To hate the hairdressers?

[MiaMarshmallows]

I have an appointment later next week and already dreading it.
Hate the small talk, the head massage (Know I am alone with this but feels uncomfortably intimate), the embarrassment of having a dry scalp and it being commented on, having to look at myself for ages in the mirror, the cost....aibu?

YANBU

Just tell her you don't want a head massage. The rest is not easily avoided though

Youre not unreasonable to hate it, but it seems a bit odd to keep putting yourself through a process you hate so much. Why don't you just stop going?

I’m the same. The salon I go to is quite small and run by a team of fairly young women.They’re massively unprofessional, are unbelievably irritating to be around and bicker constantly. It’s the least relaxing experience I’ve ever had in a salon. However, it’s also the best anyone has ever done my hair so I suck it up and sit there for 3 hours every 6 weeks.

I don't mind the head massage, but I hate starting at my own reflection for so long especially with wet hair, I'm so unattractive in those mirrors!

Staring obvs!

I don’t consider a head massage compulsory at the hairdresser if that helps at all?

I go to the barber's. Have to take my glasses off, which means I can't see in the mirror. Quick, cheap, significantly less unpleasant than some horrendous pampery head-massaging luxury experience. Try that?

Ah me too! I dodged it for years but recently found someone who does a quick and decent cut for £13, no faff and I can sit there in blissful silence.

When I lived in the home counties it didn't really matter if I just wanted a trim I couldn't find anywhere who would do it for under £30 and a dry cut was unheard of at salons as far as I can tell. Really used to annoy me that DH could walk in and get a more complicated hairdo than my trim and pay less, now we pay about the same and she even gives me a wee blow dry!

That's the annoying thing. I only ever have an inch or two off and have to pay £30 for the privilege as well as a hair wash and 'luxury' head massage that I could well do without.

For starters- Tell them you don't like the head massage! This is not unusual and they'll be happy to skip it.

And then try some other salons, you'll be amazed how a different experience can be much more pleasant.

I'd rather go to the dentist than sit in the scaredresser's chair!

I cut my own and have for years! Was initially to save money but actually I now much prefer it. I've learned how to cut it how I like it and I don't have to wait for an appointment. If I've just washed and feel it needs a trim I simply whip out mirror, brush, ponytail band and scissors and I'm done in 5-10 mins. I've had hairdressers ask for my recommendation for who does my hair and they don't believe me when I say I do it myself.

I probably didn't do a great job at first but it grows and it just takes practice.

I used to do dds hair too when she still lived at home, she moans like made now at the amount she has to pay! (She's at other end of country now) and she has trouble finding a hairdresser who CAN cut her hair without making a mess of it! (Double crown, thick and naturally extremely curly and she likes to wear it waist length) most of them get caught out on the double crown and end up cutting more off than she'd like to correct THEIR mistake even DESPITE her warning them and telling them to go very gradually. The last one cut about 8" off! Was only mean to be a trim. She was livid!

I hate any sort of massage and I always tell the shampoo girl no massage please as I sit in the chair. It has always been fine they usually say OK and leave it at that.

I never used to have my hair washed at the salon, I did it at home and had a wet cut, but when I started to go grey and needed colour I had to get used to them doing the shampoo.

You are paying and it’s not rude to request it’s done the way you like it.

Apparently they have to do the hair washing because of covid rules

Just say you'd like to skip the head massage as you sit down.

I hate going too. My salon is lovely but it's so boring. For longer appointments I save online admin to do while I have dye on.

Can you find a place that does a dry cut so you don’t have to have the wash? Or tell them to skip the massage as you are short for time? Read a magazine so you don’t have to look in the mirror or make small talk if you find it uncomfortable.

Have you considered a mobile hairdresser?

After an allergic reaction a few years ago, I can't even be around the fumes in a salon. Now have it cut at home with the DC for a fraction of the price and wash and dry it myself.

I don't like the hairdressers and go as infrequently as possible. When I do go, I've tended to go to a walk in place which is pretty much "no frills" but does a decent job. Unfortunately since Covid they're now appointment only but you can at least book on line. But going to the hairdressers is very much on a par with going to the dentist or opticians for me - a tedious necessity, not something to look forward to.

They have to wash the hair due to Covid?? ohhhhkay then. I realise they can set whatever bonkers rules they like in their own salon, but I'm sure there are other places who would either let you turn up with wet hair for a cut, or do a dry cut for you. I find it difficult to cut the back of mine myself so I wash it at home, whizz to hairdresser for cut, then come home to dry it myself.

Yanbu, I stopped going a couple of years ago as just none of it was enjoyable. Dh cuts my hair now!

I can't face going, so I've been cutting my own hair, with dh doing the back. I now have a sort of jaw length bob and my fringe looks better than when the hairdresser does it. It feels quite fun to trim it myself.

I was the same now I have a mobile hairdresser where she just gives me a wet cut and I dry myself. Very quick and cheap

@TheLovleyChebbyMcGee

I don't mind the head massage, but I hate starting at my own reflection for so long especially with wet hair, I'm so unattractive in those mirrors!

There's just something about those bloody, BLOODY hairdressers mirrors. I look vile in them.

@MiaMarshmallows YANBU.

I don't think that can be true. My ds12 comes to the same hairdressers as me and he gets a wet cut - sprayed with the bottle.

I recently had to change hairdressers as regular one has opened a new salon several miles away. The new choice is within a 5 min walk. Had hair washed and was then given a head msssage. Totally shocked by it initially. Im 50 had been going to other hairdressers for 23+ yrs and although they always gave it a good 'firm' wash it never felt like a massage. This felt extremely intimate and although initial shock I did enjoy it. I love having hair 'played' with, can sit for hours letting the kids 'do' my hair as it really relaxes me, but i can totally get that others would find it too personal/uncomfortable.
My mam hated the whole experience of the hairdressers and actually found someone to come to the house to give her a trim. No mirrors, no washing and she told her, in advance that she preferred / found small talk uncomfortable.