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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect cake on my birthday?

75 replies

HelloCanYouHearMe · 14/08/2021 16:13

Not a even a whole cake, just a slice will do!

Today is my birthday and i've had a lovely day with DP and have received some lovely gifts - but no cake.

I will be heading off to the supermarket later to get some for myself. Which i'll enjoy tonight with a gin and a film. But AIBcompletelyU and ungrateful here to be a little sad that I have to buy my own?

(Very aware this is a first world problem)

OP posts:
bloodywhitecat · 14/08/2021 16:15

I don't think DH has ever bought me cake for my birthday but I do make him one for his. It really doesn't bother me but if it bothers you then let him know

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 14/08/2021 16:23

I'd rather a pork pie personally
(I didn't get one Sad)

MadMadMadamMim · 14/08/2021 16:25

Cake is necessary on a birthday. But I'm pretty sure it wouldn't occur to DH to buy one.

I would have made myself one cos I don't like supermarket birthday cakes.

KrisAkabusi · 14/08/2021 16:26

It wouldn't occur to me that an adult would want birthday cake, particularly if I've already given them gifts. People are not mind-readers. Tell him if you want cake, don't expect him to guess and then feel sad because he hasn't done something that he never knew he was supposed to do!

WorraLiberty · 14/08/2021 16:29

I will be heading off to the supermarket later to get some for myself. Which i'll enjoy tonight with a gin and a film.

Isn't that just a bit passive aggressive?

You've had a lovely day with your DP and received some lovely gifts.

You can eat cake any day of your life.

RubyGoat · 14/08/2021 16:29

I’ve never had anyone provide me with cake on my birthday since I moved out of my parents house. I made one for myself a couple of times. I always do one for DD, & for DH if he wants one.

I’d rather have the day off from housework TBH.

Skiptheheartsandflowers · 14/08/2021 16:30

What's happened in previous years? Does he normally get you a cake?

Original poster
HelloCanYouHearMe · 14/08/2021 16:31

@WorraLiberty

I will be heading off to the supermarket later to get some for myself. Which i'll enjoy tonight with a gin and a film.

Isn't that just a bit passive aggressive?

You've had a lovely day with your DP and received some lovely gifts.

You can eat cake any day of your life.

Not really - i'm going to be home alone so...
OP posts:
Fdksyihfd · 14/08/2021 16:32

I always prompt DH to be honest; by now he knows but in the first couple of years it wouldn’t have occurred to him

StarDrawers · 14/08/2021 16:32

Not really - i'm going to be home alone so...

Nice! Enjoy your cake.

Rose789 · 14/08/2021 16:32

Happy birthday!
I would expect cake too

GoWalkabout · 14/08/2021 16:33

Let it go and make it a practice in gratitude! Our expectations get crazy specific because we do a lot for everyone else. Happy birthday. Skip the cake.

PeonyTime · 14/08/2021 16:44

Some form of special celebration dish, usually a cake, is totally normal.
I made me a birthday cake for a bit, then got the kids to help. The past few years, the kids have made DH help them do it. I think you need to mention to DP that you are stopping at the supermarket for Birthday cake.
I would not be impressed if the was no cake on a birthday in this house.
Enjoy your cake and gin, and very many happy returns.

Coffeeonmytoffee · 14/08/2021 16:47

Only if I buy it myself!

MoonlightWanderer · 14/08/2021 16:49

@GoWalkabout

Let it go and make it a practice in gratitude! Our expectations get crazy specific because we do a lot for everyone else. Happy birthday. Skip the cake.
If the OP wants cake, then why can’t she have cake? Surely that’s the joy of being an adult!?

Happy Birthday!! Enjoy your cake!

Jessicabrassica · 14/08/2021 16:54

I got no cake last year. I think cake on birthdays is important. This year I gave DD strict instructions as to how I wanted my cake decorated. She did a cracking job. (She's 11).

BikeRunSki · 14/08/2021 17:00

It took me 15 years of disappointment to realise tg
Hat if I wantedanything on my birthday, I had to organise it myself. Cake, present, meal out, nice breakfast, lethally anything. DH does know my DoB, but I think he only thinks he needs it for administrative purposes.

Summertime21 · 14/08/2021 17:02

I've told dh I want a cake and what sort as he would never think to get one

YouJustDoYou · 14/08/2021 17:03

dh wouldn't get one either without being told 😂 Just ask in future.

GameSetMatch · 14/08/2021 17:05

My husband never buys me a cake on my birthday so now I just buy my own, least I can pick the one I want usually a big chocolate one!

PurpleDaisies · 14/08/2021 17:06

It’s totally normal to expect cake on your birthday. YANBU at all.

Goodthings · 14/08/2021 17:07

Why will you be alone tonight?

foxy86 · 14/08/2021 17:08

When it’s my birthday I just buy cakes for work and have some there. It’s the only time I get Birthday cake. I know what I like so prefer to get my own. Besides if I had a cake bought it’d only be me that eats it. I have bought my hubby strawberry gateaux for his though as I know it’s something he likes.

FizzyPink · 14/08/2021 17:08

DP bought me an incredible cake for my birthday this year. It must have cost him at least £50.
It was a lovely thought and I hate to say it but I really don’t like cake or sweet things. Luckily we saw lots of family over that weekend so I was able to insist everyone try a piece.
I’d much rather no cake or something savoury.

Beeshome · 14/08/2021 17:09

We always do cake on everyone's birthday, adult or not. Depends on what's normal for you though I suppose?

Ime if I want dh to do something I have to ask and give instructions otherwise it won't happen.