Is DS’ diet really that bad?

[enuquer]

Please be kind.

DS is 2, will be 3 at the end of the year. His daily diet is usually

Breakfast: weetabix or rice krispies/corn flakes

Morning snack: an orange or a yoghurt

Lunch: Ham sandwich with an orange or yoghurt (whatever he doesn't have for snack) and some wotsits or quavers

Afternoon snack: 2 biscuits or a small packet of chocolate buttons

Dinner: pasta/pizza/ sausage and mash with carrots/fish fingers/chicken nuggets/ the occasional McDonald's happy meal (probably once or twice a month)

Dessert: ice cream or a small chocolate bar

Then he sometimes has chips if me and DP have had a takeaway, and he isn't asleep yet.

The only fruit and veg he'll eat are oranges and carrots. During the day he does drink water or apple juice and has a bottle of milk before bed.

We recently stayed at my mum's as my mum said that he shouldn't be eating those foods and his diet is awful.

Is it really that bad?

@Imapotato

Many toddlers have eaten this sort of diet and gone on to lead normal healthy lives.

Of course it could be better, but it could also be much worse.

On mumsnet nearly all toddlers love humus, quinoa, and love anything with 10+ veggies included. In the real world it’s not really the case. I would maybe keep putting different fruit and veg on his plate so he has the chance to try it if he wishes, but I would it get too hung up on his diet, it’s essentially ok.

This

I wouldn't stress about it. You can hide veg now but they will be able to spot it when older and refuse. If they are going to refuse veg, you can try but ultimately unless you want dinner time to be a power struggle, you can wait till their palates mature. Dh and I model eating vegetables and fruits to our teenagers. It gets worse and then it gets better.

They are slim dcs, so I guess it is easy for me to say.

It’s similar to what mine eat. They also had an eat anything stage and then got fussy. They will eat: apples, pears, cucumber, sweet corn, banana, pepppers. Things cut into small pieces usually go down well and those aren’t too costly so I feel not too bad if they leave them. Keep offering the fruit and veg, they will eat it more if it’s at the start of the meal.

Also I find now I am giving them more protein for breakfast (yoghurt rather than cereal) they often don't need snacks.

I have huge sympathy with you, OP. My advice would be to start as you mean to go on and make sure your DH isn't undermining you, but having had an eldest who was a total food refuser (he would literally starve himself rather than eat a food he didn't consider safe; the safe list was at times incredibly limited) I know how hard it is sometimes to get calories into them.

However your DS's palate looks varied enough that you don't need to resort to the 'calories at any cost' approach. Things like chocolate/wotsits/quavers are doing you (and him) no favours in terms of him being open to broadening his palate. Look for switches - breadsticks instead of quavers, and then you can just start to leave some hummus/other dips lying about and see if he tries them).

Afternoon snack - carrot sticks, not empty sugars. Hungry again? Another orange or another lot of carrot sticks. Chuck some bits of cheese on the plate occasionally to see if he'll give it a go. Try presenting previously rejected fruits in ways he doesn't recognise. Cut up a bloody strawberry in the same way as you'd cut up an orange and call it a 'special red orange'.

A lot of people on this thread will have focused on the processed/frozen foods for dinner and while I agree it's not ideal I don't think you can fix it overnight. I would however buy the highest quality versions you can afford - the difference between a chicken piece where it's actual chicken breast versus reconstituted chicken, ditto fish fingers where the fish inside actually flakes off, etc. I still do use convenience foods sometimes but I try to be really choosy about it (and I notice it when I have to fall back on a lower quality version, and so do my kids!)

You can't underestimate how many times you will have to put something new in front of him and how many times you will eat it yourself before he finally picks it up. Sometimes you'll give in first. I sent a sacrificial apple to school every day for three years (and then ate a bruised apple in the evening) before he finally, randomly ate it one day. He now eats an apple and a banana as part of his packed lunch every day. Things change, but they take time.

My food phobic has worked incredibly hard on his diet over the years and we have gone from him eating a bloody chip being a total breakthrough to him adoring olives, eating a fair range of fruit and veg even if he doesn't particularly like them, being willing to try new kinds of food. Still won't bloody touch cheese but I'll live with that. It's a hard road but with perseverance you'll get there but you need to give him space for his palate to develop - if it's trained to sweet treats multiple times a day, it won't get a chance.

It's a good point that our taste buds get used to certain food, like sugar and processed food.

If you never eat processed food then do, you can taste immediately how sugary and salty they are, but you don't recognise it if you eat them regularly.

I would agree with ditch the crisps and sugary snacks on a daily basis, and substitute with rice cakes, crackers, home-made juice ice lollies etc.

Also, just my prejudice, but Happy Meals are rubbish food designed to get kids hooked on McD's.

I honestly wouldn't give a child one of these.

I'm not going to judge you op. My sons diet was much worse than this at that age, not great now tbf. Your sons diet isn't the best but isn't the worst either. Lacking fruit and veg but I can sympathise - my oldest won't eat any of it. At least he eats oranges and carrots? Try and encourage that as much as poss. A lot of people saying to stop the crisps and chocolates - I wouldn't say totally stop it, just reduce it. Treats are fine in moderation.

Hmm it’s not great.

I’m the first to say there’s a lot of nonsense spouted on here about kids diets, and it really doesn’t have to be all kale and quinoa, no matter what anyone says.

However wotsits/quavers and chocolate or ice cream daily isn’t great, and surely that isn’t news to you.

And the evening meals could be less freezer focused. What about things like like shepherds pie, lasagne, plain chicken breasts, salmon, mild curries or stews, with veg on the side? Nothing crazy, but simple nutritious food.

Maybe tackle the snacks first and then try to up the quality of the evening meal.

My DS (2) loves fruit but won’t eat any veg (knowingly). If I go to the effort of making home made baked beans or pasta sauce with veg blended in he’ll eat it but often he lives off cereal, yoghurt, fruit, rice cakes, cheese, ham and white carbs like rice/pasta. Weirdly he eats well at nursery but won’t touch a single carrot/piece of broccoli at home.

I feel a bit guilty but he’s full of energy and happy so 🤷🏼‍♀️

In your shoes I’d swap the sugary snacks for cheese or breadsticks and give him sugar free jelly or a mini milk instead of sugary desserts. But he’ll be fine- it’s not the end of the world

I think you should focus on the evening meal to try and make your first change. It's your DP that's the problem because he wants to eat what he's eating.

Will your DP get on-board as a family to eat a more nutritious evening meal. Tell your DP that he is your ds' role model so he needs to lead by example. He can eat crap if he's still hungry and after little one has gone to bed?

@Moonbabysmum

Do you call biscuit/cake a “naughty snack” to your kids?

I don't know whether to laugh or roll my eyes.

Obviously I make them dress up in little convict outfits and we role play being in jail whilst eating our illicit goodies 🙄

That's sarcasm. Obviously. No, its a biscuit or a cupcake, or leftovers from their easter egg, or a lolly on a hot day.

Eh? You don’t need to either laugh or roll your eyes? Sorry, I’ve only just seen this reply as you didn’t tag me. I don’t know what the dressing up in convict outfits is all about. You used the term “naughty snack” in your post so I was just asking! I often wonder about language surrounding food/puddings/treats/snacks etc. I currently use “treat” with my 7yo DD but I’m not sure if it’s the right thing to say or not! We’ve even started saying “treat bowl” which is the mixing bowl on the table that seems to contain all the bits and pieces like stuff from birthday parties, Halloween/Easter/Christmas, stuff grandparents bring over. It’s such a minefield getting it right with snacks/chocolate, children’s feelings towards them and the language we use. I was just curious.

Lol at all children eating quinoa. DD would sooner fish for piranhas with her bare hands. She also calls olives “evil grapes”. She tried lime & sea salt chocolate this afternoon - nope. But she’s happy to try stuff now. We do get her to try “unhealthy” stuff in addition to all the healthy food, from time to time.

I’d recommend having a look at Solid Starts fussy eaters reel on Instagram.

So you serve whatever you are having for dinner with at least one or two safe things your son will eat, so your meal but with a chicken nugget for example. If they don’t want to eat anything that’s fine but you don’t get up and give them alternatives beyond what’s on the plate. I’ve found it very useful with my daughter

Apart from the pudding and dessert I think the rest sounds fine. (I'm assuming that the yoghurt isn't something like a petit filous which is very high in sugar btw. )

It's a tough age when it comes to food. Hopefully he will gradually eat more variety.

@enuquer

Please be kind.

DS is 2, will be 3 at the end of the year. His daily diet is usually

Breakfast: weetabix or rice krispies/corn flakes

Morning snack: an orange or a yoghurt

Lunch: Ham sandwich with an orange or yoghurt (whatever he doesn't have for snack) and some wotsits or quavers

Afternoon snack: 2 biscuits or a small packet of chocolate buttons

Dinner: pasta/pizza/ sausage and mash with carrots/fish fingers/chicken nuggets/ the occasional McDonald's happy meal (probably once or twice a month)

Dessert: ice cream or a small chocolate bar

Then he sometimes has chips if me and DP have had a takeaway, and he isn't asleep yet.

The only fruit and veg he'll eat are oranges and carrots. During the day he does drink water or apple juice and has a bottle of milk before bed.

We recently stayed at my mum's as my mum said that he shouldn't be eating those foods and his diet is awful.

Is it really that bad?

Baffled you have to ask. Is this a reverse? It's the kind of things dodgy TV channels put shows on about.

Sugary cereals, sugary yoghurts (can barely be called yoghurt; sugar-filled guar gum aimed at children is trash), orange puff crisps devoid of any nutrition, biscuits and chocolate, "kid" food like chicken nuggets and then more chocolate. Juice or milk before bed to rot the teeth.

Would you like to live on that? Can't the kid have a single decent meal? He gets to eat an adults' chips 'from the takeaway'?

Are you describing a neighbour or friend you don't like? This doesn't seem believable.

Prepare a fresh meal and serve it to adults and children. Don't faff about with "liking", just let him explore it. He'll eat some of it and develop a proper palate. Don't be surprised if he's bowled over by tasting flavour for the first time.

Yes, your mum is right and that isn't great, sorry.

According to guidance he should be eating:

• minimum 5 x fruit and veg
• no recommended amount of sugar for that age but for 4-6 years is 19g max, so no more than that and less is better
• 2g max salt
• avoid UPFs

I agree with others - you need to either get your DP on board with eating properly or get him out of the way so only you and your DS eat together, and try to improve the tea time food.

Get rid of the yogurts, fruit juice, chocolates and ice creams. Add more exciting fruits in perhaps.

I feel your pain OP, and also had a child who went from "eats anything" to "fussy" at about that age.

It's not so terrible though and he will probably grow out of it, but only if your DP stops modelling the idea that each person at the table can eat what they choose and reject your cooking.

For tweaks I would lose the rice krispies and cornflakes and stick to whole grain cereal. Try poached egg and wholemeal toast soldiers (easier to dip than a boiled egg) now and again.

Make sure all bread is wholemeal. See if he'll eat a whole corn on the cob. As a quick accompaniment to sausages try Tilda Kids rice- the wholegrain and sunshine vegetable ones have lots of vegetables in them.

Try not to have pizza for tea if he had ham sandwich for lunch. For a snack try orange peppers since he likes orange things so much! With hummus to dip maybe. Ditch the wotsits and quavers. Try Pom bears if he wants a crunchy thing. Crack on with the chocolate buttons and occasional Happy Meals!

Don't be surprised if he's bowled over by tasting flavour for the first time.

Wow, that is spectacularly sanctimonious.

Your dp is the problem, your child is copying his behaviour. I put things on my dcs plates and ask them to try one bite but if they won't i don't push it. Quite often they see me enjoying it and then they eat it too. I don't stop offering them stuff because they tell me they don't like it.

But overall my dc diet is similar to your dc diet but mine do have more fruit and veg. But the absolute worst thing you can do is make a big deal over food. Just keep trying him on new food with no pressure for him to eat it.

Don't think it's that bad but dinner is quite processed.
What about veggie sausages?
Is it home made pasta sauce.

You can make dough with just flour and Greek yoghurt for pizza.

Lasagne or spag bol, chicken breast or home made chicken nuggets.

Sweet potato wedges.

Salmon? I'm not a great at cooking and don't enjoy it but a few things I do.

Ditch the wotsits and quavers. Try Pom bears if he wants a crunchy thing

What makes you think pom bears are any better nutritionally than quavers or wotsits?

It’s not awful but it’s not fab. I’d say you’re rocking a solid 5/10.

I could suggest you move to feeding him nothing but home cooked veg and lean protein but that’s probably not realistic so here are some small changes;

Natural yoghurt instead of sugary yoghurt
Veggie crisps or plain popcorn/rice cakes instead of regular crisps
Wholemeal bread for sandwiches

Potato waffle instead of chips
Limit stuff like pizza or fatty meats like sausages to 2/3 times a week max.
Try replacing with some easy things like fish cakes & green veg.

My 17mo currently eats

07:00 - slice wholemeal toast & fruit (usually apple or some kind of berries)

9:00 - mashed banana or some natural yoghurt

12:00- boiled egg, potato waffle, chopped tomatoes

3:00- 1 chocolate digestive

6:00- salmon fish cake with peas and broccoli

Could I cut out the digestive? Yes I could but I’m breast feeding a small baby and he sees me having a cheeky afternoon sweet treat and cries to share. It’s one biscuit. He’ll survive I’m sure

Baffled you have to ask. Is this a reverse? It's the kind of things dodgy TV channels put shows on about.

Sugary cereals, sugary yoghurts (can barely be called yoghurt; sugar-filled guar gum aimed at children is trash), orange puff crisps devoid of any nutrition, biscuits and chocolate, "kid" food like chicken nuggets and then more chocolate. Juice or milk before bed to rot the teeth.

Would you like to live on that? Can't the kid have a single decent meal? He gets to eat an adults' chips 'from the takeaway'?

Are you describing a neighbour or friend you don't like? This doesn't seem believable.

Prepare a fresh meal and serve it to adults and children. Don't faff about with "liking", just let him explore it. He'll eat some of it and develop a proper palate. Don't be surprised if he's bowled over by tasting flavour for the first time.

This has got to be a troll hahaha, Mumsnet is bizarre. I refuse to believe any real human actually thinks this.

I don't think it's ideal but I think it's a fairly common diet at that age.

I'd start with one simple change each week and see how that goes. So, no more cornflakes or rice crispies. Replace these with porridge or scrambled egg and wholemeal toast (for example) . When that's established think about the snacks. Could you add hummus with carrot sticks or a little banana?

Cooking with little ones is a great way of widening what they eat so that's worth a try. Try not to feel guilty, most parents have this problem at some time.

It's not that great. Mine aren't very good with veg so I'll make sure they have cucumber, tomatoes, carrot sticks, sweet corn etc.
They definitely don't have chocolate every day, maybe once a week.
Can you swap to sugar free jelly, or yogurt for desert instead of ice cream?
Today mine had-
Toast with boiled egg
Pesto pasta with salad on the side and for tea are having roast dinner with cauliflower cheese (a veg they will eat) and some of the trimmings.
They haven't snacked between meals and don't often have snacks unless at school/nursery.

@CallMeRisley it's just food.

Call it by it's name e.g. sweets, chocolate, cake, whatever, or by when you eat it e.g. desert, pudding, snack.

If you start calling things "treats" it means it is a special food and you don't want your child to name food as good or bad.