To ask for hints for going back to FT work?

[SpottyTablecloths]

I have just finished a P/T , very flexible role and start a F/T one in about 2 weeks time. New role has zero flexibilty - working in an office 8.30-4.30. First time working F/T since 2005....albeit whilst SAHM and/or Part-time I always did all the household stuff. (DC are going into Y11 and Y9).

I am very excited about the job (oooo the ability to use my brain!!!) but am having the occassional freak out about how everything will work!

So:
DH very supportive (but works v v v long hours and earns about 10 x what I will be earning). He is happy to do what he can when he is here.
We have fortnightly cleaners.

Washing machine with a timer function.

Regular supermarket delivery slot.

I am going to try and sit down this week and do some proper meal-planning, Always been half-hearted about it up until now (because I could be tbh..) We have accepted we may eat beans on toast a bit more frequently to start with...

I know I have it easier than some. But am anxious about it. Please reassure me it will be OK? And share any lessons-learnt or tips you can please? Or any one-saucepan, store-cupboard-ingredients quick meals (apart from risotto and dahl)...

Thank you!

Dishwasher emptied before bed, kitchen wiped down.

Good idea - though covered . Plus the chores below:

Dishwasher emptying is DC1's job first thing. They are V V reliable at it
Kitchen always wiped down after evening meal.
Bins emptying DC1 jobs (they get paid for it)
Daily chicken jobs/egg collecting DC2 job (they need reminding!)
Weekly sandwich making (frozen) DC1 job (again paid for it) so they do their own lunches, I just have to make sure stuff is in the fridge.

Always do a load of washing each day (and put away); consider what jobs DCs could usefully do and tie to pocket money (mine are tiny but have to get pjs off and leave on the stairs before i put on cbeebies in the am, just an example); get a meal box for a couple of weeks to smooth the transition; set aside an evening ech week/month for the domestic admin eg food shops/banking/whatever. Make sure you dont keep all the invisible wifework! Just had to do all this after i went back to qork post mat leave. I still do most of the wife work though . Congrats on your new job!

Ooh i see you have your kids well trained already!

You don’t mention a commute? So I can’t really see the problem with those hours, a
Cleaner and a supermarket delivery slot. I have to leave the house at 7.30, so I get up by 6 to walk the dog before work, get ready and make my breakfast and lunch to take with me. The kids make their own breakfasts and lunches, if they’re not eating at school. I finish work at the same time as you, home by 5pm, so I cook when I get back, apart from one night a week when the kids cook. They are also responsible for the dog’s afternoon walk. I get that making the switch back to full time must be daunting, but what exactly is it you’re concerned about not fitting in?

Oh, plan your work outfits so they are clean and ready on sunday night - the morning exit is so hard when you've always been 'on hand'

Google a range of recipes you can have on the table in 20/25 mins. I only do quick things on work nights. Pasta, couscous, fajitas, stir fries, fish, all brilliant. Make extra quantities of stuff at the weekend and heat on a Monday. If Monday goes ok, the rest of the week is never so bad. 😆

@MoiraRose4

You don’t mention a commute? So I can’t really see the problem with those hours, a Cleaner and a supermarket delivery slot. I have to leave the house at 7.30, so I get up by 6 to walk the dog before work, get ready and make my breakfast and lunch to take with me. The kids make their own breakfasts and lunches, if they’re not eating at school. I finish work at the same time as you, home by 5pm, so I cook when I get back, apart from one night a week when the kids cook. They are also responsible for the dog’s afternoon walk. I get that making the switch back to full time must be daunting, but what exactly is it you’re concerned about not fitting in?

I don't know! Probably letting people (DC? DH?) down? Am a bit prone to change-based anxiety anyway. And am sure it will all be fine... but just trying to plan, plan, plan so it goes as smoothly as it can and I don't regret the change......

I suppose am trying to make sure I'm not late/flustered/an anxious mess when I get to work on my first few days....

Oh and commute.... less than a kilometer. Am going on my bike (all down hill)....

Relax, it's going to be a walk in the park.

You finish at 4:30, unless you've got a long commute you've basically got a good 6h every evening to deal with stuff. Plenty of time to cook dinner, make sandwiches, clean the kitchen and rest.

Could you get the cleaners to visit weekly?

@Thorgod

Oh, plan your work outfits so they are clean and ready on sunday night - the morning exit is so hard when you've always been 'on hand'

Good thinking! Hadn't thought much about that. I have enough outfits...but previously starting at 9.30 meant I had a gently hour to faff once the children had left for school. No faffing time there anymore!

For the first month or so consider a recipe box or batch cook and freeze meals. I found I was exhausted when I went back to work FT and cooking was hard work.

My advice is to get your children involved asap. My mistake is not to have expected much from my kids in terms of chores. It's done them no favours and they take it all for granted. I should have given them a schedule of chores to do and make it that it was totally normal part of our family life.

I get that. My initial response was a bit harsh, apologies. I second the person that said about planning your outfits in advance. Be organised where you can. Be prepared to relax your standards. I often have these grand notions of kicking arse in work, studying, keeping a clean and tidy house, eating well, exercising regularly and being a great mum. Not possible. Housework is the first one to slide for me, and I think you have to give yourself permission not to be on top of everything at all times.

@SparklyLeprechaun

Relax, it's going to be a walk in the park.

You finish at 4:30, unless you've got a long commute you've basically got a good 6h every evening to deal with stuff. Plenty of time to cook dinner, make sandwiches, clean the kitchen and rest.

Thank you! Yes. I know you are right. I think, in a way, I wish I could just start so that I can get those first day/week/change nerves banished. Instead I have 2 weeks of weird "turning up to new job naked/late/in my gym stuff" dreams which is just fuelling the stupid anxiety.

Probably need to give my head a wobble. and just get on with some meal planning rather than procrastinating

cleaner to twice a wk?

subscribe to guesto or cook etc

I work 4 days a week 9-4 with a tiny commute. It's pretty easy to fit stuff in ore work & post although admittedly I can wfh & have flexi hours & DH is 100% wfh at the moment.

@MoiraRose4

I get that. My initial response was a bit harsh, apologies. I second the person that said about planning your outfits in advance. Be organised where you can. Be prepared to relax your standards. I often have these grand notions of kicking arse in work, studying, keeping a clean and tidy house, eating well, exercising regularly and being a great mum. Not possible. Housework is the first one to slide for me, and I think you have to give yourself permission not to be on top of everything at all times.

Oh you are right.

I think (even though it is not an amazing "high flying" job, or even close to my previous career) it is a step up for me. And a really cool, challening role. And I want both DS and DD to see me succeed - as a role model for them. That I am not just "Mum".

But you are right - I need to give myself permission for stuff to slide. DH/DC seem v cool with it. DH says we will all muddle through and it may take some time but we'll get there. Am not very good at it sliding/not being in control. So probably be good for me! Beans on toast and washing mountaints wil not kill anyone..

I'd up the cleaner to once or even twice a week. Outsource your ironing if at all possible. I found that getting a gardener, even just occasionally, meant that I didn't spend my weekends hacking through the weeds.

And cut yourself some slack. Pizza from the freezer or a takeaway is fine once a week and takes some of the stress away.

I don't work FT but am just about to go up to 4 days when DD2 starts nursery. I think with older children it will be somewhat easier but to add to your list:

• delegate some evening chores to your teens eg emptying dishwasher so you do get time to rest in the evening
• solid meal planning with very easy and quick to prepare week night meals for 4 nights a week and maybe a takeaway on a Friday
• put on a load of washing every evening when as soon as you get home from work (while cooking)
• if DH earns £££ can you up your cleaner to once a week to stop you getting stressed about the state of the house mid second week?
• FT jobs tend to blend into weekend too nowadays. Make sure you have Friday evening plus one whole weekend day totally off email/calls. Just ignore anyone who tries to call in those hours

And yes, put away the washing. I have five loads to put away right now. Ugh.

Cleaner once a week. Without a doubt.

Wrong stuff slide wasn’t an option for me
As i know it would make me fundamentally unhappy

So I throw money at things
Gardener
Cleaner once a week
Handyman on speed dial!

Letting stuff slide I meant to say