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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not to take the train with a newborn?

75 replies

georgarina · 15/08/2021 13:53

I have a 2-week-old and parents invited me to their house for the weekend. I can't drive this weekend and neither can they so would have to take the train 2 hours with her.

I thought about it and said I would love to but I'm not comfortable taking her on the train with covid. They clearly acted like they minded so I asked if they understood and they said not really. Basically they made me feel really bad about it - on top of me actually wanting to go so I felt doubly bad staying home.

AIBU?

OP posts:
trunumber · 15/08/2021 13:54

I wouldn't go with a newborn because of covid either. You are her mum, you get to choose. Why don't they just come to you?

OwlBasket · 15/08/2021 13:57

YWNBU not to feel comfortable with two hours on a train at two weeks postpartum even without COVID.

Disfordarkchocolate · 15/08/2021 13:57

Is there a reason they can't travel on the train to you? That would always be my first option, not asking a Mum to travel with a tiny baby.

PlanDeRaccordement · 15/08/2021 13:57

There is less risk of Covid transmission from 1 adult carry a child on a train versus 2 adults travelling on the train. Plus you know you’d be very careful about hygiene while on the train, would they be as careful?

I’d only go though if my baby were breastfed as that gives them an immune boost. If my baby we’re formula fed, I wouldn’t go at all, or have them travel to me either. It would be FaceTime or nothing.

ohwhatadustyanswer · 15/08/2021 14:02

Absolute madness! Why on earth would you want to travel 2 hours with a newborn. You must just want to snuggle on the sofa - and your parents should be coming round to wait on you hand and foot if they want to see you. Your parents need to realise that your tiny baby is your priority now, not pleasing them.

pinkcircustop · 15/08/2021 14:03

I think YABU. What’s the problem exactly? Confused

TinySaltLick · 15/08/2021 14:05

The idea of travelling 2 hours on a train with a two week old sounds completely wild, with ours we hadn't even got to the end of the road that early

I would shudder at that idea now and they are almost at school

Tell them to come back in 3 months

yomellamoHelly · 15/08/2021 14:05

Think it will be easier for your parents to travel. And that will remain the case for a good few years.

suziedoozy · 15/08/2021 14:05

2 week old? On a train? Err no

Never mind Covid just no!

When they are a bit older and you have had some recovery time too fine (they are at their more portable before they can walk!) but not a chance and nothing even to dow it’s Covid just 2 week after birth!

superram · 15/08/2021 14:07

Yanbu but not because of covid. At 2 weeks postpartum I couldn’t have sat on a train for 2 hours, you might not get a seat anywhere where you could leave the pram up. I just couldn’t be arsed!

luciasanta · 15/08/2021 14:09

What????? With a two week old??? They are b vvvvv u to demand anything from you, covid or not! If they want to see you (and you're happy to see them), they travel to you of course!

Curiosity101 · 15/08/2021 14:12

I agree with others.

Even if we weren't in a pandemic I wouldn't be traveling 2 hours on a train with a 2 week old unless it was a completely essential unavoidable trip. If they can't come to you then they'll just have to wait and you can reschedule for a day that suits everyone.

MilduraS · 15/08/2021 14:13

Covid wouldn't stop me but trying to lug my stuff around with a newborn in tow would.

Plumtree391 · 15/08/2021 14:14

I wouldn't take a long train journey on my own with a young baby even without Covid. I'd have thought your parents would understand.

CharlotteUnaNatalieThompson · 15/08/2021 14:26

@pinkcircustop

I think YABU. What’s the problem exactly? Confused
Do you get off on trying to making a new mum feel shit and inadequate @pinkcircustop? Shame on you.

OP as others have said YANBU to not want to make a 2hr journey with a tiny baby regardless of covid and if your parents don't understand that it's their problem not yours. If they want to see you they travel.

Macncheeseballs · 15/08/2021 14:28

The train is a great way to travel with a baby and are often half empty

girlmom21 · 15/08/2021 14:28

Yeah 2 hours on a train 2 weeks PP would be an instant no from me!

Macncheeseballs · 15/08/2021 14:29

Babies are very portable

Macncheeseballs · 15/08/2021 14:29

And too young to crawl

Cornettoninja · 15/08/2021 14:31

Fuck that for a game of soldiers covid or not.

You say you can’t drive this weekend specifically? Whatever the reason, at the very least wait until you can drive.

Macncheeseballs · 15/08/2021 14:32

Why is driving so much better?Confused

StarDrawers · 15/08/2021 14:32

2 weeks, I don't think I'd even left the house at that point. Why can't they catch the train to you.

Cornettoninja · 15/08/2021 14:34

@Macncheeseballs

Why is driving so much better?Confused
From a covid point of view it’s obviously much better than two trains..
JassyRadlett · 15/08/2021 14:35

There is less risk of Covid transmission from 1 adult carry a child on a train versus 2 adults travelling on the train.

I would very much like to see the maths behind this risk assessment, including risks of secondary transmission over the course of two days post-exposure.

OP, YANBU simply on the basis that you gave birth two weeks ago and two hours on a train with your newborn may well just feel like a lot even without Covid.

Add in Covid rates no longer falling and mask wearing steadily declining, and this being an airborne virus so you can’t ‘careful about hygiene’ your way out of risk, and it seems pretty reasonable.

Any reason your parents can’t come to you?

shouldistop · 15/08/2021 14:37

I wouldn't be worried about Covid but expecting you to travel for 2 hours so soon after giving birth is unreasonable of them.

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