub menu for dinner. There are loads of other sandwich fillings or options for lunch apart from ham and the fruit and yoghurt could be at breakfast with some toast or lower sugar cereal?

Raw salad veg is usually what I give my kids to eat at snack and with a lot of meals because it seems to be more attractive to them than hot veg.

I would maybe start looking at creating your own versions of the things your 2 toddlers do like, if it’s all homemade then your large toddler DP should join in and try it

@ODPO

And raisens!! Don't know how I forgot those

Raisins are absolutely horrific for teeth. Far more damaging than anything on OP's child's menu!!!

@Moonbabysmum

Its not great...

There'll be a lot of people on here that day they never feed their toddlers sugar or they'll have chocolate once a month or something. And good for them. I'm not one of those. My kids eat crisps, and chocolate and chips. But even i think your toddlers diet is a bit rubbish.

We are usyaloy something like:

Breakfast: big bowl of porridge, with some strawberries after.

Snack: fruit - banana or apple often.

Lunch - hummus with breadsticks, cucumber and pepper. Square of cheese, some crisps and a yoghurt for pudding.

Snack - biscuit/cake/naughty snack.

Dinner: varies, but a mix of things like pesto pasta with sweetcorn, pea risotto, sausages and mash with carrots and peas, chicken curry with some sweet potato, carrots and peas thrown in. Sometimes we have fish fingers or pizza, but always some form of veg either on the side or on it, or a corn on the cob in the side. Sometimes there's pudding, sometimes not (depending on what they've eaten for the rest of the day). It might be something like a fruit crumble, or a biscuit, or straight piece of fruit.

Your child needs a more substantial/carb rich lunch. Their current is nowhere near filling enough

@Popcornbetty

My dc are almost 2 and 4 so can be fussy! I do my bestto incorporate as much veg as possible into their meals.

Typical breakfasts
porridge with honey,
weetabix and fruit,
cheerios, toast&peanut butter & fruit/yoghurt,
Buttered toast & scrambled eggs
Buttered toast & poached eggs with beans/tomatoes
Homemade greek yoghurt pancakes with maple syrup & strawberries

Typical lunches
Cheese sandwiches
Nibble platter thing with crackers with cheese and cheese chunks, fruit & yoghurt
Beans and cheese on toast
Jacket pots with beans/cheese/non spicy chilli etc
Any leftovers like lasagne etc
Homemade pizza or pizza muffins (veg is hidden in the sauce)
Cheesy omelette and beans

Typical dinners (i pack loads of veg into the italian sauces and bakes i make and tend to batch cook)

Chicken kiev/crispy fish and homemade pot veg bake
Homemade Spag bol with brown/white spaghetti and cheese
Homemade chilli without the hot chillis with sweet pot chips or homemade wedges
Homemade italian Med chicken pasta penne
Sausages, Homemade wedges & Homemade broc cauli cheese and carrots.
Pasta carbonara
Spinach & ricotta ravioli with a Homemade italian sauce i have avail at time
Caramelised onion sausage casserole with Homemade yorkshires
Thai chicken yellow or red curry (only the little one will eat this as 4 yr old hates curry).

Desserts:
I bake alot so can be homemade cookie/cupcake/brownie/pudding and icecream/custard/cream
Or just a simple Greek yoghurt and fruit
Mini trifle
Meringue and fruit/ cream
Or no dessert at all depending on what they've had but they usally have at least fruit/yoghurt

Snacks as and when needed (usually 1-2 a day of the following):
Bananas
Berries
Yoghurt drinks
Yoghurts
Fruit smoothies
Mini biscuits/cookies
Malt loaf and butter
Scotch pancake and butter
Homemade banana bread
Date scone
Homemade oat choc chip cookie
Mini bag of choc buttons/little chocolate treat

C'mon...... This isn't a competition

@enuquer

Just to add, he would eat anything this time last year!

For example for breakfast he'd have porridge, lunch, sandwich or anything else I gave him dinner, anything I gave him really!

He’d also eat plenty of fruit and vegetables, and he'd have healthy snacks, he didn't eat crisps or chocolate or McDonald's or anything like that, he just started refusing whatever I cooked for him and then DP would give him some of his food then it became a habit for DS to refuse.

This is exactly how it was for my daughter. Now she eats the same beige food every single bloody day :( She has a diagnosis of ASD which doesn't help BUT that's not necessarily the case with your DS. My nephew only ate mashed potato & yogurts for years growing up, despite us all trying so so hard and doing everything right. Then suddenly it clicked and everything changed! Now he's 21, 6'4 tall and eats anything he find! No known health issues

Please ignore the veiled digs on here. You've definitely asked on the wrong forum!! Feel free to PM me if you'd like to chat. I know alllllll about the heartbreak every time you hand them the junk food!

@Ozanj I mean, it's what most childhood nutritionists and dietitians recommend these days. You decide what the child eats, they decide how much of it they'll eat. No food is 'bad' or put on a pedestal and reserved for treats or good behaviour. Dessert shouldn't be contingent on finishing dinner. Etc.

@NigellaSeed

I think your confusing what is a snack and what is a treat tbh.

And alot of his meals sound like they're from the freezer section.

I'm not judging. But you did ask so I would say yes, it could be alot healthier.

Veg, fruit, protein, carbs, dairy, fat. Water and milk. That kinda thing

And alot of his meals sound like they're from the freezer section.........I'm not judging

Well, yes you are! You have no idea whether the pizza/pasta/mash/sausages etc is homemade or frozen. Besides, much of the frozen food out there is extremely healthy and in fact, most frozen veg is far more nutritious than the so called fresh stuff that's been sat wilting on a Sainsburys wagon and under supermarket lights for days on end! Veg loses nutrients with every second since picking. Birds Eye freeze their vegetables within 2 hours of being picked! Much of it is far more nutritious & fresh that even what you'd find at a farmer's market or a Greengrocer's! Don't be such a snob!

@Bryonyshcmyony

Mine didn't have sugar at all apart from a bit of fruit until they started going to other people's houses! They are slim and fit now and three of them eat a very wide range of foods. I only eat sugar very rarely so that's why

@PlanDeRaccordement

Chocolate and ice cream EVERY DAY? Processed junk food EVERY DAY?

Sorry but your mum is right. His diet is really poor.

There is nothing wrong with a small amount of chocolate every day - especially if it encourages fussy/difficult eaters to actually eat their meal.

It is very evident which parents on here have never had a child with eating issues

People seem to have a real misunderstanding about food poverty and deprivation in the UK. It’s not that people don’t have the money to cook healthy food, we all know batch cooking cottage pie is pretty cheap. It’s that people don’t have the knowledge of how to prepare the food or an understanding of nutrition.

I’d also add that if you haven’t had a child with restrictive eating habits it’s incredibly easy to judge. My daughter has been fed a diet of 100% organic finger foods until she was one, literally nothing wasn’t organic, no sugar etc… apart from she would rarely eat whatever we tried. Our dietician now has her eating custard, semolina or rice pudding at least one day to try and make up her calories. I’m fully aware it isn’t ‘healthy’ but she needs to grow. Sometimes you can feel absolutely desperate to get them to eat anything, it sounds like OP has experienced this.

@scrapITupAndSTARTagain1 that’s incredibly dangerous advice, children will starve themselves if they have restrictive eating disorders.

@Boredmotherofone oh no i honestly didn't mean for it to come acrosa like that and was just listing examples of what they eat so sorry i can see it was alittle too many examples and if anything some of my examples aren't the healthiest so i wouldn't win any competition at all!

@Suprima

I think the meals itself are fine- but I don’t understand why a 3 year old needs to eat biscuits/ice cream/chocolate everyday…

Absolutely agree

And my 4 year old is really fussy and has to eat some foods in certain forms or textures and it has taken ages and lots of experimenting to get to the place we're at now.

The days starts fine and then it goes rapidly downhill after lunchtime.

Your partner is the problem. Without him on board you simply cannot fix this. If my partner was sabotaging any effort to bring up our child in a vaguely healthy way, potentially setting him up for a lifetime of health issues, I would honestly leave him. At least then you can parent in a responsible way while you have your son.

Your partner is behaving disgracefully and it would seriously affect how I felt about him, in your shoes.