Is DS’ diet really that bad?

[enuquer]

Please be kind.

DS is 2, will be 3 at the end of the year. His daily diet is usually

Breakfast: weetabix or rice krispies/corn flakes

Morning snack: an orange or a yoghurt

Lunch: Ham sandwich with an orange or yoghurt (whatever he doesn't have for snack) and some wotsits or quavers

Afternoon snack: 2 biscuits or a small packet of chocolate buttons

Dinner: pasta/pizza/ sausage and mash with carrots/fish fingers/chicken nuggets/ the occasional McDonald's happy meal (probably once or twice a month)

Dessert: ice cream or a small chocolate bar

Then he sometimes has chips if me and DP have had a takeaway, and he isn't asleep yet.

The only fruit and veg he'll eat are oranges and carrots. During the day he does drink water or apple juice and has a bottle of milk before bed.

We recently stayed at my mum's as my mum said that he shouldn't be eating those foods and his diet is awful.

Is it really that bad?

Thats horrendous sorry.

Yes its a DP problem

Our kiddo had an ice lolly most days. It’s a mix of puréed fruit (mango or strawberries), veg like butternut squash, carrots, peeled courgette or cucumber and white cabbage blended with kefir or high protein yoghurt. Sometimes I put some chia seeds or flax seeds in too if I can get away with it. The little darling has no idea all the good stuff he’s eating in his lolly and thinks he’s having a great treat. The only veg he will eat is broccoli or green beans and only veg is watermelon, banana or satsumas. It’s really hard to get the veg into them so I’m all in favour of a bit of subterfuge! It sounds like a lot of effort but if you buy a couple of lolly moulds and have freezer space it’s a once a fortnight job that gives a little health related peace of mind!

Why did you even introduce chocolate/sweets/ice cream to a two year old anyway?

Of course you’re going to have trouble getting them to eat sensibly after that.

I am with your Mum. The food you have mentioned should be a treat once in a while or kept for days were you can't be bothered to cook or you have been out all day and want something that you can just put in the oven (fish fingers for example). From your list looks like there is too much processed food and not enough variety of fruit and fresh vegetables.

Sounds like you make him food just for him. If he had same as you then he would have more variety. Keep offering different things. I wouldn’t give crisps and biscuits every day. Jacket potato, scrambled eggs, beans on toast would be more variety and are usually popular with children.

That is a lot of sugar and ultra processed food so not great.

I wouldn't be giving Quavers or Wotsits every day.

Chicken nuggets, fish fingers and sausages are all ultra processed.

How about drop the sugar laden afternoon snack and replace with something like dried apricot, raisins, cucumber sticks.

Do you make your own mash or is that processed too? I take a can of butter beans and blend them really fine and mix them into mash and no-one knows.

Make your own pasta sauce or tomato based pizza sauce - chuck a load of veg in it and blend it.

Give him sweet potato fries instead of chips.

Just start gradually making substitutes.

@Divebar2021

Ok I’m trying to be kind but sorry it’s not great. Is this the food you eat or do you eat differently? This looks like you don’t cook or enjoy a wide range of foods yourself.

I agree with this. It’s certainly not the worst but there is definitely room for improvement. What kind of foods do you enjoy?

We are currently doing blw with my 9 month old (so plenty of time to turn into a fussy toddler) but currently he will eat almost anything I give him. His favourite vegetables are courgettes and mushrooms and he loves loves loves curry!

I am a huge fan of the what mummy makes book. Currently about £8 on Amazon and she has an Instagram page full of recipes too. Me and husband love food and cooking and were worried that we would not enjoy weaning because the food would be bland…not the case here at all! We’ve loved everything we’ve made so far! We just remove baby portion and then add salt to the rest! There are lots of ideas for cake/savoury biscuits/flapjacks etc that contain lots of hidden fruit and veg and as they are aimed at babies as young as 6 months, they have very low sugar content or contain healthier alternatives. I’ve started to stick up my freezer and nothing so far has taken me more than 20 minute prep. I’m making the peanut butter and banana cookies this week! Things like this would be much more preferable than chocolate or crisps as a snack but are still a nice treat.

He’s 2, he shouldn’t be having crisps, biscuits and chocolate every day as part of normal meals and snacks. Those things are treats.

It’s so hard with a veg refuser. You’re doing the right thing to keep offering. Lots of children age out of fussiness about vegetables.

I think he’s having a bit too much sugar. Chocolate twice per day is a bit too much at his age, I think. I’d try and replace the afternoon snack with something a bit healthier and ditch the evening dessert. He doesn’t need dessert every day. I’d give him fruit or yoghurt after dinner if he’s still hungry and keep the chocolate and ice cream as a once a week thing.

@L1ttleSeahorse

Hang on your DP doesnt eat what you eat either? What does he eat??? (And is he diagnised with anything?)

No, DP isn't diagnosed with anything. But he'll eat burgers, toast, cheese sandwiches, pizza, spag bol, any vegetable, sausage, crisps, yoghurts, salad, a roast, pasta with sauce, any cereals, chips, chicken nuggets etc. He only drinks water or fizzy pop though but he only drinks water around DS in case he wanted fizzy as he's obviously too young.

His mum always let him pick his own meals growing up.

I think the issue is the crisps, chocolate and ice-cream. Those shouldn't be daily parts of his diet, could you take those to once a week? McDonalds has so much rubbish in it I wouldn't give to him but I know people do and it's more about the daily habits anyway.

way too much sugar and processed food. ditch the cereal and switch to porridge / HM granola with fruit and yoghurt for breakfast. fruit only for a snack. no crisps / sweets at lunch or in the afternoon - why even offer these?! and he needs a LOT more veg at lunch and dinner. sounds like you and your DH need to model better eating habits.

The food our children eat by Joanna Blythman is a great book with loads of strategies for supporting children to have a healthy diet

Your DS' breakfast & morning snack sound fine. After that, too much processed food/ sugar

We make DD try everything on her plate. Even if she only touches it to her lips or tongue. We’ve had a lot of success & a lot of outright rejection. We tell her some food takes a bit of “practice”, like writing or new words, before it seems normal. She went through a massively fussy phase a year or so ago (she was 7-8, now 9) but she’s improving a lot now.

Also your DP needs to stop giving in & providing pizza every time your DS doesn’t like something. It’s lazy & it’s setting him up for a lifetime of poor health & dietary restriction & boredom. He’s effectively sabotaging your son’s future health.

And yes, you really do need to increase his intake of fresh fruit & vegetables, & decrease the proportion of processed foods he has. Even just swapping to homemade wedges instead of chips would be better, for instance.

Would he eat a small slice of toast & scrambled egg for breakfast? He might not need a snack mid morning. By 2 we’d stopped giving DD a snack between meals unless she was ill & refusing food, it’s really not necessary if they’re getting enough protein & fat.

Why does he have the morning snack biscuits, crisps with lunch and the sugary dessert after dinner? Is this really every day? Does he ask, do you offer? Does he know where they are kept in the kitchen & just go to get them?

I'm not so hung up on snacks, but only pizza or plain pasta is not great for dinner every day. A lot of toddlers don't like mushed up mixed food, so maybe that's why he objects to cottage pie. What if you made some veggies and things separately and let him serve himself and try what he likes? Broccoli, green beans, carrots etc - my first would not touch the stuff if we plated and cut it up, but was happy to plate his own.

It’s not awful but apple juice is full of sugar. Just offer water and maybe one cup of squash a day. I don’t know if you mean a bottle of milk or just a cup but no child over the age of 1 needs to drink from a bottle - it will be damaging his teeth.

Sorry, but yes, it’s fairly bad.

It's not great. But 2 year olds are very much a work in progress (mine ate widely as babies then we had years if fuss before they came out the other side - ds 2 was also down to 2 vegetables at one point). I think you would do well to limit the amount of processed foods you are giving him and offer a far wider range of foods, including many more vegetables. To begin with he won't eat it, and dont stress about that, but he can get used to the idea that one day he might want to try it.

If he will tolerate sauces or wet foods then you can hide vegetables in those (blend it in or chopped v fine). Mine ate stealth vegetables long before they welcomed the real deal on their plates.

Your DP sounds fairly fussy and I think this will be adding to your toddler’s fussiness. Children pick up habits from parents so quickly.

I think you need to try and get excited by food as a family. Why not look on some family food/ weaning recipe websites or Instagram pages and pick a few meal ideas together (you and dp) to have as a family.

Just to add, he would eat anything this time last year!

For example for breakfast he'd have porridge, lunch, sandwich or anything else I gave him dinner, anything I gave him really!

He’d also eat plenty of fruit and vegetables, and he'd have healthy snacks, he didn't eat crisps or chocolate or McDonald's or anything like that, he just started refusing whatever I cooked for him and then DP would give him some of his food then it became a habit for DS to refuse.

I remember having a fight with my mum about this.
She is overweight. I have struggled with my weight and diet due to how I grew up. I wanted better for my children. I banned sweets/chocolate/biscuits etc when he was born. I made it very clear that he was not to be given those things, even as a toddler. He would start getting things like that when he reached school age and already had a solid base of good food and "healthy" puddings.

I didnt want my 2 year old to know what chocolate was. It was very hard because my mum thought it was just the sort of thing you snack on, but I stood firm on it.

There is absolutely no need, and no excuse, for 2/3 year olds to know what chocolate is.

@randomchap

That's not awful at all.

Maybe he could do with more veg but I've not heard of many 2 year olds who eat a wide range of veg. Mine stuck to just carrots and sweetcorn for years but now eat most veg as they got older.

As long as he's eating and happy then don't let others tell you you're wrong.

That's not really how diets work is it though?

As long as he's eating it's fine - is not fine as an attitude really.

He's eating a ton of processed foods. Why not just cook a chicken breast and serve it with mash and veg (or mash with peas in it), or even make your own chicken or fish goujons, make risotto with haddock and peas, fish pie, stir fry, pasta with a tomato sauce and add in whatever veg you like (mine liked broccoli at that age as it has a natural handle ). Noodles are always a hit with little kids too. Spaghetti bolognese, make a mild chilli.

There's a million things you can feed him!

Definitely a good idea to up the stealth vegetables. I think MacDonalds for a two year old is pretty bad, sorry. and he seems to have a lot to chocolate, biscuits etc. But these things are probably fixable, the main concern seems to be the junky nature of your Partners diet and the fact he’s giving in to your toddler and modelling poor dietary choices.

I think you know it's not amazing which is why you posted on here. I would ditch the chocolate buttons and ice cream every day and replace with fruit and/or yoghurt. Having said that, when one of my DC was 2 he had an awful diet because it's all he would eat - plain pasta, sausages, peanut butter toast, sweet corn, bananas and petit filous type yoghurts. It was pretty shit but it was that or huge battles and I didn't have time as he was DC3. Fast forward four years and he eats absolutely fine- he's not the best of the 3 but he eats a sensible breakfast and a variety of home cooked, unprocessed main meals. A lot can change but do keep offering good food.

@icedcoffees

It's suspect it's pretty similar to what a lot 2-3 years old eat in reality, to be honest.

I know MN toddlers all eat quinoa, couscous, olives, 10 varieties of veg and baked salmon for dinner but in the real world, pasta, ham sandwiches, yoghurt, oranges etc. are pretty normal foods for toddlers.

I don't think he needs biscuits, chocolate bars and buttons every day, though, and I would get rid of the apple juice and just give water or milk.

I have to say my 2 yer old was one of these, still is at 9,will eat Al fruit and veg,very adveenterus palate,only drank water and milk until about 4,hadn't had chocolate, didn't eat fried foods or other junk either