To want family to stop commenting on what I eat?

[ThatsNotMyPinkUnicorn]

I don’t think I’m being unreasonable but I’d welcome any nice ways of approaching this as I don’t think it’s meant meanly or anything but it is upsetting me a bit.

So for context I’ve lost a lot of weight. I was seventeen and a half stone at my biggest, although that was when I was at 40 weeks pregnant so obviously some of that was the actual baby! I lost a stone and a half pretty much without trying in the 6 weeks post partum and then decided to go on an actual diet - meal replacement - beginning of February. I weighed exactly 16 stone then. So whether you take it as 17 and a half or 16 I’ve still lost a fair bit. Am 12 stone now.

I want to get down to 10, but I’m human and I do sometimes fail, especially now it’s summer so am meeting friends, going out more, and so sometimes life gets in the way.

What is driving me a bit mad though is DH commenting on it. Like he moved my car yesterday to allow another car on our drive and then came in carrying a crisp packet and a big grin and ‘ooh I found evidence.’ That’s an example but this sort of stuff happens all the time. Went for a meal with his parents and I ate then and they all went on about it.

I’m not looking for smart comebacks but I do want to tell him actually it makes me uncomfortable. I don’t comment on his pizzas and beers!

"Am I not allowed to eat?"

Sorry I read you are looking for comebacks, just tell them , you're not unreasonable.

Why haven't you told them straight? I've yo-yo dieted for two years. I'm around 14 1/2 stone. I've now got my eating under control and know that I can drop weight, but I allow myself more carbs, so I can drink, occasionally. I've told everyone to stfu about it when I do.

Roll your eyes, tell him I have lost x amount of weight, so my way works.
Keep repeating this.
AND is also a great response.
He holds up a bag of crisps .
Just look him dead in the eyes and say AND. Wait ....
If his answer upsets you point to your body that open hand guesture and say
AND again... Wait...
If he makes another nasty answer.
Just ask why he is being so offensive.

I have this problem. I’m sick of justifying what I eat (initially to myself, and then to everyone around me that thinks it’s ok to comment).

I get irrationally angry 😳

I have to say to people “when we talk about dieting/ weight loss when I’m eating it makes me feel sick”. I have to keep saying it. Also saying “wow you did well, I didn’t think you could eat all that”. It’s so annoying. I don’t need a running commentary. I’m already way too conscious about what I’m eating…

My friends no longer go on about it.

My mum still goes on about it.

I think I do need to be clear that it upsets and embarrasses me. I don’t really want to come off the diet yet but I do sometimes need a break, if only because I have had space food for months!

Wow, I take my hat off to you. Well done!

I’d hate this and would have to either ask people directly not to comment or just grey-rock it. Well done on your weight loss!

You've lost 4 stone since February?
They can't cope with how bloody awesome you are!
They are trying to de-awesome you. Don't let 'em!

I know how you feel. I hate people commenting on anything but especially my eating. I’ve lost 2.5 stone and bmi in the normal range but I think the contrast makes people want to tell me not to go too far!

Like my fil at Christmas telling me it’s not healthy to lose too much weight you know, over his giant stomach I might add. DH auntie actually asked him to stop picking on me!

Well done on the weight lose.

Am I getting this wrong or have you been on meal replacements for 6 months?

It's fucking annoying isn't it, I too have lost a large amount of weight. I was in the office yesterday and took a massive (not mumsnet massive) salad - 1 small chicken breast and the rest was leaves and other veg. As I emptied it onto a plate the first comment "wow, that's a lot of food" and someone else "can't believe you're going to eat all that". Both men, both overweight. As I know them well I just said "well you 2 fat bastards could take a leaf out of my book". Harsh but necessary I think.

@Postdatedpandemic

Well done on the weight lose.

Am I getting this wrong or have you been on meal replacements for 6 months?

Yes and no. Not consistently. I do fail some days as I’m just too human!

@thanksforyourcommentrandomman

It's fucking annoying isn't it, I too have lost a large amount of weight. I was in the office yesterday and took a massive (not mumsnet massive) salad - 1 small chicken breast and the rest was leaves and other veg. As I emptied it onto a plate the first comment "wow, that's a lot of food" and someone else "can't believe you're going to eat all that". Both men, both overweight. As I know them well I just said "well you 2 fat bastards could take a leaf out of my book". Harsh but necessary I think.

amazing response!

This is so annoying. It doesn't effect anyone else's life in any way what you eat.
I'd say ' so what ' it's a frickin twix. No one died and you aren't funny.

@ThatsNotMyPinkUnicorn they may be commenting because 6 months is a bloody long time on meal replacements.

Referring to days when you eat real food as a failure may indicate that you have got a somewhat disordered relationship with food. Your DH may feel that meal replacements and crisps is not healthy. Might be time to have a chat with him, does he fear you are going to do an endless cycle of yoyoing?

Are you planning on going back to real food at some time?
Have you got a long term eating plan to keep your weight stable?
Does his pizza habit threaten to disrupt all the effort you have put in so far?
Get communicating, he might be an annoying prat but he may also be your best ally.

Am I right in assuming quite a few member of your family and your husband don't look like an advertisement for healthy eating?

One response that works for me:

"Who appointed you the food police?"
But STFU works for recidivists.

I’m certainly not spending the rest of my life on meal replacements!

But realistically when you’ve got six stone + to lose, it takes time. I do have a crap relationship with food but people going on about evidence when I eat a packet of crisps doesn’t exactly help, tbf - it just makes me feel like I’m on trial!

I'd just be direct and say "what I eat isn't your business so can you please stop commenting on my food".

I'll never forget sitting in the works canteen once eating a plain jacket potato with salad and 3 skinny bitches sharing a single portion of chips between them talking loudly about "how they couldn't eat that huge plate of food over there" 🙄🙄🙄

It's just annoying.

Hope you don't mind me asking, what meal replacement did you do and what did you eat each day? Was it 7 days a week for 6 months?

Oh and yanbu BTW. Just have to tell them straight imo

Is he a perfect physical specimen?

Exante and no - I mean, I’ve never exactly planned to come off it unless it’s a social occasion but sometimes I have cooked something really nice or been hungry and I’ve caved.

Well done you, that’s a huge achievement ent, you should be very proud of yourself. Next time someone makes a snarky comment respond with : well I’ve lost by amount of weight. Thanks for your support. And leave it at that. Just shut them down.